RE: I'm trapped
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When I'm sad I generally write good lyrics very easily. But to open up Cubase and start composing I require a good mood, because I need to think, find solutions, craft sounds and so on.
I'm more prolific when I have peace of mind. So I feel like I have to find that before going back to work
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Everyone has his or her time. When you want to move as fast as others seem to be moving, you might only just get yourself hurt. Take the break you need and stop feeling sorry about it. Music as you've said is life, not just to you, to everyone that loves it too. So when you create something when you are better, people will find it regardless.
Try to rest a lot, stay hydrated, go for a walk and do some of your other favorite activities that makes you happy.