Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen - Chapter 99

Welcome to my seemingly endless journey.
A trip that will take you to places I might have visited many moons ago.
It´s a tale that came back to me when I meditated on one of my past lives. A life I told you about in my unbelievable true story.

As promised in that story I will now share this story with you.

Chapter 99

"When I move my eyes from my father to the girls I see their lifeless bodies fall to the ground, bleeding. Their parents sink to their knees standing a few steps away, not being allowed to move closer. I see them pressing their heads to the earth that is soaking up their daughter's blood."
Kreytu is swallowing back tears, and continues;

"The pools of blood grow around the motionless bodies of girls. These girls whose brothers I wanted to play with a few minutes ago. I can not seem to grasp that playing like that will never happen again. I feel it, but my mind can´t understand what just happened."

"What I do realize is that it took my father seconds to ensure that none of them will ever want to talk to me again, let alone play. How could he, why would my father do such a thing? Did he want these children to hate me?"

"I was raised with the idea of brave soldiers killed in battles. Battles in defense of their country and their leader. I believed a soldier was a savior of the people, a nobleman who helps his wounded comrade to escape the enemy's sword."

"What I saw now was not a soldier, I saw a child murderer. Did I idolize these men? Is this the way father works? I remember feeling extremely nauseous and my stomach turning several times. It felt as if all the blood left my face."

"Then my father looked at me and said; Son, you get used to blood, believe me. He winked as he spoke those words."

"Then everything turned black and I vomited like I never did before everything. This feeling reached the deepest depths of my stomach."
"Over the next weeks, I learned that everything I believed was a lie and that my entire life up to this point had not been real. In the years that followed, I learned more about the affairs of the army. The more I learned, the more my hatred grew. Hatred against soldiers, against the dirty oppression, against my father."

" But due to being a son of my father, I could not escape that army. When I turned sixteen summers father sent me along with a friendly officer. And
it felt as if I had no options, fleeing is deserting and punishable by death, the same applies to refusing an order."

"Therefore I did my duty and was disgusted with myself, with the weakness of not daring to stand up for what I believed in. After a few years, I was assigned to an upcoming young commander. I tried to do what I always did and stay in the background, but I noticed that Commander Reiko was different."

"Reiko turned out not to be an executioner, but only when I was completely sure of what kind of man Reiko was, I started to visit him more often."

"One night after a drink too many I expressed my disgust about certain matters and was not prosecuted. In fact, Reiko seemed to trust me even more. He increasingly assigned me to the more difficult missions or made me a temporary captain."

"Within a short time, I was his right-hand man. Together we tried to fight as honorably as possible, to outsmart our own soldiers by making plans that saved lives, but at the same time seem cunning and sophisticated."
"We took pleasure in selling these plans as violent, which increased our prestige. We kept getting better and better at our sales pitches and the troops swallowed it all as wine and honey. The men saw us as mean and cunning, a status that suited us just fine. They were proud to serve us. We too were proud, proud of the honest way in which we achieved our successes."

"For years we fought side by side until that day when word came that my father had fallen ill, seriously ill."

“This was my chance to leave the army,” Kreytu´s whole body shows a sign of relief when he speaks those words.

"There was only one reason to stay, that was you, my friend. But I knew you would understand that now I could put the thing I hate behind me. That I could return and try to start a clean life, in which I am no longer chased by the wishes of others. In which I can perhaps give back some of what he has taken. Do what my mother did, and not be a copy of my father."

"It took my father to fall from that pedestal to realize how much I missed my mother. Instead of allowing her in my heart, I had replaced her by idolizing him. That realization came late, and I noticed how I as a young man always felt myself drawn to older women. I never looked twice at young girls, maybe also because their innocence reminds me of blood to this day."

Cabilah puts an arm around Kreytu, only now do I see what others probably knew all along.

Something is brewing between the two, maybe they don't know it yet, but the whole room lights up at their touch. Numico looks at me and nods cautiously. We leave for our quarters, Dadrie follows silently, leaving the two by the fire.

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