When Schubert Hits You with the Winterreise Uno Reverse Postcard, but Beethoven and Bruckner Do the Rescue

All photos by the author, Deeann D. Mathews

OK, Franz Schubert actually is innocent ... he just gave me the framework to understand what happened to me in this last week.

In Schubert's most famous song cycle, Winterreise, he takes us on a journey of a character who, once rejected by the family of the woman he loves, spirals out of life, society, and faith, and ends up in the coldest, bleakest anteroom to imminent death ever, surrounded by all sorts of people as indifferent to each other and lost in their own world as he is.

In retrospect, I wonder if Schubert or Müller, the poet who contributed 24 poems, thought of the phrase "a cold day in hell" for the end of Winterreise in the song "Der Leiermann" or, "The Hurdy-Gurdy Man.* The main character is hardly alone any more in the last song, but it does him no good ... the hurdy-gurdy man is ragged and shoeless in the snow, heedless of his dangerous condition, and being ignored with his one tune as cold-hearted others rush by and put nothing in his plate, or offer him warmer clothes ... the wild dogs are waiting for him to fall from exhaustion, and snapping from their hunger (no one is willingly feeding them either, and it is winter, so other prey is hibernating).

Meanwhile, we can safely presume that the main character is roughly in the condition of the hurdy-gurdy man too ... he has not been into any town for quite some time, and there is a crow following him, waiting to eat. He too is heedless of the danger he is in, asking if he should go with the old hurdy-gurdy man and if said man would play his hurdy-gurdy for his songs -- despite the hurdy-gurdy man's condition and his own, while their trailing animals await their meals! And, because Winterreise ends right there, there the two shall forever be in their decisions to be lost forever as the deadly winter night approaches!

Earlier in Winterreise, the main character has not yet spiraled completely into wandering -- he has a new position and an address, for he has somewhere to wait for a letter, all excited in hope that perhaps his lost love will change her mind, and this is the day she will write and tell him ... although he knows it will never be, even though he wants to go back and see ... and the tension is about to burst his heart!

But suppose what happens is the reverse? Out of the 24 songs, the last one, "Der Leiermann," is the only one that is not in the voice of the main character except at the very end. What if that is a quote, like from the newspaper -- the last words he was heard to say? "Der Leiermann" has a witness to the events who is not an actor in it ... suppose he has written a letter or is telling the story to the woman who once loved the main character about the last time the main character was seen alive?

One would hope for a compassionate witness, who would tell the story sensitive to the total human tragedy of the scene ... and thus there is nobody like basso profondo Kurt Möll, whose sensitivity to the scenes of "Der Leiermann" comes through loud and clear...

... and one would hope for such a compassionate witness to tell the story to the woman as well, to break such news as that.

Of course, we do not know if that is indeed the case in Winterreise. It occurred to me as a possibility because a rather thoughtless witness brought me the news that a once-beloved has arrived in the long, grim winter his choices had him walking toward ... stripped of all he held dear, heartbroken to the point that it is withering and weakening him to the point that it is noticeable in his body. He is not dead ... but he has turned in pain even from his music ... beyond the hurdy-gurdy man, in sorrow.

"Die Post" considered in reverse with the beloved woman getting such terrible news, still would end the same way ... Mein Herz, Mein Herz! My heart, my heart, even after so long ago having climbed on, having foreseen where he would follow his choice of erring lights, while I could not!

And then it happened a second time in a week -- not a great beloved, but a respected colleague, whose company I left with a warning ... the upper-ups had tipped their hand as to their corruption, and I had pointed my colleague to where to find the evidence and act as he could to protect himself and those for whom he had far greater responsibility ... only for me to find out that he did not heed my warning because he was on his own level of corruption, only to be found out, stripped, and made the scapegoat for what the upper-ups were getting ready to do anyway!

My heart, my heart! Even with the voice of Herr Möll soothing what pain he very much can -- still, my heart, my heart!

My reaction to these two pieces of news was so intense that it physically manifested; I felt sick upon receiving the second, and then was sick and at times was in profound pain toward the end of last week. It took into this week for me to venture back into walking, into an calm silver-and-gold autumn day in which a second spring seemed to be disclosing itself gently to me ...

... and said nothing to me that should be feared about winter ...

... as I proceeded to Alta Vista Park, which was being blessed with moments of gold when I arrived ...

... and in such a moment, the portal of imagination opened, and a single bass line came sweetly purred through ... it was from Beethoven's beautiful Elegiac Song or, Elegischer Gesang.

The beauty was indeed welcome ... but it was a slightly strange thing to hear... Beethoven wrote it for a friend who had lost his darling wife, and about her it is said, at the beginning and the end: "Gently you lived your life, [so] you have full-ended." She was a kind and tender woman, and had been taken away from the world because she was "too holy for the pain!" This was Beethoven's way of showing the other side of the matter, from Heaven's perspective, as it were ... separation brings suffering, but for the one taken away to a blessed eternity, there is no more residence in the place of pain ... the time there is full-ended, as expressed in the world vollendet for completion in German. The implication in Elegisher Gesang is that the time was spent well and rewarded.

It then came to me from Winterreise... obviously, the song cycle ends, but for the main character, one cannot ever say that he has full-ended ... he is forever frozen -- literally -- in the last of his long series of bad decisions, linked to the company of someone else who also is in the last of his bad decisions, with horrific consequences ever the next thing on the agenda if somehow the scene were to "unfreeze." Finished? Absolutely. Vollendet, in the tender commendatory sense that Beethoven describes? Never.

There was a lesson in the juxtaposition, and thus, the Ghost of Musical Greatness Past had very gently introduced it, for it was him of course purring that bass line through the portal of imagination to remind me of one of Beethoven's most beautiful choral pieces. He let me float on that beauty through more golden minutes in the park...

... and then announced his presence by quietly singing the song again in the melody line, just an octave down. That was so beautiful I thought for a moment my own full end was overtaking me, for the gold and warmth seemed to be increasing around me to the point that surely I would soon be far past the pain of the world ... but no, just a little while in the Knockout Zone to rest from the pain ... not home yet, but a nice little vacation...

I opened my eyes still resting on the hill; he had carried me to my favorite seat.

*"Vielen Dank," I said. "This is the first day I have begun to feel well in the last several, and that helped me."

"It was the first necessity," he said. "Last week you attained levels of pain not seen since April 2023, first emotional, and then physical. Not on my watch, so long I am permitted to be part of your journey, will you remain at such levels. Rest with me even a while longer, for the lesson today is gentle, but of great depth."

So I did, and, sometime later, he continued.

"Your heart remains tender, Frau Mathews, verging as you are now on age 45. You did not rejoice in vindication; you did not find satisfaction in the fall of two who discounted your concern and ignored your wise warnings. It is too much for you to even imagine the pain those two are now in, and to reconsider that you know so many of the steps by which they could have turned from the path to where they now, but refused to do so."

He paused.

"And yet, all that you will experience is the imagination and consideration of what is their constant experience -- because you went as you are called, you shall never know what it is to live in their pain, day after day, into the future."

That staggered me internally, and he gave me all the time I needed to process that.

"I can't even fathom it," I said. "One day made me sick."

"I said to you that this is a deep lesson, Frau Mathews. I observe with deep satisfaction that you have picked up a lesson from the past to help yourself to understand it: if you were inserted as a character in Winterreise, you could only be the daughter, safe, protected from all of the doom of his journey, because, even as it can be inferred about the daughter in Winterreise, you are obedient and dutiful in the will of your Father, Who, although unseen as in Winterreise, denied you that journey in order to give you a far better future."

He paused, and then shook his head for a moment.

"Mein geliebtes Blumenkind," he said, his voice full and shimmering, "so strong, and yet, so delicate, you simply do not know the love that presses back of me for you, what desire to protect you, and what joy in your obedience because not only have you been spared going on all the terrible journey it made you ill to even hear of, but can now hear that
even though those you cared about have indeed fallen very far, they and you are not at the end of anything, yet."

I pondered this in light of the fact that he was glowing up profoundly in his joy while still calm.

"Well, none of us are actually dead, yet," I said.

"Hold that thought in your ever-loving heart for a moment while I explain why I came with Beethoven's rare beauty of a consolation. At bottom, the word heilig as it can be put forth in English as holy and transliterated as highly gives us two aspects of the same thing: to be holy is to be set apart from evil, and to be set apart from evil, even in mortal imperfection in that, is a much, much higher plain. Now, who do we know that is a decade climbing past the corruption that has ruined
one, and a year past the corruption of the other?"

"The Highest and the Holiest called me apart, and thus I have been set, in going," I said.

"Set apart to the calling of the Highest and Holiest -- I told you heilig gets you both words in English!* -- and thus, set apart from all the agony of walking the other way," he said.

Then, at last, the peek of his smile, like the peek of sunshine that suddenly made its appearance.

"You and that stage timing!" I said, and started laughing, which brought his smile all the way out.

"Now, you know I'm going to have you laughing, Frau Mathews -- someone else other than a basso profondo buffo would have been chosen if that were not the assignment," he purred. "Get all of that, my dear -- you need it!"

After that, he went on.

"Consider this, Frau Mathews, for your loving heart requires hope and shall have it here: you would reach back if you could like Franz-Josef Selig's Commendatore, but it is too far to reach by the time that happens in Mozart's Don Giovanni.

"Yet, there is still One Whose reach is long enough, and since there is no news that has come to you that says these men have made a permanent rejection of all good and the climb to it, you can simply ask for mercy where it may be found while you climb on. You cannot go back and fix these men or their consequences ... but the future is still unknown, and you need not harden your heart to it or them. You can still bless them, Frau Mathews, and ask the same One Who has called you to a brighter path to call them back, and give them the willingness, this time, to fully listen. Rock bottom is sometimes where men get past their pride at last ... so it could be, Frau Mathews, that you have heard this news while they are in the place from which they can at last be blessed as you have been, and all you need to do, to complete your own healing, is ask.

"Oh thou good and faithful echo," I said, "for the healing and restoration of Job began when he prayed to the Lord for the friends who had hurt him so, to get them out of the predicament of mischaracterizing the Lord as they had ... and YES, my former associates are in that pickle!"

"Hard place to be in," he said, and shivered. "I am a faithful echo because I dare not be otherwise, but not everyone gets the understanding at the same time!"

"Indeed," I said. "There is a special horror to the second case because of it."

"And so, news came to you not to leave you in the contemplation of the cold winter prelude to hell of Winterreise, but ... well, it is time to have Anton Bruckner teach through his music, Bruckner who never asked on high for mercy without writing to us that mercy surely came down to meet him -- the Kyrie of his D minor mass is a most remarkable testimony."

I listened to the opening ... its rising choral line, its majestically descending strings and brass in response, the serenity of even its moments of sorrow in contrast to the serenity of its brighter moments ... the confidence in the Presence ... and my heart was lifted from its sorrow ... I heard what I could do ...

"For this has not come to you for sorrow, Frau Mathews, although sorrow must come with it ... this came to you that you, you who cannot gloat in a moment of vindication, you made ill to see the evil you tried so hard to turn others from come upon them, you who love your beloveds still, can still speak blessing into their lives, even now. The one who walks in love, and thus with love's resources from on high, can always ask that others be blessed ... or, let Bruckner tell it even better, on the quietly dramatic journey of the Benedictus of his D minor mass ll the way back around to love and peace."

The "Benedictus" ... the speaking of blessing, generally still done with prayer before parting from one another in many Christian denominations ... I supposed it was not too late, a year and a decade later ...

"Of course not, Frau Mathews. It is known on high how you are, and how you are called ... all you ever wanted to do was bless these beloveds, so they are given back to you in this way to do just that for them. Intercede for them, in their pain, on high, as Job did for his friends. It is not yet too late, and sometimes, on Earth when you have done all you can, that is exactly where you are supposed to be for the One Who calls you to be trusted to do all that He will, and so you pair your love for them with His, in the proper order."

A new vista opened to my heart, just then.

"Remember this, mein geliebtes Blumenkind. It is said in English commonly that 'as long as there's life, there's hope.' This is because although mortal life is short, and fragile at its strongest, it everywhere can intersect with the reality that love is eternal ... so as long as there is life, there is hope!"

"Wait a minute!" I said. "You spent all this time telling me there is no bridge between my beloveds from our first trip to Blue Heron Lake -- and then we took the glowing green autumn walk at Blue Heron Lake and you showed me the bridge as too far below me to even consider!"

"I did," he said, a smile shining in his eyes and peeking at the corners of his mouth. "You dug in your heels and pushed back, over and over again, because you do know, in your heart of hearts, that love is eternal. I stood firm and let events develop, knowing that in due time, you would mature to understand that the separation was necessary, and be given the understanding to be able to love from distance when presence will lead to great harm -- and after all, Frau Mathews, I showed you this as Commendatore, who does not give up until 'l'ultimo momento!' -- the last moment! -- not until Don Giovanni is completely out of time!

"But you are not made of stone, mein geliebtes Blumenkind. We have had that lesson too ... you cannot stand that near to the flame and not be badly hurt. Not all things are for all people. You must walk as you are called ... but love is eternal. So, at long last I can tell you what your heart most has desired to hear ... ."

The smile on his face and in his voice came out like the sun long awaited behind dreary clouds.

"You do not have to give up on anyone you have ever loved, Frau Mathews, for as long as there is life, there is still hope. Despair is not for you, for you did not follow an erring light to that valley -- you are in the light on the highway above and can ask from there that it be shown to anyone and they be given strength to climb, for if you were lovingly brought, anyone can be! You have been brought up high enough to know the wonders of the heights, and who better to ask that others be brought up, from that position of strength?

"Now you have been brought up too far to be able to afford getting too close to the edge and slipping back... there is no bridge! But as you said to me more than once, there is nothing wrong with fixing ropes and leaving good signs. Those who are called to climb may well use them in the time of the One Who calls!

"So then, continue on your way, and be comforted at last, Frau Mathews, for you now have grown to know how even at distance, you may still love and have assurance that it is not in vain for you to do so as you are called ... you are distant from many now, but not so far that you cannot do love's work for them whenever you think to mention them to the One Who called you, and rely upon Him to undertake while you remain protected and safe."

Indeed, this was a new view upon the world, and upon my life, that was welcome to my heart.