RE: Hypersensitivosaurus and Cold Turkey - To coffee or not to coffee? that is the question.
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Dearest Vincent! I feel you! I'm embarked on a re-taking-up of caffeine recently, after abstaining for around a month from any tea. Like others, I am HYPERsensitive to caffeine, and have terrible accumulative effects in my nervous system from even one cup of black tea per day - and one coffee per day would give me a mega illness within less than a week.
HOWEVER. Everything is medicinal, if used consciously - or in ceremony/ care-full use, in harmony with our holistic life.
This is where it gets VERY complex, our use of conventional drugs, to 'stimulate' or 'improve' our mental health. The 'benefits' can be myriad, at least in the short-term, and it might be possible to ignore the accumulated deeper/ wider/ holistic effects - until they bite us really hard waaay down the line.
Then comes discernment: what is the caffeine interfering with? Is it truly and wholly beneficial, or is it compensating temporarily for a general lack of vitality and inspiration, whilst creating problems for the future?
In my own experience, I've played with addiction here and there: cannabis from early teen in rural Scotland and psilocybin mushrooms which grew wild on my island, LSD and other city-available drugs as a student on the mainland; tobacco and caffeine, sugar and artificial foods in various cultures:
I read about addiction and culture in Terence McKenna's book Food Of The Gods when I was young, which gave me a good grounding especially in what the socially-accepted drugs were doing to us. And Elena & Alessandro's Wholistic Vibrations work e.g. their Junkies, Opiates, Medicine Plants, & Pharma revelations - helped me navigate later on as I slowly became more awake sentiently and wholistically - and trusted my perceptions and experiments in how substances - esp. caffeine - affect my whole being...
Particularly, recently, having had some big growth spurts in my spiritual development, and having come away from caffeine... coming back to it, I have several new layers of awareness about what its use is doing in/ to me - and I seem to have more capacity to discern whether or not it 'traps' me in controversy/ contraction!
Firstly, the imprint of the caffeine seems similar to my experience of nicotine: it stamps particular mantras in the mind - and a monkey mind without discipline (or an ego separated and having lost harmonious control of their mind) will accept these phrases as 'fact' or as too strong a 'suggestion' to resist. Again, this has a lot to do with our education system and how we are forced to submit to 'higher' authorities who are suppressing us with ulterior motives.... The mantra aspect is important, as once I can separate a mantra from my unconscious, I can simply discourse with it, rather than it commanding me. I can reason and rebutt - counter-offer a better solution.
I've also found a great deal of emotional-psycholigical and vibrationally imprinted stuff swilling around behind my use of caffeine, sugar and processed/ convenience foods in particular - the fear of letting go and Trusting Nature, of Trusting God even, to support me and give freely of nutriment and sustenance in right timing. Getting into foraging and natural teas/ tree teas, spices and herbs, has helped bridge this fear and bring my spirit back down into my body.
Recently, taking in tea daily and an occasional coffe-with-ginseng, I've been able to see how the caffeine NUMBS my holistic awareness. It has even contributed strongly to my disassociating from being pregnant. This might seem like a negative spiral, HOWEVER, it was consciously stepped into, as I was dealing with multiple loss and in particular with the loss of a very complicated relationship with a family matriarch - whilst gestating, and on top of my very slow recovery from a traumatic and abusive childhood - the tension and intensity of caffeine consumption has been a welcome 'distraction' from my overwhelming feelings - which felt like they might destroy me (or my child). This confrontation of the destructive female force/ Kali energy was enabled by my using caffeine almost like an armour. A means of slowing down the catharsis, as many things are speeding up in our reality right now!
Yes, caffeine is a strong drug, and it has many uses, and we all have unique relationship with it. Our relationship has the power to be co-creative rather than oppressive, certainly. But ultimately, caffeine will only have a negative power over us if there is something in our fundament or foundations which wants to be witnessed/ made more lucid. It is an incredible tool to force lucidity, I feel - and to create emphasis on our external physical (and front-lobe thinking) which in turn can help us weather an internal storm or a strained time when we are trying to integrate big trauma/ aspects of self from which we have been ostracised.
I hope this helps, and I probably should've posted it as a separate article, as it got long! xx Much love @vincentnijman !
Love all of the above and there's a lot I can relate to, also a lot of valuable new information to navigate so thank you!
I actually feel that you posting about the above ( if you feel like it and whenever you can muster up the time and energy ) or perhaps podcasting on this theme would be extremely valuable for whomever stumbles upon it.
Much love!
xxx