I Cannot Stand The Feeling V2
by @manuel78 on Manuel
View my bio on Blurt.media: https://blurt.media/c/manuel78 
lyrics by me plus lyric generator
story based off lyrics
The Weight of Your Absence
The silence in the loft was a new and terrible thing. For Leo, it wasn't an absence of sound, but a specific, haunting presence—the absence of her sound. The soft hum of Mara sketching late at night, the clink of her spoon against a teacup, the sigh she made when she finally sank into the sofa after a long day. Now, there was only the low, warm thrum of the city through the windows, a poor substitute for the music of her.
He stood in the middle of the room, a man adrift in his own home. She was only gone for a week—a prestigious artists' retreat in New Mexico, an opportunity too good to pass up. He’d encouraged it, celebrated it. But now, on the third day, the theoretical missing had become a physical condition.
A raw, breathless thought pushed its way to the surface of his mind.
I don't know what it is you did to me.
It was the truth. He couldn't isolate the moment or the method. She hadn't cast a spell; she had simply been Mara, and in her steady, brilliant presence, he had been irrevocably rewired. His happiness had become entangled with hers. His peace was found in the rhythm of their shared life.
I cannot go a second without your love, your touch you see.
It felt childish, dramatic. But it was visceral. The seconds piled up, each one a tiny, silent weight. He missed the casual brush of her hand passing him a book, the solid comfort of her back against his as they slept, the way she’d absently play with his hair while they watched a movie. Without these points of contact, he felt untethered, a balloon straining against a string that was now thousands of miles long.
He pictured her walking out the door, her backpack slung over one shoulder, turning to blow him a kiss. Every time you walk out of my sight, my heart begins to beat it feels so heavy. It was a precise description. His heart didn't race; it labored, as if pumping something thicker than blood, a syrup of longing. I miss everything about you, dear. Not just her smile or her voice, but the totality of her: the way she furrowed her brow in concentration, the specific scent of her shampoo on his pillow, the sound of her arguing amiably with the cat.
The feeling built from a ache to a desperate, gnawing need. He paced, the emptiness of the loft amplifying his solitude. A slow, tribal drumbeat of loneliness seemed to thump in his chest, keeping time with his steps. I cannot stand being away from you, he admitted to the silent room, his internal voice taking on a gritty, strained intensity. I feel a sadness falling deep within my heart. It wasn't a surface emotion. It was a stone dropped into a well, sinking into a cold, dark place inside him he only noticed when she wasn't there to fill it with light. Oh my, I cannot stand the feeling, I need you back.
But then, the rational part of his brain, the part that loved her enough to let her go, would intervene. It spoke with a clearer, more powerful tone, cutting through the fog of self-pity.
I know you're coming back to me, he would remind himself, and the certainty was a lifeline. This was temporary. She was at an airport, or in a desert studio, thinking of him too. But I miss the company! It was the simplest, purest truth. He missed his best friend. His partner in quiet contentment and silly adventures.
The fantasy of her return would bloom, vivid and warm. I need your arms around me, dear, I want your kisses and arms so near! He could almost feel the relief of it, the way his tense shoulders would drop the moment he pulled her into a hug at the airport. So you may hold me near! It was a plea and a promise, all in one.
To calm himself, he’d do the things that connected him to her. He’d make tea the way she liked it, just to smell the spices. He’d look at her paintings on the walls. And in these moments, a softer, more tender understanding would surface.
Everything about you makes me smile. The messy pile of books by her side of the bed. Her bizarrely organized spice rack. The way she could name every constellation but consistently forgot where she left her keys. But the one thing I cannot live without is you, oh you. The specificities were wonderful, but they were branches. She was the tree. She was the root system.
He’d look at a photograph of them, her face smudged with paint, his hair a mess from the wind. I love all of you, even with your flaws, honey, no ones perfect. Her stubbornness. Her occasional tendency to worry a problem into dust. Her deep-seated fear of lobsters (it was irrational, but very real). These weren't imperfections he tolerated; they were threads in the fabric of her, and he loved the whole, complicated, beautiful tapestry.
One evening, feeling particularly low, he video-called her. The connection was bad, her image pixelating in the desert dark. She was tired but glowing, talking a mile a minute about the light, the space, the new techniques she was trying. But he could see a shadow in her eyes, a familiar self-doubt creeping in. "I don't know if any of this is any good," she sighed, the thrill of the retreat fading into nocturnal insecurity.
He leaned closer to the screen, his love cutting through the digital static, becoming a raw, soaring conviction in his chest.
Remember who you are, he said, his voice fierce with belief. An amazing woman inside and out!
She blinked, a small smile touching her lips.
If you weren't awesome, I would walk on out, he continued, the words a joke and the absolute truth. But you're amazing the way you are!
He saw her sit up a little straighter, the shadow in her eyes receding. His declaration wasn't just comfort; it was a reflection of the truth he saw every day, a truth that distance couldn't dim.
After the call, the missing returned, but it was different now. It was no longer a desperate hunger; it was a focused yearning, a testament to what they had. The thought of her return wasn't just about ending his loneliness; it was a celebration of her.
So please don't change a thing about yourself! he thought, the sentiment swelling into a powerful, protective chorus in his mind. The retreat could inspire her, but it didn't need to fix her. She wasn't broken. She was his Mara.
The longing became specific, sensory. Babe I need your touch upon my skin, I need your lips, I require all of you! It was a full-bodied need, a hunger for the complete experience of her presence. Not a diluted version, not a polished artiste, but the woman who snored softly and stole the blankets and whose laughter was his favorite sound in the world.
The emotional storm slowly settled. The frantic energy of missing her mellowed into a deep, steady certainty. He lay in their bed, on his side of it, staring at her empty pillow.
The noise of the city, the whirl of his own thoughts, everything faded into a soft, intimate quiet. Only the fundamental, resonant truth remained.
He reached out and placed his hand on her pillow, a poor proxy for her presence.
I Love You Hunn nayyyyy ..... he whispered into the darkness, the silly, drawn-out pronunciation of her nickname a private language of affection. The whisper held everything: the missing, the pride, the need, the unwavering admiration.
... for all of time.
The words weren't a promise for the future, but a description of a present, eternal fact. Her absence had weight, a heavy, palpable gravity. But the love was the stronger force. It was the anchor, the compass, and the welcome light he knew would guide her back home.
- lyrics
[Intro: Atmospheric Pulse]
(Deep,warm bass synth; a soft, ethereal harp; crisp heartbeat drum)
[Verse 1:
I don't know what it is you did to me.
I cannot go a second without your love,your touch you see.
Every time you walk out of my sight,my heart begins to beat it feels so heavy.
I miss everything about you,dear.
[Pre-Chorus: Building Desperation]
I cannot stand being away from you,I feel a sadness falling deep within my heart .
Oh my,I cannot stand the feeling, I need you back.
[Chorus: Soaring & Triumphant]
I know you're coming back to me,but I miss the company!
I need your arms around me,dear, I want your kisses and arms so near!
So you may hold me near!
[Verse 2: Tender Confession]
Everything about you makes me smile.
But the one thing I cannot live without is you,oh you.
I love all of you,even with your flaws, honey, no ones perfect.
[Bridge: Cathartic Declaration]
Remember who you are,an amazing woman inside and out!
If you weren't awesome,I would walk on out, but you're amazing the way you are!
[Chorus: Soaring & Triumphant]
So please don't change a thing about yourself!
babe I need your touch upon my skin,I need your lips, I require all of you!
[Outro: Intimate Resolution]
I Love You Hunn nayyyyy ..... for all of time