Chains-Off-My-Soul
by @manuel78 on Manuel
View my bio on Blurt.media: https://blurt.media/c/manuel78 
- Choosing Myself
Hey there . Pull up a chair and let us just sit with this for a moment . I want to walk you through a season of life that so many of us know intimately . It is the season where you finally look in the mirror and realize the person staring back has been shrinking for years . You tell me i dont want you i should have never changed . Those words used to echo in my head like a broken record . They were spoken in a tone that sounded like care but felt like control . And well honey remind you its the way you treated me yesterday . That was the quiet truth I kept swallowing . It was never about who I was becoming . It was always about how you needed me to stay small so you could feel big .
I remember the exact morning everything shifted . The sunlight was cutting through the blinds in thin golden lines . The coffee was brewing . The house was quiet . And for the first time in a long time . I was not tiptoeing . I was not bracing for the next criticism . I was just breathing . And in that stillness . I realized im no longer the person that you pushed around . It was not a loud declaration . It was a quiet settling in my bones . Like a heavy coat I had been wearing for years finally slipping off my shoulders . I looked at the keys on the counter . I looked at the half packed bag by the door . And I knew im claiming my freedom my sanity theres no stopping me now . That sentence did not feel reckless . It felt like oxygen .
For so long . I had mistaken endurance for loyalty . I had confused silence with peace . But peace does not ask you to erase yourself . Peace does not demand you shrink your voice to fit into someone else's comfort zone . I was so done im so free your chains cant keep me down . Those chains were never made of iron . They were made of expectations . Of guilt . Of the quiet belief that if I just tried harder . If I just loved louder . If I just bent a little further . Things would finally be okay . But they never were . Because the goalposts kept moving . And I was running on a track that led nowhere .
any longer i will not stay i will not beg . That was the boundary I drew in the quiet of my own mind before I ever spoke it out loud . It was the moment I stopped negotiating for my own worth . I will not be your slave day after day . Not emotionally . Not mentally . Not in the way I dimmed my light to keep you comfortable . today i rise from my fall broke the chains lifted off the ground . And rising did not look like a movie scene . It looked like folding laundry with steady hands . It looked like making a cup of tea and actually tasting it . It looked like texting my sister and saying I am coming over . It looked like choosing myself without apology .
the pieces you broke are mending today . That is what healing actually looks like . It is not a sudden transformation . It is a daily practice . It is waking up and choosing to speak kindly to yourself . It is noticing when the old guilt tries to creep back in and gently setting it down . putting my self first no longer you just me and my family . That was the realignment . My energy was no longer a public utility . It was a private garden . And I was finally the one holding the watering can . pieces returning back into their place . The hobbies I abandoned . The laughter I suppressed . The boundaries I forgot how to draw . They were all slowly clicking back into position . Like a mosaic that had been scattered across the floor . Finally being gathered . Finally being seen .
peace within my heart my resting place . That phrase became my anchor . When the old voices tried to whisper that I was being selfish . I would place a hand over my chest and feel the steady rhythm of my own breath . That was enough . That was everything . I did not need external validation to prove I was worthy of calm . I just needed to stop mistaking chaos for connection . the pieces i lost while i was with you why did you tear them out . I asked myself that question so many times . Not with bitterness . But with honest curiosity . Why had I allowed my edges to be sanded down? Why had I handed over the keys to my own emotional house? The answer was simple . I had loved you once but you failed to see . And that failure was never mine to carry .
glad im no longer with you from this day forward ill love my self . That was the vow I made to the mirror . Not a dramatic oath . Just a quiet promise . take care of me no one like you will ever take hold . Because no one else would ever be allowed to grip my joy that tightly again . I was learning to hold my own hand through the hard days . I was learning to celebrate the small wins . I was learning that self love is not a destination . It is a daily practice of showing up for yourself even when it feels unfamiliar . i loved you once but you failed to see the love that i gave every single day . I gave it freely . I gave it patiently . I gave it even when it was not returned in kind . And that says everything about my capacity to care . And absolutely nothing about my obligation to stay .
you treated me like nothing tore my heart away . That was the hardest truth to sit with . Not because it was complicated . But because it was so simple . When someone shows you who they are through consistent actions . You do not need to decipher hidden meanings . You just need to believe them . so today i chose me every single day . Not as a punishment to you . But as a promise to myself . good bye to my past good riddence to you . Those words were not spoken in anger . They were spoken in release . Like exhaling a breath I had been holding for years . The past does not get to dictate my future . Not anymore .
i hope you learn but we know you wont . That was the quiet acceptance that freed me the most . I stopped waiting for an apology that would never come . I stopped rehearsing conversations that would never happen . dont try to beg dont cry at my feet . Because the dynamic had already shifted . I was no longer standing in the shadows waiting for scraps of attention . I was standing in my own light . your hollow words cannot reach me . Not because I had built walls . But because I had built boundaries . And boundaries are not about keeping people out . They are about keeping yourself safe .
i gave you the chances but you failed to change . That was the final ledger entry . The accounting was complete . There were no more extensions . No more second chances disguised as patience . so i took my heart put it back in place . I literally imagined it . I imagined gathering all the scattered fragments . The trust . The hope . The quiet dreams I had tucked away . And I placed them gently back into my chest . They fit differently now . Not because they were broken . But because they were mine again . your no longer my one you failed to be my only . That realization did not feel like loss . It felt like clarity . I was no longer waiting for you to become someone you never intended to be . I was finally allowing myself to want what I actually deserved .
so im out of here to a better place . That better place was not a geographic location . It was a state of being . It was mornings without dread . It was evenings without walking on eggshells . It was conversations that did not require translation . It was silence that did not feel heavy . i wish you the best but far away from me . That was not cruelty . That was self preservation . I could genuinely hope you found peace . Growth . Clarity . I just knew it could not happen in my living room . It could not happen in my emotional space . good bye my horrid past may you rest in peace . I meant that sincerely . The past served its purpose . It taught me what I would no longer tolerate . It showed me where my boundaries had been crossed . It prepared me for the life I was finally stepping into .
excuse me now im free to be my self again . Those were the words I whispered as I closed the door behind me . Not with a slam . Not with drama . Just with quiet certainty . The air outside felt different . Lighter . Cooler . Real . I walked down the steps . I felt the pavement under my shoes . I heard the distant sound of traffic . I saw the sky stretching out in every direction . And for the first time in a very long time . I was not thinking about what I needed to fix . I was not thinking about what I needed to say . I was just existing . Fully . Completely . Without apology .
If you are reading this and you are standing in that same quiet moment . Where the old patterns are cracking . Where the weight is finally becoming too heavy to carry . I want you to know something . You are not broken for wanting out . You are not selfish for choosing peace . You are not failing by walking away . You are succeeding at the most important task of all . Preserving yourself . The road ahead will have its own challenges . Healing is not linear . Some days will feel light . Some days will feel heavy . And that is okay . What matters is that you keep choosing yourself . What matters is that you keep returning to your own center . What matters is that you remember your worth is not negotiable . It is not something you earn through endurance . It is something you claim through presence .
So breathe . Step forward . Trust the quiet voice that has been whispering the truth all along . You deserve a life that feels like home . You deserve relationships that feel like shelter . You deserve to wake up and recognize yourself in the mirror . Not as a reflection of someone else's expectations . But as the author of your own story . The chains are already broken . The pieces are already mending . The light is already waiting . You just have to keep walking toward it . One steady step at a time . You have got this . And I am cheering you on . Always .