Age is a funny thing. One minute you're in some squat party or at a rave in a forest in your early 20's and dancing til dawn and next minute you're a grandma making a vegan roast with gravy in the kitchen trying to avoid stepping on your mother in laws dog. You wonder why your hips hurt and why that reflection in the window has grey hairs. But here's the rub - you ain't singing Elvis or Dean Martin, you're singing Cypress Hill to the dog.

^{'Don't wear beige - it'll kill you!' - Iris Apfel - Iris died at the grand old age of 108. I wonder what her fave tunes were?}

Darling Ruby, my mother in law's fox coloured Jack Russell, does have a way of getting under foot.

'When the shit goes down, you better be Ruby' I'm singing.

Jamie comes in and starts laughing. 'That's not incongruous at all', he says.

Okay okay, the lyrics might not be something Grandma River should be singing in the kitchen.

I told tha boyz get tha sawed off glock and tha rest of tha gats
As I strapped on tha bullet-proof vest
Boom! I think I got one to tha chest
Hot damn I didn't want to kill a man shit
I still stand tall with tha hill clan y'all better stand back
Niggas bout ta fall I'm comin' out blastin' like Yosemite
Sam get tha cheese an tha bread for tha ham
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready (when tha shit goes down)
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready (when tha shit goes down)
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready (when tha shit goes down)
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready (ya better be ready)

Got us thinking about old people's homes and what they put over the radio. It ain't going to be 'The White Cliffs of Dover' is it? We would have all lived through the '90's innit. What if they allowed you to choose the playlist for the day? Jamie thought 'Smack my Bitch up' would be a classic.

Or what about 'Cocaine Running around my Brain'?

Imagine turning up to play cards with this Granny and the nursing home is all singing:

… 'Cause I've cocaine running around my brain
I've cocaine running around my brain
I want to dig me soul brothers and soul sisters
I want you to hold me tight 'cause I'm out of sight and I'm dynamite
I've got cocaine running around my brain

That did send us off on a whole afternoon of songs with inappropriate lyrics from the Idles to Peep Tempel, but it is only #threetunetuesday brought to you by @ablaze, so three tunes it is.

Have you got some good songs with inappropriate lyrics for grandmas to sing in nursing homes?