Hold My Hand, We’re Going Into the Madness

It would be nice if that windmill were working. Turn that on and these noisy visitors fly back to the city.. 🙄

It's a public recreation area, I know, but that doesn't give you the right to talk and shout at the top of your lungs. What's with the shouting? The person you're talking to is right in front of you... is she deaf? 🙄

Anyway, that's not a good way to open the blog. Let me cut that out and give our man @ablaze a shoutout. I am late for #ThreeTuneTuesday, but I'm dropping it anyway! If you aren't part of this community yet, come and join us. It's fun, you get to listen to cool songs, hear stories about the artists, and get some fun facts about their songs too. So come on, don't be shy.

So, I have a week's break.. yay!

Went out to unwind.. up in the highlands..

It's not that I can't tolerate noise. Once in a while it's alright ...kids, yeah, that's actually cute. The giggles.. the laughter.. I love it.

But adults shouting for like... two hours? Is her throat still okay? The stamina..

"Hey Ellie, they are having fun," my conscience whispered.
I did not come here to have fun.. I came here for sanity.. to unwind..

"The minor inconvenience is always shown all over your face, lol," my cousin said.

They just know.

So we went to another part of the area.
I had to stay away from her, otherwise, I'd end up hurting her... and you know going to jail isn't really a good idea... not when my bucket is already full.

So, this is where they left me..

Insidious.. horror movie vibes.

"There's a woman in a white dress looking at you.. but since you like it quiet, stay here.. with her," they joked.

Swerving to another topic.

Did you see the Insidious trailer?

Coz I did NOT.. absolutely.. not... Nope.

The thing about horror is it wrecks your head..

The story goes like this..
The Ring.
Japanese horror movie.
Sadako coming out of the well..
Ok, I'm fine... it's just a movie.
Sadako coming out of the television.
Holy Mother of God.
Shit...
Found myself calling on all the saints I ever learned from ze religion and prayers class.

Enough of the flashbacks, now snapping back to reality.

So they left me here.. and went back to the zipline area.. coz well, I like it quiet..

I sat here quietly.. listening to my own thoughts..

They are just having fun.. what makes you angry?
Maybe they had a rough week too, and finally, they are smiling, they are laughing.

You see, the thing about self-awareness...
It's not always the others.

Sigh.

Still, so fucking annoyed by her shouting. We are in the highlands, so her voice echoes.. it reaches me despite being a few meters away.

Her shout is so overpowering that I can't even hear my conscience.....that bitch.

Zen is not working.

Reaching for my phone..
Headphones on..
Deep breath in...
Hit the play button.

What's up - 4 Non Blondes

Little backstory on how they came up with the name of their group aside from the fact that they were non-blondes..

"Don't touch the food, the dirty food."

Like what I said in my previous post, there's this stereotype about metal, rock, and punk enthusiasts.
Not all.. only people with a pea-sized brain.
Yeah, that's what you look like when you judge people on the surface.

Well.. I'm not only talking to you.. I am also talking to myself as I decode this frantic-shouting chipmunk over here. God, it's so annoying.

The nerves on my forehead are pulsating.

Linda Perry must have felt the same way as she wrote those lyrics in 10 minutes.. coz honestly.. I can also write lyrics full of cusses..

But let's move to the next song..

Bitch- Meredith Brooks

It's not her.. I know.. I am self-aware..
Am I just being a bitch?

Do you know that Meredith wrote these lyrics while PMSing?
Ah, that time of the month (I'm not talking about HIVE's artificial pump)

Yeah.. how wonderful.. I am on my second day.. that answers the annoyance I am feeling..

Women..
Men would spend their entire lives and expertise.. scientists, you know.. trying to understand women when we can't even understand ourselves despite the group work.

Hand In My Pocket - Alanis Morisette

Finally, some grounding song from Alanis.

Life has a way of fucking you over.. and surprising you with the next.

The cute dragon just got promoted..

I am not really after the title, but I love that I can choose my schedule.. got pretty good rates too.. ah.. that means I can now go shopping.

Well, my depressive state had me scrolling.. add to cart.. and.. broke my bank account last week.. no regrets...

There you go..

Oh, had a video call with my bestie too as I told her about this chipmunk. Her room is big, and so relieved to know she doesn't have a roomie, thank goodness.. coz that bitch is so messy..

My soul is healing.. I am feeling a little lighter these days.. plus I don't have to worry about writing lessons.

I can wake up late too..

And the best part.. I can cry and just let it out..

There's still some residue, but with the wonderful people around me.. I am getting by..

Thank you so much for keeping up with my madness

Ellie 💕