Preparing to pick up the music again, a daunting prospect.

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↑Image created for me from an original performance photo from a long time ago↑

My last performances were in the Spring of 2021. They were NOT a good shows.
I was unpracticed, my hands were stiff, my mind dulled by inactivity. And they insisted that (in the first one) that I wear a bloody mask! Keeping in mind I use a headset mic, so should the mask cover the mic? Or should the mic be outside the mask picking up my muffled voice?
The second, no mask but neither could I leave the stage area to wander and interact with my audience.
I've turned down many requests to come play since then. Until last week.
I have a booking to play through lunch at Charter Senior Living of Smyrna
I went there last week and played for a few minutes on THEIR piano, those that were eating lunch seemed to hardly notice me, and all the stiff fingers and dull memory were still extant, but I decided to go for it.
So I am booked to play again May first at noon for $150 (for the hour)
Yesterday, I gathered up my gear that was scattered between my house and my studio, connected things to be sure they were functioning (need batteries in a couple of things) and

LO!

It all was still functioning.
Now if I could get my brain and hands back.
It is truly daunting when I sit down to play, and songs I've played for YEARS from memory, no lyrics, no music... just me, I begin to play a given song and I either can't remember how it starts, or part way through I lose the thread and have to drop the song.
Both of these things are a disaster for a live performance.

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↑Original image from 2016↑
Many folks say to me: "why do you stress of this so much? You KNOW that most of them will not know you made any mistakes"
About playing in a memory care they say:
"You KNOW they won't remember what you played last time, so why do you worry?"
I'm sorry, I cannot make myself be that callous and cynical.
I WILL KNOW that I didn't do my best.
I often think my abilities have gone down the drain


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↑Image found online years ago↑

Now I have two weeks to be smoothing out my old material to go play for this group, and this activities director

(That's her on the left, from a LONG time ago)
I am filled with trepidation, anxiety yet hopefully looking forward to getting back in the saddle

This is me playing and singing, although you can't see me. I created this video. and recorded the music during a performance.
Not THIS performance

I will try my best to do a great job for this event, and hopefully I will be able to pick back up and make more folks happy, as well as make my bank account happy.
Updates as they come.



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12 comments
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Hello Jerry, I am happy to hear you have a gig, great money.

I’m sure you are well on your way with practicing and getting the kinks out, I know you enjoy entertaining, so throw caution to the wind and have a great show.

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Hi Robin, thanks for commenting, and thanks for the encouragement.

I just spent an hour online video with my VA Psychologist, HE is always trying to get me to see or act in a more positive way, but here's the thing.
It is nearly impossible for me to look at things in a positive way, when I am in pain, when I am alone, when I have no friends who want to spend time with me (unless I pay them)
I walk around my place thinking; "Oh man! I need to get this garage fixed so I have a place to work" then I turn around and see the garden that isn't getting planted and think "Damnit, those plants I bought are gonna die if I don't get them in the ground" then I see the potted plants from last year, the ones I can't pick up any longer, and think "Oh MAN! Those things are burning up in the sun, I need to get them moved back to the front"... in short, nothing gets done and I stay depressed.

I am HOPING, no I am Counting on this gig, good or bad to break me out of this cycle. The extra income would mean I could afford to pay people to come and help me do stuff

Love to you and @thebigsweed @farm-mom

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One foot in front of the other my friend, start each day as if its your last and find the beauty in just being alive.

Push yourself to do just one simple thing, enjoy your morning coffee and make a list of things to do then cross each off the list, it can be motivating.

I truly wish you a blessed day .

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Hello @jerrytsuseer

I know getting back to something you haven't done in a while can be a bit tricky but I know you will do great, be optimistic and when you get there don't just play, enjoy every minute of your performance, savor every moment and i sure as hell know that you will perform very well, so hang in there
!LUV

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@jerrytsuseer...


I will be honest... the first thing that came to mind?


You know it tickles me pink, that you have a gig lined up. Sure... it would be nice if you didn't have to think about the financial end. But you certainly are deserving of getting something for the energy you provide. I see what you do every day (no lol... I am not a creeper, flying over your place with a drone ahaha) but what I mean. Is the vibes you send to us. Whether at The Terminal... or through your posts. You know I have my own set of "insert your favorite crisis here" going on 24/7. But I also know that laughter is good medicine.

If anything... besides the monetary end. You'll create memories for those you are playing for... Some say "they won't remember"... but you know what? I don't agree. Just remember to be the awesome you, that you are to us here... then go do that there!! I look forward to seeing some of this energy in your jerry-on-demand channel. That's right, Ladies & Gentlemen... Jerry has his own Discord Server Channel at The Terminal... I have to get back to doing the multitasking, that I am so famous for... but before I go...


"I am HOPING, no I am Counting on this gig, good or bad to break me out of this cycle. The extra income would mean I could afford to pay people to come and help me do stuff"
Jerry The Piano Man


Just remember us... when you hit the big time. Oh, wait... you are already there... to many of us...

Love and Light brother...


You-see-we-are-here-as-far-as-I-can-tell-to-help-each-other_-our-brothers-our-sisters-our-friends-our-enemies.-That-is-to-help-each-other-and-not-hurt-each-other.Stevie-Ray-Vaughan-450x450.png
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!LUV
!LOLZ

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Wow, you actually get paid to play at assisted living places? I never got paid. But then again, I don't think I'm nearly as good a musician as you are. I can't memorize anything, and I can't sing and play at the same time. And no matter how much I practice, I always find a new mistake to make. I haven't played at the local assisted living facility for over a year. I just got so busy with the grandchildren, I couldn't seem to get there any more.

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