Aversion to commitment.

We just finished an impromptu four hour lecture with our head of department and every single one of us was exhausted. A friend(let's call her Sarah) and I walked out of class, discussing how much we craved the comfort our beds. We reached the staircase and in a split second, Sarah who was evidently more exhausted than myself pointed at a figure who sat on the stairs and said..

“Wongi, I'm using the other staircase”.

Before I could ask any question, Sarah bolted away to use the other staircase which was at the other end of the building. The longer route which felt even longer when one was exhausted.

I walked down the stairs and as I did, I made sure I took a good look at the figure who Sarah ran away from. The young man, who seemed harmless, was peacefully fiddling with his phone. He probably didn't have an idea of what was going on.

After sprinting across the building, Sarah eventually met up with me and I wondered where she got the energy for that very unnecessary exercise.

“Sarah, Why did you run away so fast?” I finally asked

She hesitated a bit before saying..

“The guy on the stairs and I were in a four year
situationship up until two weeks ago. I ended things and have been avoiding him since. I'm just trying to avoid the emotional rush that would follow when I come in contact with him.”

I didn't know what to say at that point but all I could think of was ‘situationships are the worst!’ because they are. Why aren't people decisive? More often than not, both parties in the situationship are head over heels for each other but are just too afraid to commit or maybe they have other reasons.

So they go on like nothing is wrong when deep down, they are suffering. Emotional instability can get really bad. In Sarah's case, she probably figured out that she couldn't keep up with the unnecessary emotional turmoil that accompanied situationships and so she opted out even when she clearly had deep feelings for the person in question.

If you love something, let it go. If it's truly yours, it would come back to you.

How true is this? Do the things or person in question always come back? Especially when there are so many people who would rather count the sand in a beach than make the first move. What if it's too late by the time they decide to come back? This particular quote makes me ask so many questions.

Conclusively, I think that it has some truth to it. Why? Cause I've seen high school sweethearts, who have been separated for years, return to each other. It's usually a very beautiful kind of love to witness but not so many people make it to this stage.

I've come to realise that humans would always be sensitive. Irrespective of how tough they look or pretend to look, there is always a little molecule of conscience within them. In such situations, the best approach would be discussing things out the other party. Many people are so worried about how the other party would react that they decide to leave things the way they are.

The worst that would happen is that the person wouldn't agree with you. This doesn't mean that the world ends here, it only means that closure has been gotten and at the end of the day you tried your best. Stifling our emotions and pretending to move on is never a good move and I say this from a place of experience.

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Love🤍

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