Motivational Mondays: FLY

Photos by the author, Deeann D. Mathews, February 18, 2025

I was recently on a longish walk through the quieter bits of Golden Gate Park on an "electrum" day ... that is, the sky was overcast with high clouds, giving it a silver cast, but the sun was coming through and sometimes quite brightly, adding gold ... electrum is an ancient alloy of gold and silver, and makes for remarkable photographs of winter and spring greenery.

I was walking through the Tree Fern Dell and rounding the Lily Pond -- no lilies yet, just a few pads, but we will see in the spring and summer -- when I sighted this bench that I was not fool enough to try to sit down for more than a minute, because it is just not cold enough in a San Francisco winter to kill the mosquitoes. One has to keep moving around any clear water more than half an inch deep!

However, I did stop for a little while, and risked a few bites because I noticed the plaque on the bench. The bench is a memorial of a special person.

"STEVEN NELSON KINGSLEY. Oct. 5, 1949 - March 12, 2002. All your life you were waiting to be free. FLY."

Mr. Steven Nelson Kingsley had not seen his 53rd birthday when he took wing from this earth. It is a stunning thought to consider. Whoever dedicated that bench must have loved him dearly ... to be able to be so unselfish as to celebrate the loss of one we would consider relatively young ... I am myself already 44, so that also was striking.

My mind went to what the story might be ... was Mr. Kingsley ill from birth? Was he one of those souls too gentle for the cruelty of this earth? He was not someone who took it into his own hands to go ... clearly he waited in a faith that informed him and those who loved him that death would free him to go into a better afterlife. I thought back into history ... how many known figures, in their private writings and conversations, expressed a longing that nothing in this earth would ever satisfy? I thought about my own Christian elders ... same longing ... and even of myself at 44, in this same cruel moment in history in the United States ... would I think it good to have great longevity, if there were not work before me I was called to do?

I cannot fully understand an entire life of waiting to be free ... as an African American, I know my enslaved ancestors would have known that quite well ... the Negro Spiritual often expresses this as well ... now, of course, the Lily Pond is no "Deep River," but the great contralto Marian Anderson can explain this better than I can.

Mr. Steven Nelson Kingsley must have lived a remarkable life, full of faith and hope, to have been so remembered. He, and those who loved him, are beyond my comprehension in the level of belief it takes to live 52 years and love 52 years, waiting to be free ... but as I walked on, the mosquitoes reminding me that it was time to walk while thinking, I was brought in mind to be grateful, and to do all that I am yet free to do with greater gratitude, from which gratitude great joy and energy would yet arise ... I do know what it is to fly on such an energy as that ... as a musician, and sometimes even here on Hive, writing, and laughing ... in fiction around here I am often quite the humorist, and communicate the joy I get from reconsidering the people I love and remixing them for a good story!

"FLY." A wish for Mr. Kingsley, in his memory, written as an imperative ... technically I have us reading other people's mail here, but I do it for the best intentions ... whatever we are free to do, we can do it with gratitude and FLY.

Of course, it may not be the moment for everyone to feel like flying while in this world while grief and depression are real ... there are times when all we can do with all the faith we have is wait in hope ... and if that is where we are, that is part of the journey ... sometimes, just staying ahead of the mosquitoes of life is enough to do, and that is OK, too ... sometimes, that is how we get down the runway, too, given long enough, to take off! If we are able just to keep going, to find the strength, there is room for gratitude even there to put just a little more wind under our wings ... but if this isn't the Monday for liftoff, just keep going!