𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮 - Thursday 24 July 2025

Though I did some serious rewiring already, I am starting to see how stuck I have been in that scarcity mindset.

Limiting myself for decades....

Because planning a future feels like a luxury when survival is the focus.

These posts are:

𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑒𝓉.
𝒯𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒.

For some reason, I can not really focus these last few weeks. I think I already wrote that it´s probably because there is so much I have to digest.

It´s as if I have been shown so much in such a short time that I now need to pause to make sense of it.
And it´s fine.
I am not in a hurry.
And I think I will have a bit more time soon.

After eighteen months of publishing two or three chapters a week, I think I am getting really close to the end of my second book.

Currently, it has 150 chapters, well, 150 posts, as posts are not as big as a standard chapter. But the end is near.
I know how it will play out, and in 10-15 more chapters, so could you.

This book, it has done so much for me already, and it´s not even finished. But it has shown me so many insights into myself, my past, and how I want to move forward.

It has helped me see some Traumas still there from many years ago, and I wrote way too much about the mother of my child. She does not deserve that honor, and I will edit it out later, at least large parts, but it was healing.

It was therapeutic seeing myself through my writer's eyes and provoking thoughts and insights I had never had before. Yes, a psychologist would probably have worked as well, but this is more fun for a boy who likes to do things his way.

I also noticed that I focus much more on what caused me pain, instead of joy.

Now, maybe that is what I want to feed my audience, as might drama digest better than joy. But the balance is a little off, so that will also be worked on in the edited version.

It might be that I have focused too much on the drama in the past; I am not sure about that.

Well, I sort of am. I always felt I was a pretty happy person, but I kept myself too busy to enjoy life as much as I should.

There is a time for everything, but a balanced mind is key for me going forward.

What would that look like?

Drama and Joy, Work and relaxing....are there any more?

I am sure there are, but let´s leave looking at that drama for tomorrow and now do some working and relaxing.

Yes, I need to work a bit more before I can start relaxing, but I will balance it well today.

Thank you for making it this far....for those who know me...or better, think they know me, this might have been a WTF moment.

For me, this is a WTF journey, but I finally know my destiny: Avalon.

Around 1200 AD, Geoffrey of Monmouth wrote that King Arthur was taken on a boat to Avalon by “nine sisters,” the eldest being Morgan le Fay.

Avalon, where the mists of the worlds are thin and time no longer reigns.

“The king was carried to the isle of Avalon to be healed of his wounds.”

According to legend, he did not return from Avalon, but he is prophesied to do so: Arthur is the "once and future king."

Ever since, poets and dreamers have chased that myth. I am a poet, a dreamer, a mystic, and a magician.

I will not chase the myth, I will recreate it just as she meant it to be.

Because over all these centuries, Avalon has grown, the word itself holds more power than the eyes of time can see.

The ancient Celtic legend, a sacred island of healing and immortality, shrouded in fog and guarded by priestesses.

In a quiet English village in 1897, a young writer named T.E. Wilburn sat beneath an old oak and scribbled in his journal:

“Avalon is not merely a place, it is the ache of the soul that remembers something purer than this world can offer.”

That line would later appear in his forgotten book Through the Mists, and inspire the chorus of a 1974 folk song by Rowan Shade:

“Sail away, sail away / To the isle where kings still breathe / Avalon, oh Avalon / My heart you never leave.”

To some, Avalon is paradise. To others, a metaphor for death, it might be both.

Even today, Avalon appears as a vivid symbol of hope after ruin, of wholeness beyond despair.

Avalon is more than a story.

Avalon is a compass for lost souls, pointing somewhere beyond the chaos of the world, to recovery, to rebirth, and reset.

And like Arthur, those willing will all encounter the boat to take them there.