𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮 - Saturday 16 August 2025

Though I did some serious rewiring already, I am starting to see how stuck I have been in that scarcity mindset.

Limiting myself for decades....

Because planning a future feels like a luxury when survival is the focus.

These posts are:

𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑒𝓉.
𝒯𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒.

I am starting to see a pattern, because why would that boy who went to so much after choosing to face life without guidance, make a similar choice at 18?

Because he did.

By 18, that same boy was in a very different developmental place than when he was 13.

Legally, I was now an adult, with my brain still maturing but much further along in judgment and self-regulation.

I chose to leave home and explore a whole new province. A place where I did not know anyone, alone again at 18. Saying goodbye to the second safe haven I created.

What drove that decision?
Why would I make myself go through that again?

Late adolescence is marked by a strong urge to define one’s life outside parental influence. In my case, I had that feeling since I was thirteen
At 18, I had to see who I was without what was left of the “safe haven.”

The unstructured exposure to the outside world at 13 gave me confidence in navigating unfamiliar settings, and I felt ready to leave and to tackle bigger challenges.

I felt stifled in the nest, eager to break out into full adulthood.
Home felt too safe and restrictive for too long. A study out of reach of the web called home sounded like finally being able to breathe.

But what caused this desire to show myself (and others) that I can survive and thrive alone.

Was it purely Romantic idealism?
The belief that reinvention happens when I “start fresh” somewhere new.

Leaving home at 18 to explore a whole new province is usually a blend of seeking freedom, testing capability, and chasing personal growth.

This time, I was more aware of the world beyond my window. I heard the call of freedom for years, and finally, the road to freedom revealed itself.

Did the experience I had at 13 prepare me to succeed, or would it stains make sure I would fail now that all safety was off?

Thank you for making it this far....for those who know me...or better, think they know me, this might have been a WTF moment.

There are many sides to all of us, some sides we hide, even from ourselves.
I can be an opinionated little prick, a loving father, or simply a lost soul.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.”
— William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Jim Morrison named The Doors after this concept. I agree that reality is filtered through our limited perceptions. But we can Break On Through to the other side.

"There are things known and things unknown, and in between are the doors."
— Jim Morrison

Our minds filter & reduce everything to a digestible and categorizable size, but in the process, we lose sight of the infinite abundance that surrounds us.