STV - The Not-So-Grown-Up Perspective

I know, I know you were all hoping for the next Sunday School Session where I uncover some mystic shit coming from ancient biblical and gnostic texts. But, and there is my big butt again that poo takes a hell of a lot of research.

---

Really a post like that easily takes 4 hours of research.

And another couple of hours of writing.

No, I know nobody cares about that and neither do I. I write them because they are awesome, and everything that is awesome is worth doing.

Everything awesome is worth doing

But doing takes time, and time is a funny thing. When we start our lives we can´t wait to grow up. And once we grow up we wish we were kids again.

The adult view on life is not always that what we expected it to be when we were kids. In all honesty, I don´t want to be a kid again being ruled by parents and teachers.

What I do want is to be able to be a kid again and live in the moment. I think even as a kid I was not the best in living in the moment. I still thought about the consequences and risks of certain actions but way less than I do know.

To Go Where No Kid Has Gone Before

As A kid I would wander where no kid had wandered before and got lost. I was brought home by an elderly couple, why I ever got in the car with them I don´t know. I guess back then you thought that kidnappers looked like actual bad guys, not grey-haired pensionados.

I probably did a lot more stupid things without considering the risks, but we are not here to talk about me and myself bringing a friend back to where we parked our bikes before we went tripping in the forest. As I knew the forest best and the rest of the crew were too far out of their mind I was like: "Cool, I´ll bring you back."

And I did, but then I needed to find the group of friends back, at 3 AM in a huge forest near the dunes, while being under the influence of mind-altering substances. Uhu, smart move Rambo, because that is what I remember feeling like Rambo running through the forest jumping over tree trunks, sliding down hills at the speed of light. While I knew, you should never be alone when you are under that type of influence,

Yeah, great stuff happened when we were young...

So what made me think about this, or who made me do it?

It was her, yes she again.

It was her story and her pics, well her son´s pictures that she monetized ;) that made me wonder.

They Made Me Think

I wondered how as a kid you accept the things around you as normal and how your focus is often aimed at the things you are planning to achieve.

While nowadays I marvel at the fact that I am able to witness this moment in time. To see beauty and grandeur in the non-everyday things I would take for granted as a kid.

At the same time, I am so far away from being in the moment.
I feel like I am on the outside looking in.

I am looking.
I am Making Memories.
But I am not truly there.

Through The Eyes Of A Child

I looked at the picture of the castle, it looked amazing and it made me think of a holiday long ago with my dad when we by accident ended up in a German city with a historic city center.

I didn´t know I had that memory. As a kid, the only thing I remembered was being hungry and waiting till we finally found a place to eat while Dad and my stepmom wandered around appreciating the architecture.

Today I see the architecture in those pictures, and it recalls my lost memories. But I never looked at the architecture back then I thought, I was just hungry.
Now that castle brings back the memories of that historical city center, while I can´t remember what the Freckle we ate that afternoon.

I know that you have all these courses on how to live in the moment, and I tried that and if I try harder I know I can, but that is not what it is about.

There is a reason why as a kid we live in the moment and as an adult, we are on the outside looking in.

The shift in perspective is part of growing up. As a kid, you want immediate experiences, instant gratification as in food when you're hungry.

As you grow older your mind turns more to an abstract way of thinking, you get the tendency to reflect and anticipate based on previous experiences. Probably because as a kid we messed up big time, we get a bit more careful when we are older, but I often wonder if I have not grown too careful.

A lifetime of experiences

Yes, a lifetime of experiences created some awareness, others might want to call it wisdom, but what is wise?
Yes, the shift from living in the moment as a child to being more observant and reflective as an adult is a natural part of getting older, but why so serious?

Maybe I am having another midlife crisis, how many of those can one have?
It´s not that I am planning to get myself a motorbike, or an even younger girlfriend next time it´s a bit different.

I do feel like I want to do things differently, to be less abstract and less cautious. But I think it has to do with two major things.

Many years ago I was this lovely irresponsible DJ living for the kicks, these past 20 years I had to grow up and become an adult.
Not sure if I liked that too much, it kinda still feels like a necessary evil, while now it seems that period is coming to an end.

The responsible adult

The responsible adult is no longer needed now my son has moved to the other side of the ocean, the dog is on his last legs, and all the debt I built up over the years is paid off. It looks like there is a new phase in life on the horizon, or it´s just my midlife crisis reflecting the emptiness of my mind.

I wonder if, in that new phase, I will be able to combine the kid and adult perspective. To still appreciate the abstract beauty, while at the same time not having to be occupied with all the risks heading my way and all the costs I might not be able to pay.

To not have to worry about being home on time, to boldly go where I would not have gone before.

The hardest part will probably be the fact that I no longer have to worry about money. Now I am not a millionaire just yet, but I also no longer have debt and I actually am building up some savings.

Where the risk of unexpected costs used to keep me awake at night, they still do. Because I still am in the mindset that I would not be able to pay for them. But that mindset is changing

That change became very clear this week while talking to @thisismylife and hearing myself say "Well 70 euros more to not be confronted with all the hassle is a price I gladly pay."

Bikini Bottom Line

That was a Eureka Moment, to be confronted with unexpected or additional costs and not having to worry about those, and even having the luxury of gladly accepting them to make life easier was so weird.

For as long as I can remember even as a kid I struggled to pay for things, and I wrote a lot about how I changed that and how long it took me. And it took probably another year to see the first changes in my mindset shining through the clouds of old worries and fears.

Could it be that soon I will enjoy the moment, get annoyed because I am hungry while still being able to enjoy the beautiful architecture of wherever I may end up?

Is that what coming full circle will be like?

Spreading The Vibes

I did it, I did not mention her that should not be mentioned. But I do need to give her great credit for a very inspiring post. Thank you @mipiano for bringing back memories that I did not know I had.

And thanks to your son for the awesome pictures that would make me take a trip to Germany if it wasn´t so cold this time of year.

The pictures and inspiration came from this post:

The members of SMO are studying diligently (and having fun) in Altenhausen (Germany) this week

What is Spread The Vibes

If you want to know more about the Spread The Vibe Challenge not A challenge please clikerdeeclick me

Thank goodness you made it till the end Pees, Love and I am out of here!

---

Posted Using InLeo Alpha