𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮 - Monday 11 August 2025

Though I did some serious rewiring already, I am starting to see how stuck I have been in that scarcity mindset.

Limiting myself for decades....

Because planning a future feels like a luxury when survival is the focus.

These posts are:

𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑒𝓉.
𝒯𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒.

I was asking chat why it felt I was finally playing the game of life at my level, in full color instead of boring black & white.

Chat said this and was wrong, because chat did not know better.

1. Accumulated wisdom finally paying off
   What is wisdom? The things I learned in this lifetime do help, but do they really cause this huge shift in perspective?

2. Shifting from survival to thriving
   “Survival Mode:” building a career, raising kids, managing responsibilities, no me time basically. But I had me time, and still I looked at life as a black and white image.

That I do no longer have to survive, that has been a while, but the colors only came back recently, after they went away when I started high school.

1. Release of self-imposed limits
   Sometimes it takes decades to recognize—and dismantle—the inner scripts, now here we are getting somewhere. Removing my inner limitations.

2. Reframing what “your level” even means
   What a joke, I knew what my level was at 13, I just did not know how to reach it. It´s the multi-dimensional level, where you see the visible and the unseen. That is my level, and that is why it has color, compared to the one-dimensional level I have been stuck in for years.

3. Midlife clarity and urgency
   Urgency, midlife clarity....sounds more like midlife crisis to me. Does the fact that I wasted half of my life already make things any clearer? NO.

But what does?

What caused this flattened experience of living?

I knew my “level” even then, but I didn’t have the tools, confidence, or perhaps the permission to operate there.

I needed to adapt to a simpler way of functioning, because a 13-year-old does not have the experience, the authority, and the finances to level up.

But above all, I did not see all these multiple dimensions. I knew that it was my level, but how would I get there from my single surface reality?

After so many years, I learned to perceive both the visible and the invisible patterns and connections. And by recognizing those, I am able to add more and more layers.

I never knew consciously I was looking for this sight, but unconsciously I knew since I was 13. If I had made my unconscious conscious sooner, I might have arrived here many years ago.

But I did not, I followed my path without a plan.

Now that I see, now that the unconscious is conscious.

Now that I see the level, I see why one needs a plan. But a plan is useless to those who do not see. To them, a plan is nothing more than a list of tasks to complete, for no reason, as completion will not make them see.

And so they will not plan, just like I did not plan...till I did....
When I saw I was playing life at my level and in full color,

Thank you for making it this far....for those who know me...or better, think they know me, this might have been a WTF moment.

About Me
I’m a self-explorer, writer, and truth-seeker on a journey of turning the unconscious into conscious awareness. For years, I lived under the weight of hidden beliefs—scarcity, unworthiness, fear of failure—that shaped my life without me realizing it. It wasn’t fate; it was the unseen patterns within me.

Through deep self-reflection, journaling, and emotional exploration, I learned to face my shadows and rewrite my story. I believe healing begins when we dare to confront the parts of ourselves we’ve kept in the dark. My journey has been about making peace with these inner landscapes and choosing new beliefs that uplift rather than limit.

Forgiveness, both of myself and others, has been a powerful catalyst in my transformation. It has allowed me to release resentment, dissolve emotional burdens, and create space for growth and inner peace.

I use words to translate emotions into clarity. Writing is how I navigate my inner world—it’s how I process, release, and transform. Every tear, every insight, every shadow is part of my path toward wholeness.

Here, I share my reflections, my learnings, and my ongoing journey of self-discovery. If you’re someone who feels life has been running on autopilot and you’re ready to take the wheel, you’ll find a kindred spirit in me.

Rudyard Kipling´s (1865 – 1936) IF

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

Because I looked,

I looked at my mind from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's my mind´s illusions I recall
I really don't know my mind at all