𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮 - Friday 15 August 2025

Though I did some serious rewiring already, I am starting to see how stuck I have been in that scarcity mindset.

Limiting myself for decades....

Because planning a future feels like a luxury when survival is the focus.

These posts are:

𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑒𝓉.
𝒯𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒.

Yesterday I went back in time, and looked at myself.
The me at 13 years of age.

Something happened back then, and I never realized.
But I noticed, it felt like the year the magic fainted.

Which is what happened, I stepped into the great wide open, all by myself. With no hand to hold.

All the protection fell away, and I made myself vulnerable for new experiences, both good and bad.

It taught me beauty and darkness, sins and virtues, and above all, how to adapt to the ever-changing events in life.

It also taught me scarcity, because as of thirteen, I have been spending more money than I had. Always looking for a way to make a buck.

Some of those ways were by working hard and working smart, and other ways were less legal. I walked the line, and often had to get myself out of the financial little messes I got myself into.

It taught me the value of money, the joy of spending, and spending it on things that in no way would benefit me but would satisfy the needs of my limbic system.

The excitement coming from playing slot machines was intense, and they let me. Or rather, I knew the places where they let me.
For many years, the pull of those machines was something I could not resist. I learned to manage it, to not let it pull me down any further, but I was not in control.

If there was a surplus of money, I found ways to spend it, not just on machines. Really, I knew how to manage those, but in general, as if I had to get rid of it before life would take that money away again.

Which it did, because with my past, there were always a few outstanding payments, things that needed replacement, and a ton of fun things to do.

Those early years taught me to manage and limit myself. That way, I would never overindulge, which did work wonders in all areas of my life.

I was able to survive and come away unharmed, or at least that was what it looked like on the surface. No addiction brought me to the gutter, no need to live a life of crime.

I knew when to quit.
I had taught myself to protect myself by limiting myself and making myself very much aware of the constant scarcity and the effects of going below scarcity.

Scarcity was the acceptable level, my default mindset, making sure I would not lose myself in abundance.

Little did I know that there were many levels of abundance, and by limiting myself to the negative kind, I was unable to open up to the positive kind.

That is why I am now on this daily journey to discover where I come from, so I can embrace abundance on all levels that were previously closed off with a balanced, more mature mind.

Thank you for making it this far....for those who know me...or better, think they know me, this might have been a WTF moment.

There are many sides to all of us, some sides we hide, even from ourselves.
I can be an opinionated little prick, a loving father, or simply a lost soul.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.”
— William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Jim Morrison named The Doors after this concept. I agree that reality is filtered through our limited perceptions. But we can Break On Through to the other side.

"There are things known and things unknown, and in between are the doors."
— Jim Morrison

Our minds filter & reduce everything to a digestible and categorizable size, but in the process, we lose sight of the infinite abundance that surrounds us.