Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 81
๐ฆ๐ธ๐ป๐ญ ๐ซ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐พ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป
Beyond The Looking Glass is the second book in the Unseen series, a story that came to me from the other side. A story where I thought I was just the narrator until I heard the Words of the Unseen.
This second story goes beyond time and place and mixes the long ago with the here and now. Because history keeps repeating, until we learn and do something about it.
Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 81
I guess it all was starting to fit, lifeยดs unseen plan was taking shape.
Just a few weeks before the Cola & Mentos incident I had visited a GP. Deliah was sick of me having migraines every so many weeks, it was too much if I was out for a whole day and everything landed with her.
The GP, a dear, asked me how often I made time for myself and I indicated that I never really got around to it.
Then she asked what do you like to do?
That should be an easy question but I failed to give her an answer. It had been so long since I had done anything for myself that I had no idea what I enjoyed doing.
Now I had time to figure out what I liked doing, what made me tick.
While I was hoping to discover my happy place, Deliah had other plans.
Not only was this a golden opportunity for me to take a break, it allowed her to start slipping the idea of a psychologist into our conversations.
Now I have never felt the need, to talk to someone and figure out who I am. On the other hand, it might help me make sense of stuff.
Not even my stuff, but things other people mentioned. Other people like my mom in the past and Deliah lately.
My mom always thought I might have something in the autistic spectrum, I never got her point really but hey moms know best, right?
Personally, I never took it seriously, but Deliah has been throwing it around as well.
Weeks before my outburst she had already been hinting at the fact that I probably had Asperger's or something similar and that it would be better for the relationship if it would be confirmed because then I could work on it.
The suggestion had surfaced in the past, but never linked to actually visiting a specialist. Now she tried to make it part of my recovery plan, recovering from this burnout she invented.
It seemed as if I was sinking deeper and deeper into her swamp of manipulation and gaslighting, the strange thing is that would I have been able to see the bigger scheme of things the opposite was true.
My best friends in the Netherlands both told me after a while that they did not understand why my wife had involved them in our desperate situation.
Separately, they both told me that they understood the words that had come from frustration.
That it was an intense thing to say was undeniable, but I was known to be unfiltered in my choice of words, they saw that as in line with my personality.
Neither of them had doubted for a second that I would literally do something to her.
What they did not understand was why my wife, who must have known me well by now, felt the need to tell them about my outburst. What motivates someone to share such a moment outside the relationship with people who are not her closest confidants?
Like the other time when I was told about the beans she spilled about me when talking to the people who were living under our roof, I did not pay too much attention.
If you are in the middle of a lot of shit, one more turd does not really make a difference I guess.
It was a relief that they took my words for what they were and knew how they must have exploded after years of pressure building up.
If I had stopped and listened then maybe I would never have needed those psychologists, but as often I was too busy.
Busy looking for the cause in myself, busy thinking what if I was wrong?
What if there really is something different about me?
I had to admit that I never really felt like fitting in anywhere, and certain things about me could be labeled as different.
Never before did I feel the need, but what if? What if it caused the wounds in our relationship?
What if I for once stopped being stubborn, and went against my own better judgment?
If this could heal my family, I should consider it. Who knows, I could be wrong, she might be right and I just did not see that all the messy murky stuff originated from me not being normal.
Click The Next Button for The Next Chapter
Post Related To Closing Book One and Opening Book Two
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Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 1
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 2
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Greatest Hits From My Book "Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen"
The Closure - Alice in ArtWorkLand:
ALICE In AI ArtWorkLand - A Crazy Manยดs Revelations
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