Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 51
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Beyond The Looking Glass is the second book in the Unseen series, a story that came to me from the other side. A story where I thought I was just the narrator until I heard the Words of the Unseen.
This second story goes beyond time and place and mixes the long ago with the here and now. Because history keeps repeating, until we learn and do something about it.
Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 51
When I pick up the brush again to touch up this high skirting board I have to laugh. Look at me standing here, being the good guy, helping her pimp her new room while everything shows that she has someone else.
She didn't feel it anymore. That is what she said and she wanted to live on her own this year. We together didn't work for her she had realized when she was home in Heemstede.
For weeks, if not months I had been looking for a solution to end it and she, she just throws it on the table less than a week after she got back. Under the guise of wanting to experience real student life.
Does she really think I don't know that she didn't go to that festival alone?
When I give her a hug and wish her luck with her new room I feel freer and happier than I have in a very long time.
Staying with someone you don't have sparks with is paralyzing.
Why do I only realize that now?
Why don't I know these thingsยฟ
I'm already twenty and should know everything about life. But it feels like I've just tasted for the first time what makes life worth living.
Always keep going for the goal, and a lighthearted laugh.
The next joke and the next step, that's how I stumbled through life until I saw the light and went crazy.
Literally, my sentence was delusion because how could this be? How could I feel this and where did I get the idea that I could make her mine? She was a cherry and all men could see that even the ones that are visually impaired.
An afternoon of kissing doesn't make summer, it doesn't make anything at all. But it makes me desperately long for who knows what and also not sure why. I only know that she is it. But why she?
I'm no stranger to love, I've shared a bed before, even if it wasn't with her.
Why is it now that things are suddenly on?
Why only now, while so many women went before her and I always thought afterward. is this it?
Is this really what all the fuss is about?
Is this what all books and films rave about?
What a hellish emptiness.
Not that this felt like love, perhaps a burning desire but above all a must.
I need to be with her, she needs to be with me, there is something between us that I don't feel anywhere else and I don't call it love.
It is the chemistry that drives me to look for her, I can't understand it and even less describe it but I know that it drives me.
More than a year later
The heat slaps me in the face as I descend the airplane steps and marvel at how small Managua Airport is.
I never doubted it for a second, I always assumed that she would be here but when I go through customs. But now I do and I don't see her. The thought of being stranded here alone for two weeks crosses my mind, but before I realize the full impact she is there more beautiful than ever.
How crazy is it that we are only really together now that we are thousands of kilometers from home?
We have had more moments than that first afternoon in that very small room. But she has always managed to hide it from the world, while I would have preferred to tell everyone.
After this trip, there is no way back.
Literally, she promised her sister to free up the room where she stayed before her departure because it would be a nursery and she only stayed there temporarily after she left Metal Bas.
Now she was here, a month, with her mother in Nicaragua and I was with her. The first time we were really together.
I put my arms around her soft shoulders and kiss her in public for the first time in my life.
This feels so damn good, she feels and smells so maddeningly good.
Then her stepfather is done; "Vamos, muchachos." We follow hand in hand and at a South American pace.
With Manau Chao on the radio through the new world on the way to who knows what. I had no idea where I would end up. The ticket was the biggest birthday present I ever had for my birthday and now I was here.
The backpack was all I had with me, no plan, no idea what the world would look like on the other side of the ocean.
I went for her, and her alone. There was only one plan, I wanted to marry her here. And she had said yes.
No idea how I had managed that but the world moves in unfathomable ways and this time in my direction.
With my hand on her belly, I stare at the ceiling, my small bed is exchanged for this king-size bed that we make ample use of. After an eternity of spinning in my thoughts, we were finally a reality.
"I have arranged something. Tomorrow evening we are going to the house of a friend of Mari-Sol, a lawyer will marry us there."
I look at her in disbelief but don't ask anything.
"I don't have any clothes for something like that," is my first response after letting the words sink in.
"Neither do I, but that doesn't matter anyway. The lawyer's friend and Mari Sol are our witnesses, there is no one else."
I feel my face stuck in a huge smile; "I don't need anything more, this is perfect."
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