All The Pieces

I love it when all the pieces come together.

But, they are nowhere near together yet.

However, I do feel like there is something happening, and that is a start. As I have mentioned, I am having some informal coaching sessions through a colleague, and we have met twice now. There hasn't been anything too in depth yet, but just getting it started feels like things are heading in the right direction. It is like being overweight, complaining about it, wanting to lose weight - and then doing nothing about it. Take that first step and change diet, or go to the gym once, and there is that sense of progress, even though nothing has actually been accomplished yet.

Often, the hardest part of change, is getting started.

Over the next week, have an exercise to do where I essentially have to select 25 words from a word list of about 150, that resonate with me. And then, I group them into buckets of similar, prioritizing those that are important. It is an interesting exercise to reflect on, as it might be that there are clear "values" that can be used to create action points upon, but it could also be that there are some conflicts too.

I was talking to my supervisor about the sessions today and asking her about when she went through a similar period in life a few years ago, and she had an interesting take on what she had done. She used a book to guide her with activities and frameworks, and it grouped aspects of life into four buckets, with one being work. For her, she classified everything as "work" that had to be done. but she didn't actually want to do it, like cleaning the house. However, whilst not everything at work is fun and enjoyable, most of it she didn't actually see as "work", as it gave her purpose.

I think similarly in some way, except I see work as everything that I find valuable to do, that helps me achieve larger goals that I am aiming for. It isn't always fun, but often the crappy work is a prerequisite in order to have access to better results. And it isn't always possible to have others do it - like my supervisor has done with her cleaning at home, having someone come every couple weeks for a "proper clean".

What I have recognized recently though, is that I have a fear of making the wrong decisions. I know I know - many people have that fear - but why? For me, I think it is because when I was young, I didn't have much parental support, so if I wanted something, I had to get it for myself. But, without a safety net of any kind, I had to be careful with what I chose to do, because it whatever happens, it would be me paying the consequences directly. As a result, I became very cautious, to the point that it hindered my growth in some areas of my life.

I was independent, but conservative.

Obviously in some ways, this is a benefit and a strength, but there is also a dark side to it also, as it means that a lot of experiences are foregone, even though I might have wanted it. And, because I learned to be self-reliant, I also have a very hard time asking people for help, both because I want to do things for myself, and I don't want to be a burden on others. This means that rather than getting help, I have often struggled though inefficiently and with less than excellent results, just because I was unwilling to ask a friend to lend a hand.

Yet, if a friend asks me, I will help them.

And I get enjoyment out of helping others, because it makes me feel relevant, that something I do matters to others. Yet, I also don't often provide that opportunity for others, at least when I am involved.

Am I robbing them of some joy?

Maybe.

I think as a general global culture, we have become far more selfish, and disconnected from each other personally, and our extended communities. However, I am not giving the people around me the opportunity to reciprocate sharing help, how are those relationships going to improve? We often talk about how we don't help strangers as much anymore, but maybe that is a symptom of us not helping the people we know as much either. Perhaps because we have withdrawn from each other in our personal lives, our community muscles have atrophied at the same time.

Of course, this is conjecture based on my own observations, and there is likely variation across individuals. Yet, I do think that we have isolated ourselves through digital habits, and this has resulted in a warping of interpersonal relationships, as well as what we expect from them.

If there is to be significant improvement in society, I suspect it is going to have to be through real life interaction, rather than just screens. The screens can of course facilitate some level of connection, but it isn't enough alone. It might be a bit like how people can say terrible things to strangers online, because they don't really see them as a person. If the same interaction was performed face to face though, it would be far more civil.

Or it used to be.

Again, maybe it is the wearing down of our social ability, that is leading to an increase in antisocial behavior, which becomes a breeding ground for polarization and extremism. All of the terrible politicians that are vying for positions of power now, are a symptom of a dysfunctional society, not the cause of it - though once in power they quicken the race to the bottom.

We live in quite an amazing world, but it is misaligned and disconnected at the human level currently. We have nearly all the pieces necessary to build an amazing experience for humanity as a whole, yet we utilize our resources so poorly, with the results of the world speaking for themselves.

I know I can't fix the world, but I can reflect on pieces of it that I see as broken, and perhaps I can shuffle some of my own pieces around, to better align with what I value in this life, and maybe with what some others may value too.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]