Rehearsal Plus Audience Equals Unpaid Big Band Gig

Tonight I’ll be performing wih HV Swing Band.
This is usually a rehearsal night for the band… it’s being called a rehearsal performance.

The day starts.

Absorb colored skys.


Wake ealy, but don’t tell anyone in SoCal.


Seek long horizons.

Work Before Work

I might be forced to stay at work longer than I anticipated.

I should bring a tip jar.
We might be performing for students.
Maybe that’s tacky?

I Arive

almost late because… MONEY JOB 🤷‍♂️ DuH

I get out of the car and it smells like burnt toast.
It’s not the car.
I unload the car and go inside the venu.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF BURNT FUCKIN’ TOAST IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!?

The entire room smells like toasted bread from hell. Nobody says anything about it.

I carry my amp up the steps and onto the stage.
FFS, I forgot it’s a moldy back wall type of dungeon/stage. Gonna be a postnasal drip kind of rehearsal.

By the way, where is the audience?!
😦
No chairs and tables set up. Everyone in the band is dressed up like it’s a performance. I definitely put lots of extra effort into dressing appropriately.

I thought we started at 7!?
I thought I was late. We were told this is a performance/rehearsal to help pay for a place to rehears.
Where’s the audience?

Music

I don’t know what songs we’re gonna perform. The audience will be watching us rummage through the music books. The performance music should be separate from all the other songs in the main chart book.

Lots and lost and losts of swing tunes.

Oh but there’s no audience.

Video

I hope I get some good video footage.

… a few hours later

I recorded many song. I saved my self some editing tasks by starting and stopping the revording throughout rehearsal. This time, I could see the screen because I was using the selfie camera.

Out of all those recordings, there’s one that’s pretty good. It’s a Samba/bossa nova tune. The drummer uses brushes and is actually not too loud. I was nagging him to be quieter all night.
Yes, the stage was reverberant. However the same volume all the time is never a good practice.
ANYWAY, here’s a cool tune…

Drummers listen up!!!

If you need brushes to play quietly, if brushes are the only time you can play quietly, you suck. If they’re always asking you to switch to brushes, it’s because you play too loud and you only know how to play at one volume. I’m not making this up. Hopefully, I’m not the first person to say this. If you can’t play quietly and appropriately with regular drumsticks, your only seeing the drum set in one dimention. 😵‍💫

Good rhythm at appropriate volume levels is a fundamental expectation for all instrumentalists. Don’t be fooled. I’m not saying always be quiet. I’m saying always be appropriate and stick out or bring the fire when you need to.

“Walk lightly and carry a big stick.”

“Be a good goalie.”

“Catchers never drop the ball.”

“Always keep one in the chamber.”

😂

Btw, WTF is the audience?!

Wtf did i rush home, presure customers, leave work early, drive fast, and … how in the fuck we gonna have a dress rehearsal for no performance!?!?

Where in the burnt toast and no butter hell is the butt crusty audience?!?

WTF is the paid gig?!?

They keep telling me I’m gonna need to pay $20 to rehearse at one of the other locations. And I keep telling them,”No. I’m not gonna pay to play.”
I already pay so that they can enjoy my services for free. I say, “I charge a measly 50 for rehearsals and 100 for a gig in the least.” And then I remind them that musicians have squandered their talents away by charging the same amount for decades.

No pay to play.

“Shame on musicians who try to run game on musicians.”

Glam

Hopefully, I get some pictures of other instruments and not just my bass. There are a lot of distractions there… blah blah…

… a few hours later

Nope, didnt get any glam shots. Just video footage of a squirrel hiding under my shirt while I play.

What the burnt toast!?!

I never found out why everywhere in the frickin’ everywhere smelled like burnt fuckin toast from fuckin hell.
There was no audience because someone at the schedule confused or rescheduled without telling somebody. I don’t really know. I heard some kind of explanation from across the room.

More drama…

Rehearsal had to be cut short. Someone neglected to tell the bartender they would be stuck there until the end of our rehearsal. The wrong people had to negotiate this at the wrong time and it was a little awkward. I wanted to give that bartender 20 bucks, but instead I left as fast as possible. No socializing, no conversations, just go home and review the footage.

Thanks for ready, skimming, listening and supporting my rants…. POSTS!!!!

Have a nive day.