Making Art is a Battle of the Soul

It’s been a while hasn’t it?

I’ve been hunkering down trying to finish the work of 8 people and make sure this album is released by November 1st.

Since have a show at the end of October and a music festival on the other side of the country to go to in November (just as spectators), I am really pushing myself.

There is also the fact that I only have so much energy to work on these songs before the excitement disappears and stress takes it place, and stress is a much less powerful tool than excitement. I’d like all my work to be fueled by excitement.

I still have one song I need to practice and record and that’s been eating at me because I want to focus fully on that for a time but it’s hard when so many songs need mixing, so I decided to try and get all the mixing done this month on the 6 other full length songs.

Then I’ll spend all of October on this final song and two short uncomplicated interludes.

I was hoping to get out 2nd and 3rd singles out of the way but I realized I would likely crash for a week after releasing a single so it would be best to get the other songs ready first.

I did do most of the basic arrangements and mixing for those singles but I haven’t done the fine tuning detailed stuff yet.

I am currently working on our longest song, an 11 minute epic about breaking free from the shackles of the past. It’s called “This House and All the Ghosts that Haunt it” and you may have seen some short clips or heard it on the live album

Light a flame to purify these walls この壁を清めるために、火を灯して

Working on this song reminds me of what art really is, or at least a big part of what it is. When you create something and put all of yourself into it, you are forced to look at parts of yourself you may not have know existed, or perhaps you were avoiding. New emotions come up in the process and reveal difficult truths and exciting possibilities.

It’s very easy to imagine this song bringing someone to tears, I can admit that that was one of its main purposes. I wrote it for myself and for someone close to me as a declaration of freedom from the past.

It was the inspiration for making an album in the first place. I wrote this song and realized I had something I absolutely needed to share and so I started to build out a world in order to share it. From there I created a map and discovered a wider message that goes beyond the song itself, but this song is the very heart of the album.

For that reason, and because it’s 8 layers of vocals 5 guitar tracks and a bass, it’s been a nightmare to put together.

I’m constantly reminded of my shortcomings and as much as I am trying my best to grow, I will not be the person required to make this song into the version of it I was hoping to create.

I suppose that will always be the case so long as an artist has expectations, but it’s very very painful to settle for less than your best when it’s a song you love so much.

The reality though is that it will take months if not years of practice and putting all the pieces in place to create what I initially envisioned for this song.

I’m going to make sure I get as close as fucking possible though! That’s my job now.

Iv’e set this deadline because otherwise the work will stagnate and get lost in a list of a million other things I want to do. If there’s anything I’ve learned from the previous EP, it’s that songs need a release in order to make room on your plate for new things, and I already have a bunch of new stuff in the oven that wants to be created.

The excitement is the fuel that makes magic happen. It makes it possible to do 2 years of work in a month or two. It allows you to discover abilities you never knew you had, and weave results rather than toil for them.

Real art pushes you to your limits. Sometimes it’s nothing but fun. Sometimes it’s difficult. Sometimes it’s absolutely terrifying.

You will never be able to make something that feels absolutely perfect. The key is to aim as high as you can, give everything you are willing to give, and to love the result no matter how it comes out.

While the past decade was about growing spiritually, the past year I’ve become truly capable at making the things I want to make. Even if it isn’t at the point I know it could be, that’s not the point.

I learned EQ and how to better use effects both live and in the studio.

I can now write a song a day if I wanted and be somewhat satisfied with the result most days (arranging recording and mixing is a very different story).

I wrote 6 new songs that feel much more in line with where I’m at now, so I no longer have to keep relying on songs from 2013. Im living in the present now.

I’m going to write a bunch more when this album is finished and record them slowly over time.

I got the attention of a bunch of really awesome artists in my city, a few of them quite well-known, and played 10 shows, and stopped feeling shy around people with millions of followers.

I learned to jam and put out a live album on streaming and as a CD.

I upgraded most of my equipment to be able to make the things I wanted to make.

This album will be the culmination of all I’ve learned. A statement of where I am at now and where I am heading, as the live album was. While the live album showed the results of 7 or 8 years of evolution, the studio album will show the results of a single year, and there are even more profound.

After the album is complete, the next year will be more of that process of growing through doing, but I will do it at a more comfortable pace, getting just as much done with a lot less forced effort.

I want to get back to drilling on guitar for speed and increasing my library of chords by studying triads.

I will write and record new songs while experimenting with new tools, including MIDI and new instruments.

I plan on starting a kind of “all-star” band with other band or two where we can play different kinds of music from what we are doing now.

I will organize a bunch more shows in town and a few out of town too.

I will get more comfortable with some of my favorite artists here so that I may be able to work with some of them in the future.

I also want to commission some music videos so I can focus more on the music this year, although I may still make one music video myself for fun and to improve those skills.

More collaborations to come too!

I’m not sure every release will be this meticulous. I like Lo-fi and I want to experiment with new styles and recording methods so the next piece of work may not sound anything like this one.

In the end it’s amazing that 50 minutes of music took up an entire year, but when I play everything out like I have here, it’s actually a lot bigger than that.

As soon as this song is finished, I will get back to work on the single which I hope to release in the first half of October.

And if you haven’t heard the new single Speaking Leaves here it is