Dopamine crash, recover with music

I don’t know if it’s a dopamine crash or just the weight of the world or these damn solar flares I keep hearing about but I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.

As I mentioned last time, our show went kind of well last time but it was also a serious wake up call. I still have a long way to go to be able to play shows without a shit ton of preparation.

This is far from second nature.

While the last show was run by a friend and required us to play our songs as usual but as solid as we can, this next show is demanding in a completely different way.

The space has no sound system and the main act is a noise artist from Europe. So we are going from one end of the spectrum to the absolute other, from pop to noise. It’s at an old house and ironically loud noise is a concern.

When we play unplugged we are kind of limited to the amount of experimentation or jamming we can do, I don’t think it’ll fit this event. But then if we play our songs fully electric, it’s usually a little loud.

So I am trying to create softer electric versions of our songs with more space for jamming and playing around and we will have to bring our own equipment.

Not to mention we will be playing inside of a 4 foot hole in the ground. We will be surrounded by dirt.

I don’t want to get my equipment dirty so I’m going to have to manage my guitar effects with my hands which create some logistical problems since I usually press them with my feet WHILE I’m playing.

It feels great to be able to play such a unique location but it also requires a lot of logistical meneuvering.

I think what’s getting to me is the lack of confidence i feel, and the realization that we weren’t really 100% ready for a pop show just as we aren’t 100% ready for a fully experimental art show.

We did very well in this strange space in between, where highly esteemed but somewhat ameteur artists of various genres plus some regular audio equipment (mic, PA, amp) are present but it’s still an experimental oriented crowd. Those shows are few and far between. There are only a few people out there who have built a reputation of holding such events where expectations match our actually style.

In the pop world we are far too experimental and random. In the experimental world we are far too pop and predictable. In both settings our weak points are too glaringly apparent but we’d like to be able play both and find ways to adjust our music without abandoning our core sound and vibe.

The previous show and the next show are showing me just what a tall order that is and how much work we will have to do before we really feel comfortable.

It’s as if we are getting thrown into two very different deep ends one after another. Forced to swim a river of ice and then walk on fire.

I can’t complain. I asked for this. I want this. In a sense.

I didn’t think I’d face two extreme challenges one after the other, just around the time I was hoping to record an album. Both take away from that but both will help improve the quality of that later, as well as prepare us for various kinds of shows we may want to play to promote it.

The amount of things I need to practice and improve is so overwhelming though.

If I had my way I would have done this second show 6 months later after the album was out but my friend has an exhibition there and asked us to play and I would love to play and this kind of space isn’t exactly easy to play, they hardly have music events and usually they are run by some organizer who is focused on the art scene more than the music scene.

It is what it is.

Of course it’ll be fine but I am most worried about having an argument with the owner because he does not seem like the easiest person to communicate with and we already had a misunderstanding that made me very uncomfortable.

Relationships in Japan are so very fragile and I suppose the way art has certain demands and very strong opinions is what weighs at me the most. It feels like a very easy event to have a disagreement over, which is a strange thing to say but it’s accurate.

If there’s one thing I wish non1musicians knew about independent artists it’s this: sound and how it interacts with space is so much more complicated than you know.

Often people think they don’t like a band or that they don’t play well when it’s actually a problem with the space. Even I was guilty of this before I played music. I saw bands play a horrible set in one place and then a great one in another space. For the longest time I thought it was just a bad night for them. Now I realized it was about the speakers, equipment or sound engineer.

If someone knows the songs they fill in the gaps in their mind and tend to notice less. If they haven’t heard the band, they miss out on what the band was made to sound like. They don’t know why they aren’t into it. They just aren’t into it.

I started realizing this while playing with a djembe player who was also a sound engineer. During our shows together everything sounded flawless no matter where we were! As soon as I left the city where he lived my live shows started sounding worse and I realized how important it was to have him to tell me how far to stand from the mic or trying to compensate for each spaces weak point and play into it’s strength.

I don’t have money to pay a sound guy every single show, or any show for the most part. They an be very expensive, and if they aren’t they are doing you a favor or they aren’t very good. The best I can do is keep learning how to manage the sound myself.

More things to learn!

Well I better get away from my phone so I can start focusing on the music!

A live album APPEARS!

https://youtube.com/shorts/mfEfye1duEQ?feature=share