Not Too Old to Dance
Sometimes, I've just had this long and enthused conversation with a random stranger. It might be about travel, or surfing, or music, art, books, or more generally, life. I'm nattering away, and then suddenly they say something like: 'You're so cool for your age!' or 'it's awesome you're still doing things like that, I hope to be doing that when I'm older.'
And there's a moment where I wonder what they're talking about.
Then I realise I'm chatting away to someone in their 20's, or maybe their thirties, or early 40's - and I realise, goodness, they are a whole decade or two or three younger than me.
The gorgeous chic I see for therapeutic massage chatters away to me about her (asshole) boyfriend, about snowboarding and share houses and travel and sharks, and how she loves that I'm still surfing. She talks about a 70 year old she admires who only lives with her husband a few months a year, and the rest of the time is doing volunteer work in Sri Lanka or travelling in her van. 'You guys are so cool.' she says. I honestly don't know what to say. Shut up and keep massaging?
My grandmother used to look in the mirror and wonder who the white haired old lady was looking back at her. I feel the same when I accidentally flip the camera into selfie mode. The horror.
No matter how old you get, it's a shock. You're still the same person on the outside, it just hurts to get up more.
Not quite invisible - there's a whole group of kids out there these days that love to learn from adults - but almost.
I'm the same person I was back then,
A little less hair, a little less chin,
A lot less lungs and much less wind.
But ain't I lucky I can still breathe in. - Maya Angelou
If I was to choose any age to go back to, it's probably my late 30's. I was the fittest I'd ever been (lots of Bikram yoga), I was still able to go out and see bands and not come home til 3 am, and I still felt young. I had more wisdom, though, more balance, more self worth than I had earlier in my life. It was just before peri menopause slapped me sideways, before my stress breakdown, before Dad got ill.
But they say every age is a good age, because you're breathing.
And dancing, and laughing, and being enthusiastic about life, and not wanting to die yet.
Thanks to @ablaze for his #threetunetuesday initiative that brings us some banging tunes across Hive every week.
With Love,
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I have heard people said a lot of stuffs about their thirty’s. How they will like to go back to that age, maybe, there is something special about it in every one’s life, just it was to you about the bands, and coming home by 3.
Music seems to resonates stuff’s in the best way. Yes, I think every stages of our life’s are awesome. Good morning from here.
Maybe it's that age that you don't feel that uncertainty of youth, and the weight of things like careers, mortgages, kids, parents getting ill and dying etc....
This time I got a pretty good body on this planet. At 49 I feel comfortable at 115 kg. Ideally, it would be possible to stop aging at 35, but everything is fine now. We still dance with my wife, sometimes until the morning :)
I adore this. Me and Jamie do, to reggae on Saturday mornings xx
That's good.
I sometimes say things like that - "at your age", "for her age" - and feel bad about it. Am I being unfair? But it seems just like expressing admiration, or if anything on top of that, I would say fear. Deep down, we're all afraid of dying, of losing the parts of ourselves that give us joy - like surfing, traveling the world, going to concerts, whatever it may be for you. When I see someone older doing the things I love "at their age", it gives me hope that I might not have to lose them after all, that foundational joy. So maybe when someone says such things, they're actually saying thank you for giving me hope before this primal, firmly rooted fear (of death, because ultimately, that is what it is, and the younger you are, the less experience with this you have). It's no small thing to give someone that message of hope, my dear. :)
P.S.: you're freaking cool. For any age. At all ages, seems to me.
"Thank you for inspiring me to be like you when I am older" is what I am going to now use instead of "For your age". :D
Haha yep I'm cool, always, haha! I'll own it. I appreciate that - even though part of me gets irked by the age judgement. Then older people do the same to youth, don't they? I feel like I'm forever saying the kids are alright to people who like the narrative they are doomed or this or that.
One of the great tragedies of the human condition is that we don’t age backwards, Benjamin Button style. If only I’d known then what I know now, life could have been so perfect.
We kind of age like the snap of an elastic band. There's probably more steps than I will summarise in the next paragraph(s)
We need intense care. We get sassy. We get independent. We get hurt. We stabilise.
We de-stabalise.
We get hurt (or ill, or mutate - that's all ageing is, mutation!) - We lose independence. We get sassy. We need intense care.
We age in a circle.
And, we percieve time more quickly as we age, as our "temporal refresh rate" slows.
Yes indeed, The Seven Stages of Man. I'm not overjoyed to learn of the slowing of the temporal refresh rate, but I'm certain I can buck the trend:)
When it begins fast, it ends fast too. Just think faster and you'll be fine, that's what I try to do! :)
Ah, but the poetry in the struggle - perhaps there's something sublime in that. Sometimes the tough stuff makes life all the sweeter now.
Don't stop having those sorts of conversations, they're some of the best. Even if they have no "Value" in the context of the world that judges us against economic factors and productivity, I am happiest when I am engaging in such discussions, because, not only does it help me "Rebel" against that system and structure, by "Wasting my labours", but it also gives me greater fulfilment, happiness and less existential dread.
See, us talking to each other, age does not exist. It's one of the things I love about Hive - we really forget about things like age, mostly, because we are engaging with people's ideas. I love it here so much.
The underlying irony of the community this is posted in though, excluding a younin' like me from posting stuff from my yet-to-purchased walking frame. :P
You know, in the last few weeks the palliative care team brought Dad all the support - walking frames, sticks etc etc. He always said he'd 'never fucking use them' and when I was taking the piss out of the poor bugger he mock whacked me with the walking stick we were trying to get him to use. But nah, he got by, just by holding onto furniture. Then he fell, and never got up again, having fulfilled his promise of never fucking using those fucking things.
I'd much rather be beligerent enough to carry the bedside table around the house with me, claiming it were my walking stick, then use one. But hey, I have used one - when my piriformis / hamstring has flared it the past. Now that I am back in the gym, doing strengthening and mobility for the muscle groups around it (and have an ergonomic seat, and a much more ergonomic car, I've not had a single relapse!)
But that bedside table, it WAITS for me to misuse it as a walking stick. Its sturdy too, as a chair, has my underwear, so when I shit myself, I can change that quickly too.
Can't believe my mother was gonna dump these bedside tables.
"No matter how old you get, it's a shock. You're still the same person on the outside, it just hurts to get up more."
My sister and I were yesterday, yet again, talking about how I will be 70 in just a few more months. And I was lamenting only having 3 good hours of work in me on most days. Two years ago it was 5 hours. And I was saying there's lots of farmers out there my age still working. So I looked it up. 39% of farmers are over 65. Bit younger but still. The median age of farmers is 57.5 years old, making them the oldest workforce in the country according to the Senate Committee on Aging. But I have to remember, I have 2 chronic illnesses...
This is what I think I should look like, as I did until I was 30:
Not this:
And I should still be able to walk at least! The PT visit last week shocked me at how bad my balance had gotten since the sciatica event for 3 weeks. If I could just get the weight off!
You're as gorgeous as ever. I do love that photo of you but I also love the one of you now. And being nearly 70 is incredible, you do more work in three hours than I do most days and you know it. Farmers just keep going .. 💪💪💪💪 being out in nature, being physical. . no wonder.
Thank you! My sister said the same thing…
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Well, I think, you can dance at any age - it's not matter of age, rather mindset....Of course the current young generation feel very possessive but they are broken inside, and not confident like we used to be - they have not seen hardship.
In terms of lifestyle my 30s were definitely the best, but now I reckon I'm in the best overall balanced position. If you get ourself mentally in a good place, everything else will follow
Yeah me too mostly.
Hello gorgeous! you are beautiful and fit at your age and it is nice that you are able to stay fit and healthy.
You've been curated by @plantpoweronhive! Delegations welcome!
Wow, this amazing.
I wish to be agile forever, but will nature agree
Lolz 🤣🤣
Just keep moving til ya can't!
I am in my thirty's, and it is indeed a glorious time. I'm enjoying every little part of it. I'm surrounded by many expats though, mostly retired ones, some more active than others. Just Saturday some of them, musicians between 70 and 80 years old, through a concert at my in-law's restaurant. It was a blast. They're all very active and health-conscious, and rocked the house for 3 hours. Most of the older spectators had already left, it was mostly the younger crowd (30-60) that was hitting the dance floor again and again. And the band kept playing. It was very impressive. They always say that they're sore for 3 days after, but I usually encounter them the next day doing shopping, smiling, filled with that special energy music gives you.
Thanks for sharing your songs!
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Sound like fun! Are you originally from Ecuador or are you expat yourself?
I'm an expat, landed here 12 years ago. Born, raised and educated in Germany, came here through university exchange, fell in love with a woman, and so on and so forth :-D
Hahaha I loved your words, yes I think they think anyone over 30 should be six foot under. It is funny to them that people actually do things.
And yeah I am with you it was in my late 30s was when I could anything too, no sleep required etc! Good times!
Oh God remember not worrying about sleep all the time!!
lol and not nodding off 🤣
Greetings @riverflows. You're absolutely right. It's good to stick to the same old routine as if nothing were happening, as if we were suspended in time. After all, we're a legendary blues classic that still resonates in the minds of others. Thanks for inspiring my new post! Hugs.
Yay, I'm still the same me, it's crazy feeling my body age and yet my mind is still so young. Definitely never too old to dance xx
You said it so well, sistah!
Yes. And that horror of trying to do a selfie! I just can't. And when people are taking my picture, I always say, "could you back up just a little?" 😄