Call Me Crazy (#116)

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(Edited)

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Trigger warning : suicide
 

January 2023

 
I'm fucked.

This thought appears occasionally and is, in some ways, technically spot on if you see things from one specific perspective.

I mean...

if I were to agree with the perspective of the fifties (that we can't seem to move on from already) that a woman my age should want to (and be) married well (or have a partner at the very least), have a home, wear respectable clothing in order to be respectable (which wouldn't include holes, of course), have an established and profitable social circle (because, let's face it, too often a social circle is entirely based on this) and have savings to fall back on in an emergency and for retirement both.

A future.

A planned future. A safe future.

I have none of the above.

Not anymore.

Some might call this crazy.

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In fact, I don't even know where exactly I'm headed right now...

often until a few days prior to leaving a place of semi residence.

And even where I am able to move next is dictated by affordability, all inclusive utilities and internet, being furnished and whether I don't need to pay a deposit. Did someone around here say "hen's teeth"?

I'm also flying by the seat of my panties financially. Literally hand to mouth I can't afford luxuries like black pepper and will I be able to afford to eat for the rest of the month. With no back up at all.

Oh... and I have COPD (and can't afford medical care anyway) which makes the going get tough when I've over-extended myself.

Which I still do because:
 

  • traveling and six moves since October 2022 without a car while I look around to find a permanent place

    The assistance and car for the move was reneged on because I wouldn't enter into a relationship with a man. Apparently he was not my "friend" and trying to help because he respected my journey after all. My bad. I'm selfish with my time because not much of it, dead broke, frequently full of sh!t and not even that hot anymore. Who would have thought? Seriously 🙄
     
  • full day solo parenting (and home-school) of a busy almost twelve year old for two week stretches at a time
  • completely alone and still mostly ostracized because I was a "bad girl" and didn't keep my mouth shut... which apparently was crazy of me and yes I would do it again 😉
  • still trying to work because I prefer to be an independent woman which some might consider crazy

    At my age, becoming a trophy wife won't be an option much longer anyway as @paulmoon410 pretty correctly and honestly points out. Oops.
     
  • still flying solo because I kinda prefer it these days (which must mean I'm a bit crazy because girls just wanna get married, right?)
  • while trying to rebuild my life and business in a society that doesn't respect or even trust me (or my abilities) much (because I'm a woman) so more effort to make anything "work" Tiring now! Please stop it already.
  • with a ton of debt, that I can't repay right now, because my bank never bothered to respond to repeated requests for consolidation when I saw the writing on the wall in 2019, even though I never missed one payment in thirty years Bye bye credit... prolly a good thing anyway
  • with tons of creative ideas and the consequential making of such in between all of everything because art and soul food
     
    And never enough time. Y'all get this part, of course

 

Some days, now, I get so tired that I think I may not be able to get back up again. This time

I should be terrified, right?

The thing is...

I've never felt more liberated, clear headed, hopeful, inspired and alive in all my life.

Some might think this is crazy.

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Are you sweatin' yet?

 
Most people do when they see this.

When they really "see" it, that is.
 

When they're able to "see" it fully... which is usually only up close and for realsies. From a distance it's easy to imagine this is just another a story, I guess...

 
This is probably because we've been so brilliantly programmed to be terrified of financial instability or any instability that we either can't fully look it in the eye, or we kill ourselves (literally) trying to avoid it. Same thing mostly

The thing is... I've come to accept that security is an illusion anyway.

And if you build a life on an unforeseeable future which is exactly what the future is ...

you may miss living a life entirely.

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My dad did this, by the way.

His suicide almost nine years ago, after he lost the millions (plus his social status and a great many "friends") that he'd worked for his entire life, was instrumental in a radical change in life direction for me.

It got me sober and into recovery.

I have absolute faith that, were he still alive today, he'd be trying to convince me of how very "crazy" I am to be doing this traveling thing regardless right now... under these circumstances...

while secretly grinning and adoring my complete and utter abandonment of my post as a responsible citizen and/or "sure I'll be your girlfriend".

In fact...

he'd be cheering me on.

And some folks might think he was crazy.

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August 2022

 
I fired a client.

Yep. I did.

As broke and as (what might be considered but isn't if you are actually sane) desperate as I am am supposed to be...

I fired a big client in 2022. In fact, I fired two before the year was out

He was a private client for the recovery business.

And private recovery pays pretty well.

But this private recovery client had entered recovery for the wrong reasons and didn't really want to recover at all, you see.

I won't share more because privacy.

Suffice to say I'm not about to waste anybody's money, or (more importantly) put them at risk, if I see that they aren't serious about getting clean and sober.

Apparently, to many people...

it's crazy to fire a client when you're in dire financial circumstances.
 

I think, if you know anything about addiction and the possible consequences of being in "active" (addiction)... and what could happen if you're enabled/supported while you meander along that particular road... that my choice was what is commonly referred to as a "no-brainer".

 
In short...

I reckon someone's life is more important than my personal financial stability and comfort.

But call me crazy.

My point is...

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Crazy is as crazy does

(if you don't bother to look any deeper...)
 
I once chaperoned a Schizophrenic a human being with schizophrenic reactions, while I was getting my recovery certification and was working for a sober living house, in Cape Town, back in 2019.

I'll share more about what I learned from Jerry Name changed for privacy , and about our so-called "sane" society, in The Book That May Never Be Written (a.k.a The Accidental Theory) if I can ever stomach going over some of the experience I was "gifted" with long enough to actually write the thing.

Suffice to say Jerry was more honest, more empathetic, more realistic and more "awake" than most (supposedly) "sane" humans I've met.
 

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Jerry wasn't even remotely crazy.

Jerry could see things as clear as friggin' day, in fact.

Too clearly and too honestly for most people to handle, as it turned out.

And as everybody around him steadfastly refused to acknowledge certain undeniable truths about "life" and "reality" (as things really are and how, deep down, we all know things truly are)...

the dishonesty, selfishness and cruelty of a society we walk around in, and consider "normal", would drive him into "psychosis" at times.

So-called "psychosis" I should say, rather.

It was when Jerry could no longer reign it in, and politely ignore the socially acceptable encouraged dishonesty and the innately prejudiced constructs of our "normal" that go with it, that he would occasionally lose his sh!t...

and rant a bit.

What would he rant about, you may wonder?

Jerry would rant about the "evil" he saw around him, being perpetuated as par for the course normal-this-is-how-we roll-around-here. The "our etiquette". The "this is how we do things around here even if people get hurt y'know."

He would rant about the prejudice, otherness and selfishness. He would rant about the blatant dishonesty he could see in social situations, as well. He would rant about the lack of unity, care and unconditional love in the world in general.

All that good stuff.

All that Truth.

Yet, most people thought Jerry was crazy.

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I'm f*cked

 
After walking through this particular fear of the unknown anything is possible future for some months...

when this thought pops into my head...

I now smile to myself a bit.

I nod as well.

"Yep. I'm pretty f*cked!" I agree cheerfully.

And, with my acknowledgement of this alternative perspective, the thought disappears almost as quickly...

and I get on with the business of living again.

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Three "crazy" tunes for #ttt

With a poem... because poetry ❤️
 
Because I've come to accept that ranting trying to explain myself rarely serves much purpose other than to create an opportunity for some people to call me crazy. And I'm too tired, at the moment, to rant much. 😁

Also... let's face it... many utterly brilliant artists could probably share this point of view far better. And already have

Also... music. 💥
 

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Much Madness is divinest Sense

Much Madness is divinest Sense -
To a discerning Eye -
Much Sense - the starkest Madness -
’Tis the Majority
In this, as all, prevail -
Assent - and you are sane -
Demur - you’re straightway dangerous -
And handled with a Chain -
Emily Dickenson

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Written in response to the latest Ladies of Hive Community Contest #116

PB8ro82ZpZP35bVGjGoE93K3E4U5KX8KtMBJ2rgxxahCTCUkULFbdgP1UZBjoLazzmhUcw7rrLJB6Zyqirx5tgL5SUMRjjU8k3RkonVA8Wiy79Bt.png
You can join the Ladies of Hive Discord server here:
https://discord.gg/P4nqcj6
Or find the LOH Community here

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And with "love ya back and always" to The Alliance
for encouraging me to be me...

no matter how "crazy" I am. 😉❤️

Unconditional love and acceptance.
This is how we heal the world

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Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer

still...

Beyond fear is freedom

And there is nothing to be afraid of.

To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee

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Featured image montage created with this wallpaper and this wallpaper from Wallpaper Abyss
All images edited using GIMP

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Now I understand how it works. Crazy people gather in one place, that's why I'm so drawn to your blog... It's so funny how I left some thoughts behind my post to find them in yours!

This is another bombshell!

Should an artist stay hungry? No shit! The artist will always be hungry in this world....

Thanks for your wise words!

!PIZZA
!WINE
!LUV
!LOLZ
!ALIVE
!invest_vote
!hiqvote

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(Edited)

Oh my... and then you!

Because look what you did there 👀👇

 

Should an artist stay hungry? No shit! The artist will always be hungry in this world....

 

That's a moment of "breakthrough" and magic, my friend. You did it!

Yesssss! The artist should always stay hungry in the world... ❤️ 💥

Thank you for being you!

!PIMP

and

!LUV

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Thank you, honey! 🙌💛💙❤️
!PIZZA
!invest_vote

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If yours is madness, that makes two of us mad. It's crazy to find happiness in the midst of scarcity. To be free in an authentic way is what those who consider themselves "normal" envy.

You will get ahead on your own. With your head held high. Kisses.
!LUV

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Oh... I think we are all "mad" around here by "normal's" standards ;)

Yet here we are. Connected, happy, forging new paths in the face of adversity and having fun as well in "crazy" times!

So yes. It's the majority that decides... and the majority is not always informed enough or entitled to do so.

I'm so happy I found an alternative majority that is more authentic and curious as well!

Kisses back, P. ❤️

!LUV

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Because this community is so friggin' awesome, HiveBuzz :D

Thanks for letting me know ❤️

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You're welcome @nickydee, it's well deserved! Congrats on your constant involvement on Hive 😊👍🌹

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I've never felt more liberated, clear headed, hopeful, inspired and alive in all my life.

💙

What is crazy for some pair of eyes can be the best thing for others. As stdd says, maybe "crazy" people gather in one place or similar, that is why I also enjoy your posts so much. Some might think it is crazy :D
Thank for the musical background this post has 😇

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(Edited)

:D

Well you're only "crazy" when you're surrounded by people with a different perspective, of course. (And only if they're awfully insecure and rude!)

Everyone on Hive is alternative, open minded and courageous btw. Obviously because they've already stepped out of so many boxes by intentionally walking away from systems that aren't working. See? Clarity of "sight". But, of course, some may call us conspiracy theorists ;)

It's why I as so excited to find you all!

Yep. We aren't crazy at all. We just needed to find the others ❤️

Glad I found you as well!

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Yep, I get it…
People called me crazy more than once.
Giving it all up more than once… I so understand.

Let’s be free! And live, truly live…

Love reading your thoughts and reflections dear.
Thanks for sharing them.
Hope I have more time soon to go deeper into them.
Take care, big hugggg 🤗🤗

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I'm happy to see you here, there or anyway, LittleBee ❤️

Thanks so much for stopping by and staying connected. I don't know how you do it all! :D

Travel safe!

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Thank you so much dear 🤗🥰
You are so welcome… no idea either sometimes hehehe 🤭
I just go with the flow.
Huggsss 🤗🤗

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So, men are legacy creatures. We give resources and time, in exchange for what a woman brings to the table. Women can exert boundaries and withhold what they do. If a man does the same, he gets shamed? Men and women I always say shouldn't be "just friends" normally one has a thing for the other. That makes everything a friendly gesture, fucking loaded. Also, most men will feel inferior to an independent woman that doesn't need a man or if you don't need a man since you're independent you won't get approached seriously. You will fall into the "non-relationship" category for men. Not all because there are definitely men that will treat you amazing being 1 in 3 men under 30 are virgins or haven't had sex in a year. They are down for the long term. I'm not sure what you need to be happy... but I hope me giving information of how men see things may help you navigate the world as it is. Instead of having the men that are trying to get in your pants lie to you.

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I understand this. Now :)

I was a bit naive. I believed in "love" you see. (I still do!)

Yes I think most people are trying to make their way in the world and this 👆 was a business exchange really. Set in place by marriage (which was a business arrangement initially because women weren't allowed to work. Or even read books!)

The only way a woman could survive was to be taken (or bought) into the household of a man to be his "wife" i.e provide him with home admin, conjugal rights and to bear his children. That was the agreement. And it made sense back then. Although it must have fucking sucked to be a woman back then, huh?

We are in 2023. Things have changed. But we haven't yet!

Marriage is an unnecessary, outdated and archaic patriarchal institution. Most people get divorced anyway nowadays, which is also traumatic, expensive and brutal for whole families to go through and more... it's foolish now. Unless it is instituted as what it was... a business arrangement (and I do know couples who have done this... his vow at the wedding was to provide and hers was to do his bidding in exchange).

With a written business agreement everyone is clear on expectations you see. And a business contract seems easier for people to grasp and stick to than a marriage contract nowadays. Because we promise to love each other forever now probably. A totally different thing.

I have met other people who also want less traditional relationships... not easy to find those that are actually genuine about their preferences. But they're around.

To be happy? :D I just need to be loved and accepted for who I am really. And treated equally and respected as an individual. I strongly believe this is what we all need and want at our core. We just, too often, believe we have to offer people reasons to love us now.

I don't think that's love. I think that's "need". And I don't want a relationship based on that because, let's face it, people are only human and this will lead to disappointment and entitlement eventually. This is not love to me. This is ownership. 😬

Yes... I am unusual. I had two unusual, pretty fearlessly themselves, parents with very different perspectives.

And yes you're right :) Most men feel threatened. But there are also some men who enjoy a woman who is strong and independent as well. And who don't give a fuck about society much either. It does take a certain level of intellectual openness, curiosity and courage to walk this way in the world... so it's rare to find them though. :(

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Men that want a super strong woman... aren't super strong men. But men want to be needed...If you don't make your man feel like the most manly man ever, and that you don't need him around, he won't be. Trust me. You're looking at the world through the lens of a woman in a world built by men.

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Or they're so strong and confident that it doesn't bother them. :)

The ones I've met anyway.

Being needed, however, can be a nice feeling. Depending on how much one is needed for sure.

"I'd die without you." can't be that attractive for most people!

So yeah...

"I need you."

Or

"I want you."

Still convinced the latter would end in far less divorces.

Again. I'm not disputing your stats. They're sadly correct. And they're also why I no longer date BTW.

Because that's what you get mostly :/

Not very exciting or inspiring.

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Men don't want a boss at home. Men want peace. We need each other... both ways. It's not a want, it's a need. No strong man will ever want a strong independent woman. If he does she's either way below him as a play thing or she's not that strong.

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Good lord :)

I think we may just need to accept that we disagree on this in full at this juncture.

Thanks for the conversation, Paul. It's always a great way to learn more and I have learned more here. Appreciate your time and effort.

I'm going to respectfully end this now and move on. Lots of comments (!) I've fallen behind with staying connected with all the folks I want to around Hive this week. And you and I are starting to go around in circles now. Your points are taken with interest and I wish you blessings for your journey ahead!

I've answered your last comment on your thread here and am going to get my butt kicked by the kids at Fortnite and unwind a bit for the weekend.

Take care, brother 👣

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Men that want a super strong woman... aren't super strong men

I can tell you that what interests me in a woman is a woman is capable and desires companionship and a partner, not a governor. If I we need to do house repairs, having a partner who is able and willing to help is about the best thing in the world. Hell, having a partner who is able and willing to fix the plumbing on her own is just damn sexy.

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In short... I don't need a daddy anymore (and nobody could beat my dad anyway). I like doing shit myself thanks. It helps me learn and grow. And that's what we call "living".

But teamwork is always more productive and more fun!

So I actually want a Duos partner who is great in the sack, likes making stuff, loves music and isn't afraid to dance in the rain :D

 

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So now I'm dead curious to know... what do YOU look for in a potential partner?

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What do I want in a partner? Same as most men. Loyalty. Preferably if its a woman with a history she is an ex-wife of her previous relationship, not an ex-girlfriend. Lower the number of previous partners the better. It increases the chance of bonding and imprinting upon one another to learn the other persons lifestyle, personality, beliefs. A woman with goals that align with mine. Hobbies don't have to. Ability to look out for the family, whether if its working, not working and staying home, be the queen of the house. Women make 80 percent of all purchasing power. I believe that's right, I may be a little off. Mutual respect, not just a trust but a "beyond any doubt" kind of situation. If she or I were in a situation you know how they would handle it, and what you would need to do if help was necessary. In the bedroom.... Im batting like .900 on female satisfaction. Thats 90 percent. I assume the other 10... was I too fast... or probably too much drinking, lol.

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But I also want that in a partner. 🖕🏼

But we're all satisfied in the bedroom because that is a bonding thing.

"Love", my friend, is a chemical reaction. And men are influenced by neurochemicals as well.

Perhaps if women didn't expect men to get their credit cards out after sex, men wouldn't run away so quickly 😆

Again. Not the stats in question. The thinking and unconscious stereotyping and inevitably doomed exchange

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Again men want sex, that's the only way we perceive that women love us. If you already ,have children... and you don't want it, you need not date at all... because you already gave it away to someone not worthy of being with, decreases the value of it. Men will give time and resources to who they deem as wife material. May not be money, may be a car, a place to stay, any thing to make a woman's life better. The exchange is equal men like to experience women they either give physical affection in return or they can go. You need to not look at it like a woman, men don't give a fuck about the shit women think men want. We want sex and peace. That's it.

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Love is what women always say. Love isn't a feeling for men. Men can have sex with multiple women, and still, be in a loyal relationship. Sex for men isn't love. Women need to feel something normally before sex. Men can get off and be like..."Cool, I'm out". Never feel or really think about it again. The woman they give their time and resources to is the one they love the most. That's how men love. You can believe in it as you see it but men don't. We want you to know you're safe with us, and that we want to have your ankles in our hands, lol. Easy peezy.

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Love is a choice and an action after the neurochemicals have subsided.

Usually between one and two years roughly 👍🏼

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Also... if everyone says your crazy though... it may be you. That is the go to cop out for everyone who won't admit their wrong doings as well. They want to paint themselves in the light. You just need not deal.

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You guys are all so supportive around here :D

Thanks, darlin'

I've come to appreciate that only the "crazies" are worth listening to mostly. They seem to have stepped outside of the little boxes and are pointing out the uncomfortable truths and paving the way forward to change.

Happy to be among them and considered one of 'em 👍😉

but you're right here as well. The fist line of defense of any toxic system or person is to call crazy on anyone who tries to change it.

"conspiracy theorist" anyone? 👈 The sneakier way to gaslight and discredit. Now accepted without question worldwide. Same same.

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No matter what people say or how many times they call you crazy, the important thing is that you are truly happy and free.❤️

And this!

And if you build a life on an unforeseeable future which is exactly what the future is ...
you may miss living a life entirely.

Have to let it sink in

Love the tunes by the way, especially the last one.

!LUV

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Thank you, sister :)
 

No matter what people say or how many times they call you crazy, the important thing is that you are truly happy and free.

 

I found I was only "crazy" because I wasn't being me after all that searching and personal growth. Ya just gotta find the others. There is no "right" way... to Be ❤️

 

Love the tunes by the way, especially the last one.

 

I think they pretty much nailed it 👍 (see my response above :D )

Isn't it incredible that so many great minds can ponder questions and the meaning of life for years, write theories and books trying to find solutions and share philosophies...

and a musician can write one song and answer everything, in a few verses, in a way that resonates with everyone - and that we can all understand without even thinking?

Magic. 💥

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There is no "right" way... to Be ❤️

Truly :) I think that's what life is all about, finding what really make our souls glow and feel alive, then doing them no matter what others say or think.

and a musician can write one song and answer everything, in a few verses, in a way that resonates with everyone - and that we can all understand without even thinking?
Magic. 💥

Couldn't agree less with this :)

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(Edited)

That is how we learn to live fully 🖕🏼

Learning to be ourselves fully yes!

Do you mean couldn't agree less? Or more? :D

Both are acceptable and correct. Of course. Because you're totally allowed to Be You! ❤️

And also because I'm eternally curious!

Loving the posts I'm finding for this prompt btw. Nice one!!! 💥

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Do you mean couldn't agree less? Or more? :D

Haha, I simply mean I don't disagree :)

Thank you. You 're all making me learn through this prompt :)
!LUV

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😆

Sorry. I had to check because I'm curious and I'd hate to miss something!

And me too ❤️

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Thanks for your work to empower women and your support for my minor rants and creating, LOH ❤️

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(Edited)

I have a friend, whom I love very much, who also is "a human being with schizophrenic reactions." (I love the way you exploded the label there.) She is homeless and stops by at random times; coincidentally (perhaps) she stopped by a few hours ago while I was just finishing reading this. We went for a night walk through town. At times she is extremely delightful; during her freak outs, it's often too much for me. Her mental state can be seen as a sane response to the trauma she has experienced; there are rare instances when she speaks with the wisdom of a shaman, though I don't think she can put things together as well as Jerry seems to have done. She has helped me immensely with learning to be okay with all the ways that I don't fit in the 'normal' world, with learning to just be and live more freely. Through her, I've also learned there are some 'normal' things I'm not willing to give up, that I actually embrace and conform to and even enforce: like working a job to pay bills and rent an apartment, and not allowing her homeless friends to squat in the hallway of our apartment building. All in all, she is a constant catalyst for more conscious decision-making on my part (on all our parts): her so-called crazy is contributing to the forward motion of our community; she is a significant addition to our conversation. Who knows where we are going. It's a synthesis. But I think anyone who stands outside the norm is in some way leading, has in some way broached new ground and expanded what is possible.

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I would LOVE to both read and promote a full story about this... as you have shared it so wonderfully.

Thank you for this and the time and effort you've taken to engage, because this is such an important conversation for many people who aren't able to share this themselves.

And you are an amazing human to have stayed in touch with her, despite her alternative perspective and journey! So many would've turned away in fear. Mostly fear of judgement on them personally! You are brave, huh? 👀

Yes to trauma and the resultant reactions. It's totally logical when you take the time to find out more about people with these reaction's experience. One can even begin to make sense of the very lateral but pretty logical hallucinations / "voices" etc - and the information that the mind is trying to bring to light so the person can actually heal.

Sad then... that mainstream doctors assume this is "insanity" and "psychosis" blah blah...

and then medicate the symptoms to alleviate the "messages" - no healing possible then, right?

This may interest you?

https://exploringyourmind.com/gregory-batesons-double-bind-theory/

and more

https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/06/shamanic-view-mental-illness-2/

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Yes, fear of judgement. She's definitely helping me be free of that.

The story has been coming out, in pieces, through many of the short stories and poems I've written over the past year. There is much more that can be written...

Both articles are of interest, thank you. They offer a lot to work through and consider.

It's nice to talk to someone who gets it to this degree. Thank you. :)

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Oh ditto my friend :D

And more folks will understand more if we carry on sharing

Then people may actually get decent help and care!

Stay you ❤️‍🔥

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I thought schizophrenia was a chemical imbalance???

!PIMP

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(Edited)

Nope.

They still haven't figured it out.

But I reckon Bateson already nailed it and, as usual, because he's not a medical doctor they've ignored him

The whole chemical imbalance hypothesis has also lost ground completely.

Regarding depression and a host of other categories of reactions.

It was more bullshit by big pharma and the likes to punt meds by the looks of it.

Follow the money again 🤨

Funny you asked as this content has been forefront and center of my mind for the last couple of weeks again. I still need to finish this part off.

Procrastination is a drug according to @pendaris - gwash you are funny!

Haven't read that full post as was tired and am saving it for my morning coffee 😁

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I'll have to check out his post too :)

So that's why the drugs don't cause people to completely stop doing what they want to stop doing... I'll have to read those articles soon.

!LUV

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The drugs just dope people up so hectically that they can barely see straight

It's horrific and inhumane

Chemical lobotomy

One day we will look back at these times with stunned disbelief that this was common practice

And it's ALL about selling pharmaceuticals, my friend

The psychiatry industry even knows it is. It's all available online, you know.

The history of how this came about.

In fact... I stuck it up on Hive :)

Chapter 2 of Perfect

But feedback is that it's too academic so I need to put it all into layman's terms and make it easier to understand for people who don't know the jargon

Planning to do a video to explain it all simply 👍🏼

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Sounds like those companies need to be forced to account for their actions...

!PIZZA !ALIVE !LOL

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One would hope.

Too rich. Too powerful. Untouchable. It is what it is.

The only way it can be done is by sharing information faster than they can switch lanes.

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And by people seeing what it does to those around them, and getting help for them. It stops one person at a time :) ...

!LOL !PIMP

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Huh!

I like your thinking.

Again :D

And thanks for hittin' me up 😁💥

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(Edited)

  • Love that you feel Alive these days!

  • Did not know that about your pops 😥🤗🤗

  • The only way to be is mad.

!PIMP
!WINE
!PIZZA

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It's the meeting of the like minded souls, misfit, rebels and maybe even outcasts around here that did that 👍🏼

Brought me back to life emotionally.

Mad? The majority dictates who is sane and, seriously, who would take advice from a majority that is mostly medicated and treading water because they're miserable and enslaved.

Nah. Nobody around here is mad. They're just not keen on keeping up the facade anymore.

I think, in times like these, when the writing is pretty much on the wall in bright red paint, anyone who's still buying into The Dream and hoping they can beat the house is insane.

And you know what they say the definition of insanity is?

"Doing the same thing and expecting different results."

So yeah. So much for sane and normal these days.

Better to be awake and figuring out a way around it now. Crypto and Web3 are great working solutions

Even the possibility that we can create better systems is enough to keep the fire burning now. Hope is a remarkable thing.

But if we don't change we'll fuck this up as well. And this judgement? And trying to pigeon hole human beings and force them to conform?

That's just not very Web3 now is it? :D

Nope. NOBODY is Crazy. The end.

Same principles as freedom of speech thing. And actually detrimental to it.

Unless they're hurting themselves or others intentionally. Of course. Then we should eat them 🤨

Love your track. May learn to play it badly on the guitar...

Thanks for hittin' me up! Love PIMP. Still makes me smile every time 😁

Yeah. My dad. What a legend. His farewell note was hilarious. He went out on his own terms and with style. Sucked for us. But he was done and it was his choice. I understand it and have to respect that. ❤️❤️‍🔥💥

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And you still managed to squeeze in three tunes for TTT!

I think its great to think I'm fucked because it shows you are self aware and you can be happy with that. Life does seem to be an endless clusterfunk of challenges and trials. Fuck em all is what I always say! :OD

I seem to be swearing a lot. I do try and reign that in on other peoples posts but couldn't help myself.

And yer still hot ;OD

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Music is instrumental in keeping the momentum (pun intended because puns are underrated)

Yeah and thanks. :) Self awarenss isn't always so sparkly but truth makes for more clarity which makes for better decisions

Absolutely no need to reign anything in around here. Not anymore. I've seen too fuckin' much to be shocked easily

Or any anymore

"Bad" language is, most certainly, no longer on the list of "shocking". Geesh... I have bigger fish to fry. We all do, in truth. But yes. We should cater for those lucky souls who've been exposed to less in the world.

Around here you're totally safe to be yourself in full, however 👍🏼

Ah La Vie... it's not for lightweights at times and simply accepting this is far less stressful. No point in fighting what is a natural part of the experience

Also fuck them. Fuck that. And fuckit, quite frankly.

And they say we should give less fucks

Looks like they were wrong. Again :D

Hah... you charmer you... some days from a distance in the right light if you're into scars and journeying

I must also add that losing the "hot" has been really liberating in many ways. Men out here are super hectic and they've stopped messing with me now

"Hot" never got me into anything but hot water in South Africa.

But thanks for your "youness"

You're fuckin' cool 😎

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There are few things punnier than a good punning!

I have a book about giving less fucks. I won it on Hive when it was Steemit. The guy who wrote the post ran a contest which was to tell him why in the comment section that we deserved to win a copy of the book and my comment was something along the lines of I couldn't give a fuck if I win and I did!

Lol. Life is too short for the fuckery!

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😆

Genius, Mr M! Nicely done 👏

Yep. Carpe fuckin' Diem. 💥

And pass the donuts, please 👍🏼

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Crazy? I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are <3

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I heard that too and I'd have to agree in full ❤️😊

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I'm finally getting to catch up to some things.

I think the right term is "This. All of this. Yes. (With coffee)" is the right response. Materialistic goods don't bring about inner peace. The rat race is still just a race. Evenings spent with a hot drink listening to the rain pour down with thunder in the background is balm for the soul; a large McMansion or yacht is not needed.

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It's like that...

without the pressure of having to maintain a "luxurious" lifestyle.

Personally... opulence just makes me uncomfortable these days.

Especially having walked in the vast majority of my country's shoes for these last years.

It's kind of embarrassing. How privileged some of our population are. And a vast minority at that :/

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Woah!!! Lot's to take in here, holy shitballs Batman! I read your posts and most of the comments and my conclusions are:

  • Some people really don't have a fuckin clue and try to speak on behalf of all of their gender - now that's madness!
  • You have a great understanding of human nature and have a great sense of humour!
  • Things will work out for you in the long run, you just need to be careful who you trust and trust your gut instinct, which is rarely wrong in my experience.
  • You picked out three cracking tunes to sum up your post.
  • I had never heard of Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine and really enjoyed it.
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😆

You should see inside my brain at 3am when something's developing... 👀

Awesome feedback!

Yeah!

Stereotyping is basically dogma and we all know how that works out for humanity.

Why thank you. The only thing I really regretted losing was my sense of humour. It's finally making its way home.

Yeah - I just discovered that song. It's that...

"There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine"

There's the answer to pretty much everything, right there 👆

Musicians, huh? They manage to say everything and solve the mysteries of the universe in one song. I dunno know they do that! 👀

Thanks for stopping by :D

!LUV

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You are not crazy, you're doing what's right for you and your son ♥️ I hope you have found the right place this time! You deserve some happiness and peace.

!PIZZA !ALIVE !LOL !PIMP

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Thanks angel :)

It's not this town. Still too busy here but it's a good place to rest a bit and (hopefully and don't tempt anything) gain some ground again.

Hold fingers and toes

!LUV

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Still too busy here

Maybe you can get a place in the outskirts? I hope you are enjoying exploring :) Did you see the penguins yet???

!PIZZA !ALIVE !LOL

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Still too tired to make it to the Penguins 🤨

The Bate's Motel and the move wore me out!

There are a couple of beautiful little villages nearby and thats The Plan

But one has to be open to The Plan falling apart and changes to The Plan

Always 😁

Transport first.

Then further away from main streets and the hustle and bustle 👍🏼

It's all good. I've learned to wait ;)

!LUV

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I hope you can get rested soon :) I know it's frustrating when you want to explore but are too tired 😂

!PIZZA !ALIVE !LOL

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Thanks, angel.

I should but find it hard to lie down. Too much I still want to do so...

I'm going to try and slow down for a few days and rest up now 👍🏼

Or "now now" as we say out here

Which is a way of not committing to when but saying kinda soon 😆

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I've never heard that saying 😂 It sounds like a good plan though!

!PIZZA

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Oh you should try it.

It works brilliantly! 😈

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(Edited)

Loving exploring

Even the gritty bits are learning you know.

There's a "Location" nearby and I'm now learning exactly how fucked you truly are in this area if you're poor and have a substance abuse problem

Nothing around here to help addicts or families, yet this is a hot spot for alcoholism and drug addiction because of Apartheid

Government has done nothing to remedy it or provide the community with any treatment facilities or solutions

Of course

Fucking corrupt, greedy, useless liars. The lot of 'em.

The coastline, however, is immaculate and incredibly beautiful 👀

One of a kind 👍🏼

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It sounds a place outside of the city, but close enough to get to work? Is getting a vehicle an option?

!PIZZA !ALIVE !LUV

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2 hours from the CBD.

Nope.

Not until I save for one. Cars are pretty expensive out here. We're at the tip of Africa after all.

Maybe a scooter. And the next village away where it's a bit quiter

And and come in to buy groceries

Until I can save for a car again. Or a horse!

Right now I can walk everywhere here. It's that small. It's pretty⁶ cool. But still too busy on the main roads

Pringle Bay was far more peaceful.

Except for the people :D Their mouths were pretty busy!

The people I've met around here are pretty brilliant. Far less full of nonsense. Straight up 👍🏼

So far...

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Until I can save for a car again. Or a horse!

Have you considered getting a goat or two? They can make great cart and pack animals... And they are cheaper to feed than either a car or horse. And must be cheaper to care for than either a car or horse.

!PIZZA !ALIVE

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Boy you are good!

And milk. And cheese.

Superb!

!LUV it!

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Did you decide to get a goat???

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😆

First I need a cottage and a garden!

One step at a time, my friend :)

!LUV

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It might be worth buying commercial feed for it for a while to have transportation 😂

!LUV !PIMP

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😆

Cheaper than petrol and I could get some free cheese from the deal!

But goats can be hardcore, you know! Kevin!

!LUV

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You just need to find the right goat :) ...

!PIZZA !ALIVE !PIMP

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There is a right goat??? 👀

Okay... I'll keep my eyes peeled. But goats, ya know! 😅

You gotta love them. You can't beat great character and a f*ck that attitude in 2023. All goats are good! But that Kevin... he's a right **** that Kevin! 🙄😆❤️

untitled.gif

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🤣 the right goat is one who is willing, and responsive to you (if you hope to have the goat help you with a cart)

So choose wisely 😂

!LUV

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Good lord, man!

That's no good! I always choose the challenge instead of the easy path.

This'll end badly and I'll be carrying the goat as well! :/

 

untitled.gif

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This'll end badly and I'll be carrying the goat as well! :/

🤣 I'm sure your goat will be the best :) ...

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(Edited)

The best at what? 😏

See? It's complicated!

I don't need the best goat. I just want a goat who helps me carry the load, doesn't head-butt me and who doesn't steal my food 👍

So not Kevin. But then if I want some good fun and a really good belly laugh, Kevin would be the best goat by far.

You can find the best in all goats, you know... you just have to know what to look for.

❤️

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And now I'm going to wander around in the sunshine and, maybe, meet some goats and other interesting animals. 👣

It's a beautiful day in Africa. 💥 :)

Much love, darling!

!LUV

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