Back to Hive and trying to avoid a nervous breakdown

Where have I been? How am I?

My blogging has fallen to the wayside recently and I am eager to get back to it. So without making any grand plans, here I am and I feel good to be saying hello to you all once again. Life has been busy recently and I've let a lot get to me, and as such have been getting on my wife's nerves, she lost her rag with me the other day and I totally understand her.

I haven't been dealing with my health concerns at all well, that my kidney transplant is beginning to show signs of failing and a second op will be required in the not all that distant future.

I've become rather despondent. Even the stuff I love doing has become a chore. I don't want to do it. I don't care. I'm going to die, that's that.

FFS!

So I have decided that part of this has been a major dip in exercise and being negative about a lot of things. I shall write about how I tackle this, as I suspect other people struggle with their mental well-being on here too?

With all of this said, we have been to some events and have been out on a few walks. The clocks go forward soon and the weather should get better too.

How do I plan to make things better?

• Stop overcomplicating life. This boils down to procrastination where I plan stuff, plan it some more, oh and plan it again but never actually do the thing I intended to do.
• How tech is driving me nuts. This is mostly a work thing, can be contained, trying to learn too many new tech stacks, when I don't really need to worry about half of them, especially where front-end frameworks are concerned.
• Turning my back on a lot of social media and concentrating on one or two, not the whole flipping lot!
• Cutting ties with stuff that doesn't bloody matter - if it stresses me out, is not necessary that I keep on doing it, then chuck it in the hypothetical bin!

Recent goings on (good stuff!)

Winter is gradually morphing into spring and the skies are looking better at sunset. The skylarks are back too! I sampled some sounds the other night, should get those up on the Hive Sound LIbrary, which I've some new tools for and should get writing up - that's another post.

The Modular Cafe last week was especially good and in the photo above, one of the members was demonstrating his Hohner bass keyboard which he had purchased quite recently off Ebay for no more than £250 which is probably quite a bargain for something made in the 1960s. It sounded really good, more like a bassy Rhodes.

Anthony demonstrating Notch, the audio visual powerhouse tool that is used for large stage performances along with some of his own music. Great presentation and I might have some video too, if I do, watch out for some 3speak content in coming days.

Later that same evening, this gentleman came along with a didgeridoo that I played in tandem with two other people on their synths, jamming away for a good ten minutes uninterrupted. Quite some skill to play this instrument for that length of time.

We have been out exploring our new home area since we moved here nearly two years ago. We have had a little bit of spare time recently to roam and allow ourselves spare time, other than running around after others so much - part of our stress recently.

the picture above shows the old market cross, remains of at least in the Berkshire town of Thatcham.

Spring is coming along rather well, that is for sure!

We went to Reading University's Great Hall on Friday to listen to The London Film Orchestra play music from film and TV, featuring the music of Hans Zimmer, John Williams and others. It was a lovely evening, the musicians top notch and would love to see them again.

I recently got my Arturia keyboard out to begin exploring chords properly and broaden my knowledge, and I upgrade Ableton to version 12, which is all very exciting.

Finally some photos of doors.... I love doors don't you?