[Letters to Loreena] ❖ Snow dreams ❖

I am saying that you are mine, but, clearly, no one belongs to anyone but himself; it's just that I feel you inside me and that's why maybe I use this phrase, which doesn't mean to bind you, because my love exists only if you keep your wings.

This morning I was sore. I got out of bed many times looking for water, a menthol cream to put on my temples and, of course, I thought of you. Sometimes I am afraid, when these episodes happen, that I will fall asleep and never wake up again. I would leave behind so many things... so many loves... and you, my sweet Loreena.

Many times, when the migraine comes, I cry. And I also talk to myself, I tell myself that I can't be a coward, that that little bird that visits me isn't, even though it's tiny and flashy. And the sky and tree branches are always enjoyable, as well as dangerous. The fact is that you can't live all the time immersed in worry and avoiding adventures for fear of danger. So that's why I talk to myself, I talk to myself a lot and in that inner conversation, I incite myself to dream... Would it relieve some of the frost on my fridge? I thought. However, I didn't go looking for those cold crystals to put on my forehead. I decided to dream of them.

This is how I saw us in a snowy landscape. We were on top of a peak, while a shy drizzle of snowflakes fell; fluff, which would soon turn the landscape into a white paradise and we could walk together up to the pines, leaving behind our footprints, so symmetrical, so smooth on that cold path that would shine just by feeling our steps.

There was a little fog too, and we heard in the distance the howl of a wolf, which we soon saw playing with its equal. They licked their snouts and rolled around in the snow.

Your hands were warm despite the cold and mine too. We laughed because when we held hands we felt the warmth that began to run through our bodies.

I've dreamed of us in that cabin too, with the roof covered with snowy frost. There in the midst of faint citrus smells, being so happy, among soft melodies of wind and strings.

There is a small glass window through which we look out to see the moose. They visit the courtyard, where cherry and tangerine trees bloom in the spring. There they look for the finest shoots and run around, in a beautiful dance of horns and bliss.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Let's listen to this music, while I prepare it. I can't wait to hug you, I can't wait to hold you close to my chest, so you can hear my heartbeat when it speaks to you. I know yours will be a little accelerated, like when you walk in a hurry to get to this cabin soon, after work. Now I am immersed in your tender, blue gaze, like every sunrise, when I wake up and the dream remains in me, so vivid, so true.

It's only a dream, Loreena, my love, my true love.

Other letters to Loreena
[Letters to Loreena] ❖ I choose not to know you but it's insane, and I forgive me ❖
[Letters to Loreena] ❖ Weekend memory chests ❖