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I have trained myself by ear on the kemence since 2020. After being inspired by Turkish and Cretan music which is a taste I shared with an Afghan/Turkish/American friend (who plays the Oud in The Butterfly's Burden by Kelebek Evrimi) I decided to start my traditional music journey on a violin I bought for 40 dollars off a restaurant wall in 2019 which I restructured into a three string instrument to go on the knee.

I had already been practicing odd numbered rhythms 7s and 9s and 10s and been learning to improvise on them with my guitar. I really loved an 11 beat rhythm as well - this developed into learning to improvise free-form in many scales in over 30 different rhythms. I had yet to explore with an instrument that allowed me to play intervals outside of western 12 tone equal temperament (chromatic tuning).

The knee-violin was my beginning. On this frankenstein instrument I learned important techniques for the bow and for fingering - later I was able to purchase a kemence from what I earned for a voiceover job I did for a museum in the Netherlands. I first learned western tonality on the instrument (that is equal tempered 12 tone tuning) as I did not understand the point of microtones. If you haven't realised yet, a hall mark of my journey here has been reinventing the wheel. While this has been a slow process of getting to a point of proficiency in some ways - I feel that learning something as knowledge from within by understanding the processes is a truer way of learning and builds the concrete foundation to advance to far greater heights than just simply copying what is done.

In time, by listening to both Turkish Makam and Indian Raga repetitively (as well as Albanian polyphony and traditional Bulgarian Choir music and other traditional musics in the Balkan regions) - I slowly started to understand from an inner knowledge perspective. I trained my ear to be configured to truer intervals. The shift was slow but then there was a definite click into a realisation of the difference and the need to point my compass in the trajectory of original traditional disciplines in order to understand it as a living knowledge more deeply.

Later and more recently, I got confirmation from more than one musician about justonic intonation and started to really feel and understand microtones specifically through their relationship with the tonic. No longer did I discard these previously perceived 'out of tune' notes with my western conditioned ear as noise. This particular break through was especially helped from going to see an Indian Classical teacher in Freo (Branan Silvius) who went to a very specific school in Varanasi that taught about fine tune specificity with tone and understanding these relationships consciously.

More recently, I can hear how western music is kind of out of tune - it's still beautiful and is a lovely expression of the human but this realisation of tone and the relationships of intervals and a return to an original tuning structure - feeling it, genuinely - was a big ledge of understanding my mind finally grasped.

This little seed grew and is still growing. To return to the spirit of original musics through discovering true tone. I am still not perfect and do not claim to be but understand that there is so much lost in music through the translation into the 12 tone equal tempered system. In Turkish music there is over 50 komas in one octave in theory - no, not all of them are used at once but 'accidental notes' within Makams which are notes with microtonal intervals are accessed through notating these komas.

In practice in both Raga and Makam - you cannot write down these intervals. They're not something to be defined with language or with symbol. They are specific mathematical relationships that can be known through the focus of the ear on the relationships between the tones - the mind is a science and it needs to be respected. These intervals need to be learned by the ear through repetition and training.

I do not know exactly what I do or understand where I go intuitively at times - I just do it - I use a different kind of mind and in doing - the need to explain it becomes secondary. Intellect becomes a handicap in this realm. Experience through knowing is knowledge passed through the generations and is not to be written down. Nor can it be. We have many languages and we speak them through many means unknown to the physical senses. This much must be acknowledged and it must be understood to truly progress on the path of true knowledge.

Here is an experiment in Kurdi Makam - an improvisation with no set music - I call it an experiment because I know Makams have rules and I don't think I am following the rules. I have a book on Makam - it says play this cadence here and that cadence there - I don't speak this language - I play through feel and in feeling I communicate. Music is a language, through it we can focus a great deal of energy and intention - and it must be shared with people.

I am only going by the feel that I have been impressed with by listening to recordings repetitively in order to understand how a Makam should be feeling - I didn't sit down and decide - this cadence is here and that cadence is there and now this is correct. To me this is the wrong way of learning.

I know and realise all the rules of Makam are specific. But I feel there is a deeper root to all of these musics - I wish to understand them all intrinsically to find the source. I need teachers however, I need to submit to disciplines - I need to get this from real people. And that is why I wish to go to Crete to understand what it is I am doing and to put names to it - to put a bracket around this or that under this or that traditional disciplines in order to give it greater clarity, validity and authenticity than just be the imaginings of a boy who decided to pick up a cultural instrument and appropriate. I didn't even mean to buy a kemence, I intended to buy a Cretan Lyra - I didn't even know what the difference was. I bought this from Ankara on Ebay with no idea what I was buying - I just decided to spend 750 USD and hope I was getting something close to what I was aiming for. I didn't buy this in Turkey when I was there, I bought this in Australia.

I sincerely hope to find a way to marry what it is that I do, in the methods of feel and playing by ear - with tradition - or at least understand the difference - then by knowing the boundaries around a tradition, I can be aware of when I am breaking their rules and be confident in calling something my own thing.

People like Ross Daly have already travelled this path for so long and have studied various music disciplines to come to a universal understanding that still has relevance in traditional culture. He, like me, has no roots in any of these culture - being born in Ireland. I am 3rd generation Australian with an 1/8th Chinese and a 1/16th Italian and the rest a motley mix of English, Irish and Scottish - maybe a tinge of Eastern European, I'm not sure - I did a DNA test - it wasn't very accurate - but my point is - I'm running blind without a culture but within this - I also have a great strength in that I am also not bound to any one culture's discipline.

In addition to all of this, I'm also afraid of showing disrespect to tradition in that in my journey I have already learned that my progressive western mind and ear have been wrong in so many ways I have they thought were right. I wish to show the utmost of cultural respect to these disciplines while also having the right to add my own impetus to things to truly create new music from a universal music imagination. I wish no longer to be the western elephant that just stomps on everything then makes his own and says - ah, this is culture. World music is by far the vaster and deeper universe than all western disciplines combined and yet the west puts it in this little box like a conquering culture demonizing the previous cultures Gods and rights. We must start showing respect for these disciplines, the spirit that we miss by throwing the baby of true tone and traditional discipline out with the bathwater of cultural prejudice - is a great impingement of our ability to walk the path of true knowledge.

I feel I have SO far to go in learning all different types of music to really bring it all together. I know I need to continue trusting myself and the little inclinations that lead me to realisations are screaming at me - GO AND GET A TEACHER!

I have been reading more recently in the book The Mysticism of Sound and Music by Hazrat Inayat Khan about the old ways of teaching - about repetition - in call and response with a master or teacher and not with visual. In my practice I have been working on training myself by detaching from a focus on technique and getting away from dependence on the use of sight so there is a a direct link between feeling and expression from the mind to the fingers without going through any other senses. The same way one would use a voice. Where technique is not focused on but learned through feeling and through aiming at an outcome of feel. I feel this is the correct way forward -- this ensures there is no barrier between the mind and the instrument. Once enough technique has been learned and conditioned in the body then by using the feel of the sound created - alone - more fine tuned technique can be generated without actually focusing on the technique. The ear becomes the fingers and the mind becomes the instrument. This is the level of proficiency and mastering I wish with all instruments - through training with many instruments in many disciplines - these tools become appendages of the body - doorways to other worlds. I wish to learn from teachers. I want to learn via the old methods. I feel my rebellious spirit and my fire of independence can be kept in check to recognize the value of a teacher student relationship. I'm ready to learn.

ps. Also, this kemence has been through a lot. I put violin transducers on it to make it semi electric (which actually works really well, even picks up harmonics) thus the paint to cover this - professional musicians will looks at the paint and consider this is what an amateur would do - yes, I agree, you don't paint the soundboard it affects the sound. As you can see, years of playing have somehow made it possible for this instrument to be felt through the paint. I have also remade tuning pegs out of jarrah pieces I put on a lathe (I've ordered pegs from Turkiye and waited a long time, they never came), so I had to figure it out myself. The bow I have remade with horse hair I ordered from China and a bit of leather from a dumpstered couch. I'm due an upgrade. Thanks to a large donation from someone close, I'm getting something quite special - you'll see... I won't speak about it until you see it. 🤫

Thanks everyone, so much for your support - aside from the donation for the instrument, I have received almost 3000 dollars from so many beautiful and generous people and I may yet get the quick response grant for 3000 from Regional Arts WA - more than enough to cover my costs. I promise to put what excess I make into an amazing and accessible event in the South-West. See you soon x ❤️

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