There are a lot of seemingly simple things we as a species simply don't understand. For example, we don't actually know what trees are. There's no clear definition that fits the bill. Palm trees and banana trees aren't quite trees at all from a physical viewpoint, and genetically, oaks are closer to orchids than pines.

We also don't really understand how bicycles work. Ridiculous, I know.

Some of these mysteries can be solved with maths or biology. Others I hold out less hope for, such as Tinnitus.

When I first got tinnitus, I vaguely remember it was after I got home from a 5 day heavy metal festival. The ringing of my ears was nothing new, but the fact it never went away was.

Since then, over 15 years ago, I've been keeping an eye on developments of tinnitus research, even speaking with research teams in the University of Leicester who had invited me over for tests with their new methods.

You tend to hear about these groundbreaking discoveries which could cure this and that, including tinnitus. But you rarely hear anything after that - because there is a robust system of trials that most things fail to pass through.

It's all very exciting to hear about it on pop-sci websites and buzzfeed, but so far it has accomplished nothing but false hope. There is, still, after decades of trying, no step forward when it comes to tinnitus.

We seem to have the same level of understanding as we always did, and the main 'treatment' is essentially to 'get over it, bro'. Put on a fan to distract you.

For me, It's usually fine. I've learnt to overcome it with the rare occasion where I'm in a beautiful moment of silence, only to find the now very obvious EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE taking that silence away from me.

_Eeeeeeeeeee

But for others, it's so much worse. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago about this. It can drive people mad, it can make people suicidal, and it can destroy relationships. Some people talk of having 5 or 6 fans blasting in their face at night in bed just to try and drown it out so they can sleep.

This scared me a lot so ever since I got it, I've been so much more careful. No loud headphones, avoid clubs, don't poke myself in the ear with a knife, common sense stuff.

But, alas, within 24 hours of posting my previous blog about tinnitus last month, I randomly acquired a new tinnitus.

I was dismayed, to say the least. This one was much worse than what I've gotten used to. Instead of the high-pitched squealing that takes up real estate in no particular physical location, this was a low Eb Ooooooooooo, specifically in my left ear only.

Now that is distracting.

What made matters worse is that I could almost feel it. It's hard to describe but feels almost like physical pressure being applied from the outside of my body, onto something inside my ear, and it creates the illusion of both being cooler and warmer than my natural temperature. I dunno. It's very subtle.

This made me feel like I just had a simple ear infection. Or perhaps stress, as I had a very stressful time at work, the most stressed I've felt in a very long time. I also got neck pain around the same time which could have been the cause. I was wracking my brain, what on earth caused this? How can I stop it?

At first, it seemed to come and go. Some days it was really upsettingly loud and it made listening to things like shows and music hard, as they started sounding sharp and uncomfortable. I would be playing Zelda with my girlfriend and all I could think about was Ooooooooooooo.

Other times, it was barely noticeable, and if the Air con was on, I couldn't even tell.

Then there was a good week or so where it just stayed steady, and that's when I called in the evil insurance card and headed to the evil hospital.

Frustratingly, it was on one of its quiet days I hadn't heard in a week, almost imperceptible. So the doctor was testing me and got nothing. Gave me B12 pills lol. Apparently my hearing is perfect which is definitely not true, and I have no infection or anything else. So I went home.

But it never relented.

I started to learn more about just how different this tinnitus was to my usual. I noticed when I moved or shook my head, it would ebb and flow. If I flicked my head up rapidly, it would disappear for a fraction of a second, and then slowly fade back into existence. If I flicked my head downwards, it would disappear for only a brief iota and immediately return.

I started to wonder if this was related to blood pressure, as when I was in hospital they did test this and I was a little high (usually mines is a little low but I had coffee. Either way it was nothing abnormal in isolation).

Naturally I started googling things and getting worried I had a brain tumour or an incoming stroke, as I started to read that pulsatile tinnitus has many causes, most of them things you might die from, but some benign causes.

Equipped with this new knowledge and fear, I went back hospital and had them check again, informing them of my suspicions that this is related to blood flow/pressure. I reiterated that my hearing was fine, I don't smoke, barely drink, fairly active lifestyle yadda yadda.

Conclusion?

No idea!!

Of course. So they scheduled me for an MRI at a later date once the insurance went through, but in the meantime they handed me some random pills that they even admitted was based on a small chance of something loosely related. Googling them and I found articles specifically saying they make tinnitus worse So that's a great start. But fuck it, doctors orders right?

So on Sunday (2 days ago), I took one of the pills before bed as instructed.

I wake up and... I hear nothing. Well, I still hear my normal tinnitus but to me, that counts as nothing.

Well, it comes and goes so let's see. Monday passed, and now we're 10am on Tuesday. Nothing.

Wtf?

Two days without it never happened before. I figured it couldn't be the meds, just a coincidence, since the doctor didn't really know what they were giving me on just the vague suspicion of slight nerve damage. After a single pill the night before, how can that be a sufficient cure?

Well, I did notice before I went to bed last night it was quietly creeping back - this seems just like an infection or something which can start crawling back when the medications effects start wearing off. So I was encouraged to take another and so far, so good.

I have literally no understanding of how or why - neither do the doctors - but I've asked them to hold off on the MRI for now.

I suspect this is not a cure but a band-aid, as my ear still has that weird, subtle feeling, almost as if the tinnitus is trapped behind a gate reaching for the key on the ground, desperate to get out and start Ooooooo-ing again in all its glory.

That alone is fairly distracting, but it's certainly an improvement.

If I end up going for the MRI or end up cured, or totally deaf, I'll update here.

For now... a happy shrug of the shoulders, I suppose? Fingers crossed!

_{Nice try, AI, nice try}