Seeing Myself in my Students

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After an exam period, us teachers are met with PTC - Parent-teacher conference. (I remember it as 'parent's evening but whatever).

It's a pretty good day for me, as music education is so phenomenally low on the list of priorities for parents, students and schools, that I'm lucky to get a single parent across an entire school year of PTC's. I basically get to sit on my ass for 8 hours, noodling on the guitar, watch Star Trek or maybe do some actual work.

Well, today I have been visited by TWO PARENTS... in a single day!

I was shocked. But it was an enjoyable experience for me for a couple of reasons.

It reminds me... I'm actually pretty good at my job

Explaining students' grades to their parents reminds me of a time when I used to feel passionate about the job in its entirety. I lost this passion long ago. To be clear, I still love teaching music, and I put a disproportionate amount of time into classes, materials, and everything else.

It's just the rest that bums me out. Paperwork, Calendars, Meetings. It doesn't help that I was made the Head of Department against my will. More meetings. More paperwork. Checking and snitching on lower staff, statistics, speeches and presentations. Ugh. Just let me teach, damn it.

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So, when I talk to parents, all my teaching gets justified as I can quickly explain why, how, when, and what to do next. Students quickly give up trying to find excuses and acknowledge what they're missing out.

It reminds me... I could do better.

Any student without specific mental issues should have no reason to get anything less than an A. There are many factors to consider when a student does not, but there is always some blame that has to go on the teacher. I am very much aware that my classes could be better - I imagine this is a lifelong journey of constant refinement and adaptation depending on students' levels and propensity to learn.

It is not uncommon for a class in any subject to have all extremes, from bored genius, to bored idiot, passionate genius, and hyperactive rebel. In my case specifically, as an English speaking school in China, we also have a not-insignificant number of students who simply cannot understand English. But these barriers can almost always be overcome with the right teaching methods and considerations.

In some cases, it simply can't. In a previous year, we had a 190cm-tall 22-year old student in Grade 11. He was held back in US schools like 5 years, unable to graduate. So he came back to China where he knew he would graduate regardless. So what did he do? Continue to be a dropout nobody with that kind of pseudo-gangster basketball player guy; "nah'mean bruh?" It was the first time a student exclusively referred to me as Bruh.

Slightly creepy and probably illegal factors having a full-grown adult learning together with children aside, there was just no way any teacher could get through to this guy. There was a lot more complex and problematic things going on we didn't know about, and nothing I could have done would have helped him raise his GPA above 0.5.

But, this is quite an extreme scenario. In all other cases, a healthy-minded student should be guided by teachers to that A-grade potential, and if not, we need to acknowledge how much of that shortcoming is on the individual teachers.

It reminds me... I was a far worse student.

It's almost therapeutic hearing me talk from a teachers perspective, while in the background conscious level, imagining myself in that students chair, being told I was much worse. Actually, my parents stopped attending such things after primary school if I remember right, but in principle, the problems these students have are miniscule.

Even the 22 year old kid... at least he turned up. There was pretty much an entire school year where I would do one of two things:

  • Skip the entire school day over and over by going on countryside walks or hanging out in a park with a couple of friends... or by myself.

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This is an actual photo of me years ago. The extra fingers are why I play guitar so well

  • Deliberately miss the school bus, and get on the public bus, arriving well over an hour late, slowly waddle to class.

I was happy with a C, didn't care either way. I was pretty much a loner, and just had my hoodie up over my face the majority of the day hiding from reality.

Even as a little kid, my reports came out consistent: Smart kid (obviously they have to say that) - But, day dreamer.

I simply didn't care, at all, about my future. I'd choose to shred on my guitar various Metallica songs in school somewhere... instead of class. Don't care.

In fact, I only started to care when I took that musical route, I went to a music college in preparation for Music University, and that was far more my cup of tea. I excelled with distinctions - life changed at this point.

Then, at University, I truly woke up and became obsessive about learning. My days were consumed by wikipedia, youtube, free Stanford talks on physics, Free online courses like Coursera, spending my days on the 7th floor library scouring through giant classical music scores and CD's of Brahms and Shostakovich. I loved learning (especially music) and I realised how much I loved sharing the things I learnt.

But since none of my friends shared my passion and were moving on with working at bars, getting drunk, and whatever else graduates tend to do, I needed a different outlet.

So as destiny has it, I became a teacher, where I get paid to share knowledge instead.

With that little story in consideration:

All these students can go far beyond me

Regardless of my contribution to their education - remember, music is the very least important subject, below even PE - it's clear that these kids, even the ones who truly suck, will ultimately go beyond me.

Like I said, I was terrible at this age. I came from a comparatively poor, working class background, with a father who abandoned me the moment I started University, and have had no help ever since, financially or otherwise.

And yet here I am in a career I genuinely enjoy (minus the paperwork, meeting... urgh).

Now imagine being a student in this expensive private school, homes with Chandeliers, property in the USA. Imagine that student giving even a little bit of a damn for their own education and future. Just a teeny bit. Their future is guaranteed.

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So as the music teacher, instead of worrying about their college acceptances, their GPA, their careers, it's nice for me to just focus on inspiring them to wake up and smell the music. Find beauty in the world around them and give them a set of skills that'll make their lives a little bit smoother and brighter than a dead-end, corporate 9-5 sorry existence: self-confidence, delayed gratification, listening, creativity.

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Anyway that's a long enough ramble for today. I hope no future employer sees this terrible high school lifestyle.



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Music University,

This sounds like a fake place. Like "Instagram Influencer University" - but exists.

I thought music would have more of a prestige status in China. That aside, I think kids in general throughout history haven't really understood what is important in life and now, we are kids well into adulthood. 100 years ago, people were married with children in a career job in their late teens - 30-somethings now still are trying to find the equilibrium of non-work/life balance. And parents just want it to be easy too.

It kind of feels like a lot of people have just given up on improving wellbeing and settling for whatever they can get.

If you can find enjoyment and meaning in what you do for work, take the win :)

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Haha, I would like to go to a place actually called Music University, but I was just being semi-anonymous.

I thought music would have more of a prestige status in China.

Well, it is up to the age of maybe 12. After that it's pretty much as the stereotypes tell you. The pressure on these kids to go to a good Uni is ridiculous, they don't even get an adolescence really.

I think married with kids in their teens is almost impossible for city folk nowadays. You're studying nonstop until your mid-20's in a lot of cases.

In hindsight, I have absolutely zero regrets for bumming about in high school XD

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