You're good enough- Stop looking for validation from others
My lips spread out satisfactorily whenever someone complimented something I had done. And when there were no compliments from someone else no matter how good it was, I kept doubting that it was good enough.
Source
I stretched my arms out as wide as possible, indulging a lazy yawn. It was a fine Wednesday morning, and the sun was already rearing its head, causing light rays to filter into my room.
I released a deep breath and turned to pick up my cell phone, then I remembered.
I had a meeting with ‘Grow The Young Foundation’, and I was asked to prepare a sample of a poetry piece that could be presented at their foundation.
I had written down my piece of course but wasn't convinced it was good enough because no person had vetted it.
I was dialing my best male friend's number now, hoping that he would spare a couple of minutes to go through the piece I had done but he didn't answer the phone even after 7 calls.
I tried to call his younger sister, Abigail, who got along with me easily as if she were my own sister. She picked on the second ring.
“Abbie!...”
“Treasure, I'm in class right now, can I call you back?”
“Oh, sure,” I told her, and the line went off before I could say anything else.
I sighed wearily and rose to begin the day's activities.
Brent Morgan - Gonna Be Okay (Official Music Video)
I kept throwing anxious glances toward my phone as I washed the dishes and ran over whenever a notification popped up. To my greatest dismay, none of them was him.
I resorted to calling Tina, another spoken word artist. She wasn't the person I would have loved to speak with, but I knew she would be available.
“Treasure! What a pleasant surprise,” one of the reasons I didn't tally well with Tina was that she had a way of trampling on other people's self-esteem. I thought she was a good artiste which was why I constantly took myself to her when I needed something relating with the art or else I would have maintained my distance.
I told her about the video I created and asked her to review it for me.
By the time she decided that she was done, it was a few minutes past 3 pm. I began to get prepared for the appointment, trying as hard as I could not to remember what she had said in that voice note.
"I'm not sure about this piece you've written. Don't get me wrong, you write very well, but there are vital elements and I'm sorry but your piece doesn't have it. If you ask me, I would say you should consider writing it again, at least, from the fourth line"
I blinked back tears when I failed to remember some of the lines as I rehearsed on my way.
"Your presentation was okay, but I think you need to build self-confidence. How long have you done this for?" Mr Matthias, the convener of the foundation, asked me when we were done.
"Two years, Sir"
"Good enough. Just do more rehearsal and get back to me. I like it"
The call I waited for all day came in when I arrived home that evening.
"Treasure!"
"Where have you been? I've been calling you"
"I'm sorry. Before I realized I had forgotten my phone, I was far away from the house."
I narrated in detail what happened that day, David was "hmphing" and "aahing" at almost every interval.
"You mean that Tina girl said that to you?" I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. "But Treasure, I've told you severally that you're good with wordplay. When you performed at exhibit season 7, it was not just me or your friends cheering you on, it was the entire Department of Theatre Arts, you saw what happened that day, and that's good feedback enough for you to believe in yourself"?
"But..." I wanted to cut in. David, however, was not done with me.
"But nothing, Treasure. There is this song by Brent Morgan that says,
You've been living off opinions for way too long,
Afraid to be right, ashamed to be wrong,
Those people always keeping up to keep you down,
Stop looking for a reason just to keep them around..."
Brent Morgan - Gonna Be Okay Lyrics
He tailed off when he couldn't remember the rest of the song.
"Honestly Treasure," he continued "Stop every association with Tina, she's bad luck. And whether anyone is there to cheer you on or not, be your own cheerleader. You're good already, stop looking for validation!"
I didn't realize I had been sobbing but I thought about everything David said that evening and just as I lay down to retire for the night, pressed the block button close to Tina's contact.
You blocked the same person you sought validation from😅. It does happen though.
I've discovered that most times if we know deep down that we're good at something, just go ahead and do it. They'll always be that one person who's ever ready to throw disparaging remarks at our face.
I swear, looking for validation wanted to kill me then 😂😂😂
Now, I know better. It won't repeat itself... I hope
Thank you for visiting darling 💖
I will say that David is so right. You are your own cheerleader, the best anywhere...always know this.
Don't rely on anyone for validation cos they might not always be available for you....seek your own path and be content to walk in it. Also don't be hard on yourself, making mistakes are part of the human nature. Even if you were to err, you are still the best version of you.
I will always know this darling...
Thank you so much for the kind words. I'll hold them close to my heart ❤️
You're very welcome 🤗😍
To navigate through the world of living by the validation of others is very difficult. I have been victim of it many times too. I downplay my efforts and believe that I am not good enough. One can rarely be happy if we don't validate ourselves before others do.
You are right, always trying to downplay our efforts will only make us unhappy and dissatisfied. Thank you for reading.
It's best to not involve ourselves with people who do not recognise or encourage our talents, always trying to bring our morale down.
This shows you did very well, but her input actually damaged your confidence which showed in the manner of presentation but not in it's content.
Welldone
I did not know better then, I should rid myself of such people's presence.
Thank you so much for your support