I sure needed a confidence boost to go into the world and conquer it

“Who is Sia?”

My sister turned to look at me. One part of her face was almost wiped naturally, while the other part was still heavily clad with makeup.

“What kind of question is that? Sia, the two colored hair singer” it still didn't ring a bell and I said so “That's why you have Google, use it.”

When I finally heard the real lyrics, I was moved to rib-racking laughter. Not at the song, but at myself. Yes, it was a period where I was anything but unstoppable. Everything was stopping me so I stopped the song. Words didn't need to be said out loud before I recognized how disappointed everyone was in me. The glares that followed me when I walked past, the hushed conversations when I walked into the room, the tightened lips and loud sighs, I knew to stay out of everyone's way. I sighed. The song was a good one, but I wasn't interested in being motivated, I wanted practical steps that could make my life work.

When I returned home from school that semester, it seemed like every other person had something to show except myself. It had been like that during the past year too, I would return home to smiles that would fade as soon as eyes were set on me.

“Treasure, you know your father is not contributing one naira to this school you're attending..” whenever my mother began like this, I knew I was in for a lot “....so try, whatever it is just put effort to get something doing. Your older siblings are trying to find their lives. Even your younger brother is working now. Do something!”

I spent a great part of those holidays sulking rather than resting. If I had seen a job, would I reject it? I stayed out of their way until it was time to return to school. Sometimes, I asked for money, other times, I just picked up my bags and left whether I had money or not.

So, when Sia sang about being unstoppable, a Porsche with no breaks, I knew she wasn't referring to me. Even if I was a Porsche, it must have been one with severe brake failure.

I returned to school that season feeling as depressed as ever. I didn't have the motivation to sit at my desk in the hostel to read around 6am anymore so I just curled myself up like a cat and slept in till 8 am.

On most days, my best friend Treasure had to come drag me to class. I wasn't feeling up to it. Not until one day.

I had been washing clothes in the open field stipulated by hostel porters for laundry when a tall lady walked up to me with a bucket in one hand and a few clothes in another.

“Hi” I looked up at her, shielding my eyes from the sun that threatened to blind me if I looked further. “I'm sorry, I'm just returning from your room. They told me I could find you here”

I had to dry my hands, on the black shorts I was putting on so I could stand up straight.

“I don't think I know you”

“No, you don't. My name is Oma, I'm a final year student in the Communication Arts department. I need you to help with my project.”

“Do you know the gravity of what you're asking?”

“Relax” she chuckled. “There's this course where we have to write a play and direct it. I'm the leader of my team but I don't know the first thing about writing or directing plays. Could you help me? I'll pay you of course.”

And that was how it began. It was like someone took out the bad brakes in the Porsche and let it drive freely because Oma’s job opened up two more jobs from the same department within a short time frame.

By April when I went home for Easter break, the expressions, even the treatment were different. I understood the confidence that financial independence gave me at that point. And I silently thanked Sia. Because her song was on repeat from the moment Oma left my room, giving me the confidence boost, I needed to go into the world and conquer it.