Gender imbalance, chlorine obsession and what else I've been up to lately

I find Matt Walsh a strange, perplexing sort of fella. In the sense that I agree a lot with him and sometimes appreciate his brutal wit, but sometimes find him still a good exemplification of everything patriarchal and messed-up within our Western culture.

Still, I found myself intrigued enough to read his latest opinion piece, The Most Effective Way To Destroy Your Husband, Ruin Your Marriage, And Encourage Infidelity. First things first, I don't believe in "encouraging infidelity". Obviously, we have overwhelming research showing infidelity stems not from physical temptation, but mostly from miscommunication in relationships. Still, saying something "encourages infidelity" is a little too close to saying a woman deserves being cheated on because she's a cold, frigid bitch (and I think we've seen enough toxic shit come about from that kind of language, have we not?).

Still, the man has a point, and talks a fair bit about the respect a lot of modern men are missing in today's society. I spent a good deal of time (And got a looot of online hate) writing about this gender imbalance in the past, and while I've personally changed my views a bit, I still have a great deal of sympathy toward the modern man.

Not a happy lot, being told you're the reason for 99% of our modern day problems as a "toxic" straight white man. Which doesn't mean other categories don't suffer viciously from discrimination and imbalance, of course. But still, I sympathize. Especially as a lot of young men I meet are lovely, kind, and actively trying to put any disruptive, patriarchal inheritance behind them.

Walsh talks about how a woman owes her man respect, which isn't always present in modern relationships. Unfortunately, he has a point. I see a lot of women talk about their men very dismissively, and I sympathize with them, also. It's not at all easy carving out an equal, healthy, happy relationship as a woman, and I imagine that (together with past hurts and traumas) enters into being a "cold, frigid bitch".
Is that an excuse? No. But I do think we're going through a redressing period. I think people like Walsh would unfortunately like hardcore patriarchy back and I think it's unfortunate that they are clever and witty and use that to outsmart dumb liberals.

It'd be a folly on our part to assume wit and eloquence make for kindness and forward-thinking, you know?

Me, I still don't get what's so bloody hard. Don't be a dick to your woman (unless it's in the good, desirable way. And don't be a bitch who constantly puts her man down. Doesn't seem like rocket science. Alas, our species is angled towards domination, so here we be.

In other news, I spent the morning browsing beachside accomodations and marveling at people. I found several that boasted their own private pools, which meant the people didn't even mention the nearby beach access (which was my main point of interest).

I don't get it. Despite the nice views your pool may have over the coast, how can you even pay attention to a pool when you have an actual (superb, I might add) sea so close at hand?

I never understood that. I remember when we were in Sicily last year, we saw this fancy hotel with a pool in the cliff overlooking the sea below, and I kept thinking... this place is probably 10 times more expensive than our apartment and if I stayed here, I would spend all the time wanting to go down there, to the beach. Seriously. How can you even consider a pool as being more interesting than the beautiful fucking sea? (God, I miss the sea. Can't wait to go.)

It's weird to me we've become so curated, so clinical and icky. We need chlorine and carefully enclosed spaces rather than the beautiful, wild unknown of the sea. Fucking nuts, to me.

In other, other news, I wanted to honor #threetunetuesday and say hi to the lovely @ablaze. Here's some stuff I've had in my ear lately.

While I love the old, classic PJ, I also really enjoy some of the softer stuff Eddie Vedder's done in more recent years. Found this via Spotify's randomness and had to stop what I was doing to check what this was.
Gorgeous.

I love the Traveling Wilburys (how could you not?).

The original is amazing, too. But there's just something extra about Jules Buckley, isn't there?