RE: Just Like Honey
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The memories just - stop. Or come less frequently, or linger for mere seconds, not a day, where you long with all your heart for a moment that has passed.
Is this due to the fact that you find yourself living more presently, appreciating and cherishing the moments that you're in, the time you're having now (and into the next few moments of the future), however thick that delineating line is?
My memories definitely get fuzzier with each day, but then some days, I will remember something that I had surely "forgotten", but may encounter a small pang of regret, or loss; or perhaps a desire to experience something again for the first time.
I am not entirely sure where I'm going with this train of thought but it brings me to a memory of something that I have of something else, someone simply saying "You don't know when will be the last time you do a thing, or see someone, so make it count."
(Poorly paraphrased) - I think it might've been a YouTube video or a TedTalk or something.
If I keep my mind in the present, the nostalgia may not have an opportunity to invade, and perhaps I can stay in the present, and be present.
I do think I've learnt some emotional regulation skills over the years, as well as learning to appreciate the now with more zest than ever. I've learnt life is precious and it's a waste of time holding onto the life you've already lived. Plus, when I met Jamie I became deliriously in love, and have remained so, so that most longing has faded.
Maybe it's just understanding how mine - the - brain works, and how extricate myself from pointless dwelling on things I can never get back.
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