RE: When I don't feel like talking...
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Once you understand that nobody really wants to hurt you, they are just projecting their own limitations on you, and nothing is really maliciously directed to you (well 99.99%, there are rare exceptions), then you understand that those are not really insults, but cries of help. You should know who you really are, and do not depend on external validation. Once you know who you are, the outside is just noise.
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That is such a weird thing to learn, isn't it? It was such a shock the first time I realized that the person I considered the aggressor was also a victim in some way.
Getting better at it, though still very much work in progress.