ɴᴇᴍᴇsɪs ᴏғ sᴇᴛʙᴀᴄᴋs

Making plans for what is yet to be has become a custom for mankind, a structure put in place to ensure things go according to our expectations. I'm not sure how this works for other people but I have always been able of visualise my plans, watching it step by step how it becomes a reality. As long I can think, I can see it. Quite beautiful when you think of it, having to experience ones future before it unfolds, that is how far my ability to plan goes but recently something changed and all I can see is me of now and nothing else. Should I say I'm stuck or probably I got scared of looking into what is ahead of me.

They say our imaginations comes from the depth of our desires, as truthful as it might sound it is not really applicable to me. When I envision the future of my dreams it is absent of expectations and fairy tales, it is all about empirical data gathered of my present situation, verifying every available details and fact. Ensuring there is no loophole to avoid failure, even if along the line there comes untied loose ends which might result to the failure of my plans, I would know of it. Which means my plans are based on fact about my present not dreams and desires. Well that was what I thought.

About three weeks ago I was mobilised for service, an event I have been preparing for, for quite a long time. In as much as I wanted it to unfold I knew it would eventually affect me in ways I never thought was possible. One of the Few effects I can foresee was the fact that I will have to leave everything I was doing behind which includes my online activities, my hive career sitting at the top of the list. For those who have known me over the years could testify to the fact that I take I hive career very seriously. Not like a job per say but a place I could gladly call my home based on the friends and connection I have made. Looking at the possibilities of leaving my hive account idle I ventured into research to figure out the possible ways I could reduce the effect, which means figuring out how rigorous the activities in NYSC camp are.

To an extent my research was fruitful, I discovered a lot of things from those who have served before me which assisted me in creating countermeasures to ensure I remain active during 3 weeks I will be in camp. They say, while making plans always give room for the unexpected which I did but I grew too confident while planning which led me into believing everything has been provided for. Getting to camp just like every other students filled with energy despite the fact that I spent over 5 hours traveling to NYSC camp in Oyo state. I was confident that I was going to be just fine, I was but it only lasted for awhile.

I finished my in camp registration swiftly just to make sure no time was wasted, at the moment it felt like everything was going according to plan till it wasn't. My first encounter was "drills" A compulsory military exercise every Corp member is expected to participate in. Since I was done with my registration and I was given my NYSC kits, I wasted no time in putting on my white on white camp dressing code which was the first mistake I made. Immediately the soldiers saw me on white on white which indicates I was done with in-camp registration and ready for camp activities, I was matched down to the parade ground.

_{Picture taken from parade practice on the parade ground}

And that was how it all started, being introduced to the match practice was fun at first till we began to repeat the same steps over and over again till my legs felt numb. That was when I realised I have not given my body time to rest from the traveling but there was no going back. Even if there was, it was not known to me at the moment and that was how I discovered how much my laps could hurt. Nursing the pain and also going through the camp activities made me forget every other thing existed. I guess during my research phase about camp activities I wasn't told that the difficulty depends on which camp you are deployed to.

Getting back few days ago, for the first couple of days I was just healing because everywhere just hurts, when I finally got back to my senses and tried continuing from where I stopped I realised I have left my hive account dormant for 3 weeks and a couple of days. Which means any hive goals I set for last month and this month is far from my reach which is quite disheartening looking at how I started this year making a lot of progress.

Why wallowing in self-pity which is not something I do but desperate times demands a different reaction. In the process I reached out to a mentor of mine on hive and she would not stop laughing, though I was pissed at first Watching her laugh at something so painful to me. I patiently waited for her to say something meaningful after what just transgressed, just like I thought "She said, the reason you are wallowing in self-pity is not because you left your hive account dormant but because you feel too proud to admit your plan failed, why not just suck it up, pick up the pieces and get back on track." That moment I realised it is just another setback I shouldn't let it get to me.

For the benefit of those who find themselves in same situation as mine feeling burnout as a result of a setback they experience, wallowing in self-pity in the same way I did I recommend this happy antidote.