LOH 110 X TTT 79: Love, Hope and Lies.

This year, many would say, has been the most trying. I agree. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like the world just kept receiving blows after blows with this year. Some nations more than others. My heart still goes out to Ukraine.

Today, I want to answer the question prompted by the Ladies of Hive community saying:

As we're approaching the end of the year, let's take a moment to reflect on what we've achieved and learned in 2022. We look forward to hearing about your experience!

I would also be giving my three favorite songs or songs I feel best suits this write-up. It's a mashup.

TTT is an initiative started by @ablaze and quoting him from my partner's post, @tengolotodo:

"The jist is as follows
Every Tuesday I'm going to share 3 songs which I like to listen to and I invite your feedback in the comments below. Better still, why not have a blast of your own Three Tune Tuesday and mention me in the post and I'll come and find the post and upvote it. If you could also use #ttt or #threetunetuesday tags that would be great. It'll be a sweet way for us all to discover new music. You'll also be in with a chance of winning the prize - more on that later."

I learned a lot of things in the year. Some lessons came with mistakes made and others came from watching others. What's the lesson that stuck with me most this year?

ME, MYSELF & I ~ G-EAZY ft. BEBE REXHA

I made a comment about how much music can speak to our emotions more than anything or anyone else can. That's because music is spiritual and springs from the soul. As such, the words that are formed and written are given life from different individual experiences.

So this year, I faced a lot within me and without. I met people, I dropped people. In the midst of the whole chaos and confusion, hurt and pain (pain and hurt that mostly stemmed from within), I found certain truths and convictions. I got to know me more. To know myself. I've also come to love me…to accept me.

As the song relates, I found ways to cope when it gets too much. I might actually fall and go off radar, but I also got to learn that it's okay. We tend to be harder on ourselves than we should. I still feel guilty, most of the time, but I've learned how to drown those voices. Not totally.

RISE UP ~ ANDRA DAY

I've learned that life would never be a bed if roses. I'll still fall and would feel overwhelmed. I might even go ahead to make more mistakes in the course of it.

I've also learned that there's nothing that's impossible where there's hope. Like I told a friend the past week, Love can only thrive where hope abounds. Some may call it faith. The reason the world is like this now, all boils down to the absence of love.

So, if I'm struggling and not being who I want to be, if I'm loosing, falling behind and getting to watch my mates go ahead of me, it doesn't mean I should stop loving me. That's a mistake we as humans make. We forget that we are also human. We talk down on ourselves, see ourselves as useless and try to compare ourselves to others and that isn't how it should be.

Am I perfect? No. Would I still fall into the temptation of self loathing? Probably. But does it mean I won't get back up, beat the dust off and walk on? No! That is all that should matter.

I've learned that those falls happen so we can understand how it feels to be on the ground. It happens so that we get to feel what it's like crumbling and crashing from different heights; one higher than the last. All these happens so that when we finally get to the top, to that finish line, we don't look down on those behind or those below. No. Instead, we are filled with compassion because we know what it feels like. We become the strength of the world. The HOPE they need. That is the beginning of LOVE. All that happens, all that is right now, is happening to fan the flame within. Keep it burning. That's what I keep telling myself.

RED SWAN ~ YOSHIKI FT. HYDE

We all lie sometimes. I have lied to myself so many times I can't even keep up. There's what we call the brave face. We put it up and move on like the storm ahead is nothing. We keep running towards it though we are falling apart inside.

We do this not because we want to prove to the world or something, but because if we pause or hesitate, the ones we stay strong for would end up crumbling. We give the strength they need. When they look at us, they are rejuvenated because, "she's still standing. So it's nothing to worry about."

I know because my Mom has said that to me. The very first time I cried this year in front of her, I regretted it. That was the moment I knew that my mother feeds off my strength. No. She gets the whole source from her relationship with God but she feels at peace when I'm okay. I guess that's a mother's love.

I have dreams. Dreams that I've shared with a few people. Dreams that hurt the more I long for them. Dreams that pierce more than a stake to the heart and yet, I still dream on.

I still lie to myself. My walking steps, the way I talk, the way I laugh…they are all lies borne out of hope. Hope that these lies would metamorphose into reality.

I don't regret it. The lying. Because another lesson, the law of attraction works. So I attract it and it's speaking right now. I'm no longer living in a rundown house where I have to sleep on the cold floor. No. Haha.

Mom and I have moved. We still stay in that apartment but the interior has changed. The law of attraction works and so I'd say, lie as much as you want. See with the mind's eye and lie. Fake it till you make it!

I invite @sweetsoul and @snook to share their experiences and lessons.

Disclaimer: None of the uploaded songs belong to me. They are shared for listening purposes via Youtube Links.