RE: Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen - Chapter 2

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Wow, thank you - I do try to comes across as respectful, not critical! Constructive. Helpful.
Let me repeat: you're doing great! The story is flowing. The exposition is well written and easy for the reader to follow. Most fantasy novels are so laden with made-up names, it wears me out trying to keep track of them.
I didn't see the dragon scene as childish.
Punctuation can be very annoying and distracting, especially in monologues, with multiple paragraphs, and some authors handle this by not putting quote marks around dialogue AT ALL - Kent Haruf in "Plainsong", for one.

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Duly note: Haruf writes that the guy "was standing" - something workshoppers will clobber you for! - yet this book made the best seller list and a movie based on the novel.

I'm not suggesting that we should ditch "quote marks" the way Haruf did. His unorthodox punctuation has its pros and its cons.

Too many internal editors overseeing your work could be crippling. I really hope y our "Muse" keeps narrating and you keep spinning this tale without tripping over grammar and syntax. Says the woman who never takes her own advice: keep writing! Keep the flow going! Later, come back to trim and tighten....

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You come across precisely like you want, you just missed knowledgeably😂

Well, my inner critic can be a loudmouth but indeed flow and storyline are key the rest is secondary still in the end it´s the full package that counts. I don't need to be unorthodox or innovative although I would like it.
But not feeling crippled for now, but I am definitely taking a better look although creating that sense of urgency to really draw the reader deeper in is pretty challenging I should read the how-to on that I guess

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To my unending frustration, most readers/editors/workshoppers and even small-press publishers kept telling me my opening pages lacked urgency and conflict. The market demands an exploding helicopter on page one. Why the frustration? I see the conflict as real and compelling - a woman almost age 30 has kept her flying career a secret from her parents, but she's getting ready to risk their wrath by telling them what she really does.
To find an editor who gets you, who likes your characters, who enjoys being in the world you've just built - that's the challenge! That, and getting lots of readers to keep turning the pages, saying More More MORE.
My favorite books have not been popular or even particularly famous.

Good Morning, Young Lady (1953)

The Neanderthal's Aunt

Botanicaust

Poor Man's Wealth

And of course Harry Potter - Book One is the best - the series has many flaws, as critics love to point out, but so what! We love Harry!

If you love the TV show Dexter, don't waste your time on the books. The first one is ok, but the last one is beyond terrible.

So, "Write what you like to read" is risky advice for me, because I love obscure authors who never made the best seller lists.

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Well I can relate slightly as in I love the Dark Tower Series and do not care about other Stephen King books that sold much better. But I am lazy, I prefer audiobooks to books as I just cant find (make)the time to sit and read.

But I don't feel like I have a choice I write what I like, my urgency is to get the stories out, but I guess I can start them off with conflict instead of narration 😎

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Audiobooks - if you can multi-task, listen to books while weeding, mopping, washing dishes, cooking, that'd be great. Maybe if I try ear buds and Bluetooth I can make this work, but it's too hard for me to hear above the background noise.
#conflict
Doesn't have to mean running for your life and battling a cyborg.
Star Wars opened with a simple conflict: farm boy wants to get off the planet, go see the universe, but his adoptive parents want him to stay home safe.
Keep writing... come back later to see if you need to redefine what's at stake, in the opening pages...

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What Is Conflict in Literature?

In literature, a conflict is a literary device characterized by a struggle between two opposing forces. Conflict provides crucial tension in any story and is used to drive the narrative forward. It is often used to reveal a deeper meaning in a narrative while highlighting characters’ motivations, values, and weaknesses. There are six main types of literary conflict, each of which is detailed below.

  1. Character vs. Self
    This is an internal conflict, meaning that the opposition the character faces is coming from within. This may entail a struggle to discern what the moral or “right” choice is, or it may also encompass mental health struggles. All other types of conflict are external—meaning that a character comes up against an outside force that creates the conflict.

(Click on the link to get all six)

..... All stories feature some kind of conflict that the characters must face and overcome. This not only drives the story forward but also gives readers an insight into the main characters’ actions and motivations. A good piece of fiction writing will be full of unforeseen tensions, competition, and power struggles. Nonfiction writing also benefits from conflict drawn from everyday situations and people that are central to the narrative.....
lLearn more about creating conflict in writing from bestselling author Dan Brown in his MasterClass](https://www.masterclass.com/classes/dan-brown-teaches-writing-thrillers).

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