Pleasurable Guilt; Purse Fever, But You've Got To Mum It.

"Will you stop buying them? Whenever I come to your room, that's all I see?"My mother said with a frown.

I'd sometimes want to roll my eyes as quietly as I could and give a reply like, "What about me? Don't you see me, mom?" Instead, with a deep sigh, I'd always shake my head, bow it, and leave her presence. "Tkkk, this woman will never understand 😂." I'd say as silently as I could under my breath.

Well, that's African mothers for you. They seem not to like seeing things in excess like that, so I thought.

My love for bag shopping began when I was in secondary school and also an apprentice at a hair salon. Maybe it was because where I stayed was closer to the country's border. Well, I think that's it. Getting purses then were super cheap. Then, I could get an “Okrika(thrift)” purse for 50-100 naira($ 0.030-0.061), and they were of good quality.

To me, I need to buy as many as I can for future purposes, so I never miss a chance to check the purses and get them out whenever the sellers come to where I learn my hairstylist work.

The more purses I got, the more nail went to my room's wall to add another collection to my purse fever which became a menace to my mom because she's a pro minimalist and so was I but not with purses.

Buying purses and keeping them went on that I didn't know had become a habit for me. A habit that turned to guilt...well, a pleasurable guilt as I couldn't help getting more whenever I saw them.

However, being always sick ruined things for me. I always got sick when I was in high school , and it was hard believing I wasn't a sickle cell patient. Getting sick was something I didn't like because that means my classmates would have to come over to my place to check up on me.

Sure, it was nice having them around, but not with the ladies though, any chance they get to enter my room becomes a huge battle for me. Maybe it was my tone of saying, "No," that tells them it is a sexual lover's words where the statement, "No" means, don't stop, I actually want it.

But to me, it wasn't, whenever I said "No", I meant it but they end up liking my purse collection and asking if they can take them which I never agree to but they end up taking anyway... I was always angry at myself and mostly my health because if I wasn't sick, they wouldn't come to my home in the first place to glutton over my prized collections.

The more they took, the more I got and kept in a safer place where only my eyes could feast on them. Like Smeagol from "Lords of the Rings," my love for purses grew, and for years, I stacked them up that I never even got to make use of so many of them.

However, when I got to higher institutions, things changed a bit. I was busy working to support myself and also studying. I hardly had time to even check out purses because I knew they were temptation, just like a Nigerian song by P-square says,

_{"This na temptation"}

So, before it got a little confusing how I have a new purse in my hands with the money I planned to buy a textbook with, I just kindly looked away.

But, after school, I have found myself leaning toward this pleasure once more, and the guilt is even higher than before because I know this goes against my minimalist ethos. Yeah, I know, but it just can't be helped. I am sorry. Now, let's mum this secret.

This is my response to Cleaning out my closet from the minimalist community. You can join in as well, following the stated rules.

_{Images used are mine and video from #YouTube.}

Still yours truly,
Balikis.

Thanks for reading, listening, and not judge...y

Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.