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Yesterday was basically my first time hearing the word 'breadcrumbing' in a relationship, and I was glad I learned about it.
I usually join a particular Twitter space every Friday evening, which paved way for people to let off the burden in their hearts, it's more like a heart-to-heart discussion. I do enjoy listening to that space in order to be vast in reasoning, learn from people's mistake and just connect with people.
A listener requested the microphone, as soon as the mic was granted to him, he began to tell us some of the traits of a particular lady he's known for years, she led him on for a while and then he fell for her, after a while he told her his intentions but all she does is breadcrumbs him.
She doesn't want to let go of him and she doesn't want to date him, all she just want to do is flirt with him. It's more like giving him a half-baked attention just to keep him hanging in the middle of nowhere. He cannot figure out what exactly to do. As soon as he backs off, she begins to show keen interest in him again, and when he tries to follow up, she doesn't seem interested. That's exactly what breadcrumbing is.
After sharing his experience, he sought advice from other listeners and the host. He was adviced to move on with his life and ignore further signals from her.
Mixed signals isn't a sign of love, it's is only an emotional manipulation, more like eating your cake and having it, they don't want to lose total control over you, or maybe they just want to keep you as a plan B, so they keep confusing you with mixed signals.
When one stop entertaining their manipulation, the manipulator might eventually realize what they truly want, if at all they want it.
This song came to mind, "Too little.. Too late" By Jojo.
It's high time we all realized what we're worth and stopped entertaining mediocrity. In that song, Jojo realized her self-worth and chose self-respect, and the determination not to settle for less.
"You know all the right thing to say, it's just too little too late," which proves that people know exactly what they are doing, they know the right thing to do, they know who they want and who they are ready to stay committed to, so it's about time we stopped accepting a half-hearted effort or gesture.
It's not always easy choosing to move on regardless, but it is the best thing to do for the sake of our emotions and mental health. We should learn to place some value on ourselves and set reasonable boundaries, we are no toys to be played with, we deserve to be treated better and whoever isn't ready to be a part of your life should walk out respectfully rather than trampling upon your self-worth.
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Thank you.
In the case scenario of the illustration you gave, that lady might be doing what she has seen her peers do men especially if trauma is involved. You would hear things like, don't get too involved, play hard to win or just show him small suffering.
The fact that she keeps coming back with green light signals buttresses my point. She wants him but she doesn't want to give in easily or like you said, he is her plan B.
Being confident in ourselves and understanding our worth will help us make better decisions. I support the advice given to the young man.
No one should be relegated to being a second fiddle
Yeah, well I am glad he was adviced to move on, he would find someone who would adore him.
Yes
Even it is new for me too.. Thanks for Sharing..
You're welcome.
Breadcrumbing, I never heard of the word in that sense, thanks for the insight, nice read.
#dreemerforlife
Thanks for visiting.
I literally thought it was about bread o.. eweee,
Okay, now I have another word to my vocabulary.
Yeah, mixed signals is even very far from love. Itβs nowhere near it.
#dreemerforlife
Hehe, another word to face @bipolar95, not my hand writing o.
Thanks for stopping by.
π€£π€£π€£ thank you