Your Spiritual Freedom Lies Through Your Humanity, Not in Spite of It

Earlier today, I had a rare moment of emotional collapse in public. Walking down the street, I sank to the ground and wept my eyes out between my knees, rocking back and forth. In that moment, it didn't necessarily matter what chaotic events led to that moment. In fact, allowing my body to take over was what I needed to do. Release and emptiness washed over me, freeing me from the fast-moving train of the inner critic voices and negative thoughts in my head. Then I brushed myself off and walked home. When I got home, I danced and let myself release more of the pain I've been holding.

When I look in the mirror, I see a young woman living a creative life, and growing in maturity and confidence. This woman often neglects herself and her needs, in basically all of her relationships. Someone who often feels alone and isolated, beats herself up for her stuck points, and feels ashamed to ask for help.

Yet even though she's going through a lot of change and is outside of her comfort zone in many different ways, she's doing her best.

When I danced today, I found an enduring grace from within. To me, grace is a presence that we cultivate that reminds us of the unconditional goodness that's here, regardless of what we've done or what is happening to us. It is my own inner grace that enables me to sit with my struggle without defense or answers, letting it be what it is. As Ram Dass says, your (spiritual) freedom lies through your humanity, not in spite of it. Having grace is to have faith and acceptance in our own humanity and in life's darkest moments. To humble up and ask for help, or be in prayer. This surrender has always been a struggle for me, yet something I've been trusting more. Allowing myself to cry and feel vulnerable feelings is a gateway to finding grace from within.

Your hurt is real, but so is grace. Let grace meet you here in the mystery, and remind you deep within it, you are not lacking anything. No matter the amount of times you have been made to feel that you were too much or not enough, none of the moments take you away from who you truly are, and the wisdom and the strength that has continued to grow strong within you.

Pay attention to the things that do not consume your mind the way they used to. Make note of the places in your life where you have learned to be more patient than you were years ago. These things may not seem like much, but they matter more than you know. They point to the beautiful reality that even here, you have continued to grow.

— Morgan Harper Nichols