When your love for this life is even greater than your fear

AI image, "Dancer in a psychedelic universe made of holographic flowers"

Yesterday, I recorded a video with Fred, the director of the nonprofit organization I work for. We announced my emerging position as the associate director, which is a further reminder of the significant opportunity I have to own my voice and my capacity to make a positive difference in this world.

My favorite part was closing the conversation with a reflection on our times, specifically a reason that gives us hope, meaning, or purpose in an unknown future. One of the things we felt like we had in common was that the love for life grows stronger in spite of (and maybe because of) the darkness of the world. As an organization that provides thousands of our subscribers with information about some of the deepest corruptions and abuses of our world, we are part of a growing movement of alternative thinkers seeking to understand the inner workings of society and our world. The courageous journey to seek deeper truths comes at a cost. Our beliefs and worldviews get called into question, along with the authority systems we've leaned on and put our trust in.

In this movement, I often see lack of self-care, dehumanization of people who believe in these authority systems, and polarization that stifles nuance and sensemaking. These qualities, if left in imbalance, create a worldview that only sees the worst in humanity and life. This greatly hinders our ability to see reality clearly. Consider a quote by Julia Butterfly Hill, a famous environmental activist who lived in a 1000 year old California redwood tree to prevent clearcutting of ecologically significant forests.

“So often activism is based on what we are against, what we don't like, what we don't want. And yet we manifest what we focus on. And so we are manifesting yet ever more of what we don't want, what we don't like, what we want to change. So for me, activism is about a spiritual practice as a way of life. And I realized I didn't climb the tree because I was angry at the corporations and the government; I climbed the tree because when I fell in love with the redwoods, I fell in love with the world. So it is my feeling of 'connection' that drives me, instead of my anger and feelings of being disconnected."

AI image, "Dancing on planet earth"

I commit to not losing sight of my zest for life. My faith in human goodness and our self-organizing capacities. My growing humility that mindfully holds space for differences and the troubling uncertainty of our times. My acceptance of reality as it is, even as I work tirelessly to help transform the conditions that give rise to violence and harm in all its forms. Most importantly, I commit to upholding my desire to take care of my health: body, mind, and spirit. This enhances everything we do in life, big or small.

What if we included these qualities in our lives, just as much as researching information, staying updated on the news, and holding the powerful accountable? How would this enhance our activism?

For me, having a daily practice of freestyle dance is a profound source of joy. It connects me back to my senses, my ground, and my bigger picture. I can give more of me and not less of me, because I'm continually filling my own cup when it gets drained out by the roars of the world or my own inner shadows. Dancing reminds me that I am a multi-dimensional human experiencing life in all of its diverse forms, for however long I have on this planet. I give thanks every day for the ability to move and be physical.

Hope you enjoy this dance video, Hive community! @mada was my inspiration for this dance, as I just came back from Minneapolis after visiting him for a few weeks. I am totally drunk in love, and can't wait to see what the future holds.

Today in California, we are enjoying the respite from the intense winds and rainstorms. I love the ways that the sun hides and reveals itself through the clouds rolling through :)

track id:

1. So Good to Me - Chris Malinchak
2. Higher - Jai Nova
3. Wild Girl (Paul Woodford Remix) - Kito, Empress Of
4. Disarm Yourself (Protoculture Remix) - Dash Berlin, Emma Hewitt