Finding His Way Forward.

It’s not really a good day over here. Normally, it’s supposed to be one of my best days as my boyfriend is celebrating his birthday today but it’s the other way round.
For some weeks now, he has been acting all strange and weird. I’ve tried my best complaining, persuading and even making things go well with us but he doesn’t seem to make any change.

“I’m going through some things lately. That’s why I’ve been acting all strange,” things like what? There is no other thing he’s going through than the fact that he’s kinda broke and he doesn’t have some money but his weird attitude has been pissing me off lately.

Many times, I’ll sleep on the edge of my bed so I can fall on the floora and feel a particular pain so I’ll cry because of that. I’ve been crying too much about the way my love life has been deteriorating. It’s really sad.

Then, yesterday, I told him about a shirt which I got for him as his birthday present. At the same time, I asked if we could be together today, which is his birthday but he declined. That’s normal but the next statement is what made me cry.

“A lady is taking me out today so I won’t be available,” he said this to me. How does he want me to feel? It is crystal clear that he doesn’t care about how I feel because if he really does, he won’t tell me that a lady was taking him out today and because of her, he won’t be available for me.

What’s the next thing to do? Cry! I cried. This hurt me more than all the attitude he has been bringing up for weeks.

I kept playing this song to console myself. Yes, I know that it isn’t a must for this relationship to work but at the same time, it has to work.
I’ve invested my time, money, body and my emotions into this relationship and it can’t just go like that.

Or, don’t you think he knows that I love him so much and that’s why he’s treating me this way? I’m tired but still, I don’t want to give up on him.

I started singing this song. I didn’t mean to switch to gospel but at the moment, this felt like the best song that I can listen to. I became calm afterwards and till now, I’m still singing the song. Instead of me to be sad, depressed or crying, I will just sing this song for the rest of my day and keep going till I’m fine.

I want to hear advices mostly from men. I believe that men understand their genders and women understand ours too. Do you feel this man is actually going to change? Do you feel he’s bringing up all of these attitudes just because he’s broke and trying to find the way forward? Do you think he feels I’m a distraction to him?

What are your thoughts?